Funny story: Paris Hilton Angered At Media Blackout

Paris Hilton Angered At Media Blackout

Paris Hilton is angry about her recent media blackout. Since shortly after her release from prison, several international news agencies have refused to carry stories about the socialite for at least one month.
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Funny story: Government safety warning about tombstoning and other activities

Government safety warning about tombstoning and other activities

Following the hideous accident that happened recently to a man who engaged in the so-called sport of "tombstoning" (jumping off a pier with a gravestone with their name inscribed on it), the Government has passed sa...
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Funny story: Harry Potter was originally porn fiction

Harry Potter was originally porn fiction

J.K. Rowling has admitted that the Harry Potter books were originally meant to be porno books for adults.
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Funny story: Madge Puts Her Minge on eBay

Madge Puts Her Minge on eBay

LONDON (Defecated News) - Pop Queen Madonna sent out a press release this morning in which she confirmed she has put her pubic hair up for auction. The move came after weeks of gossip that Madonna had to do something to get some pres...
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Funny story: Explosive Gases Used To Combat Smokers

Explosive Gases Used To Combat Smokers

The government has announced new legislation to combat people ignoring the ban on smoking in public places.
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Funny story: Wasps are just spiteful bastards

Wasps are just spiteful bastards

Scientists in Montana have proved beyond all doubt that Wasps are just mean. The little sods who spoil picnics, sting for no reason, and who have no apparent reason to exist have been the bane of many people's live.
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Funny story: Rove 'a Witness to Hystery': Bush

Rove 'a Witness to Hystery': Bush

Washington DC - (Ass Mess): George W Bush has praised Karl Rove's 'tremendous sacrifice' to leave Capitol Hill in the wake of the Scooter Libby perjury pardon fiasco and has said he was a 'witness to hystery'.
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Funny story: Scientists Uncover New Evidence on Shroud of Turin

Scientists Uncover New Evidence on Shroud of Turin

(Vatican News Service) Scientists and archaeologists permitted to study the ancient mystery known as The Shroud of Turin have uncovered new evidence. Those researchers, however, have refused to fully reveal their findings until they are placed under...
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Funny story: Ohio to Offer Free Health Insurance to Residents

Ohio to Offer Free Health Insurance to Residents

Columbus (AP) The Ohio State legislature today passed a bill that will give free health insurance to all Ohio residents in 2008. Funding will come from a special 2.5% tax imposed on families with income above $250,000.
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Funny story: Karl Rove to Resign At End of August

Karl Rove to Resign At End of August

Karl Rove, presidential advisor to George W. Bush and long called "The Brain", will resign at the end of the month. This will leave a void in that sinking ship known as The White House with almost 1 1/2 years left in Bush's term and no...
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Funny story: Obama Makes Another Speech Blunder That Echoes Party's Current Woes

Obama Makes Another Speech Blunder That Echoes Party's Current Woes

Two weeks ago, he wanted to sit down for tea with his country's enemies. Last week, he was willing to go in and bomb their friends and allies. In his latest example of foot in mouth disease, Illinois freshman Senator and Democratic Presidential...
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Funny story: Imus in the frame as Karl Rove bombs

Imus in the frame as Karl Rove bombs

Washington DC - (Ass Mess): Former radio shock-jock Don 'Nappy-Headed Ho' Imus is in the frame to replace Karl Rove as the Bush Administration's top strategist.
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Funny story: Stargazers On The Lookout For Goulden Shower

Stargazers On The Lookout For Goulden Shower

Stargazers all over the world were out in force last night to witness a shower of meteorites that passed close enough to the Earth's atmosphere to be viewed with the naked eye.
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Funny story: Karl Rove Joins Hare Krishna Movement

Karl Rove Joins Hare Krishna Movement

Atlanta, Georgia (IP) - Karl Rove announced today that he is leaving his job as Bush's advisor and has decided to join a Mexican Hare Krishna group. He says he has done enough damage and now wants to make amends.
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Funny story: Fat Man Crosses Road

Fat Man Crosses Road

There was so little news to report over the weekend, that many news stations were forced to report the story of a fat man who simply crossed the road in New Jersey.
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Funny story: Hilton to star in Sequel

Hilton to star in Sequel

Sources can now reveal that heiress Paris Hilton has won a new movie role. Hilton will play a teacher in the sequel to Bratz: The Movie. The sequel, called Bratz: School For Slutz, will be released in 2008.
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Funny story: Meteors Fell By the Bucket Loads

Meteors Fell By the Bucket Loads

Mount Palomar, California (IP) - Meteors fell by the bucket load last night and delighted the astronomers on this astronomical campus as well as members of the lay public. Unfortunately the meteors fell only on the Mount Palomar campus.
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Funny story: Al Gore Will Run For President in 2008

Al Gore Will Run For President in 2008

Mephistopheles, Tennessee (IP) - Al Gore finally announced today that he will be running for President in 2008. He promises to end the war in Iraq in an honorable way and will make America the green envy of the world.
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Funny story: Giada Stars in Italian Reggae Show: Pasta Man Vibration

Giada Stars in Italian Reggae Show: Pasta Man Vibration

Milano, Italy (IP) - While travelling through Italy our entertainment reporter stumbled upon an exciting new show featuring Giada De Laurentiis in an Italian Reggae extravaganza named "Pasta Man Vibration". The show has a little something...
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Funny story: Al Gore to Run For President

Al Gore to Run For President

New York, New York (IP) - Al Gore has finally announced that he will run for president. He is being hired by President Bush to run errands.
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Funny story: Rove Leaves White House

Rove Leaves White House

Washington (IP) - Karl Rove called our Washington reporter last night and confided in her that he was leaving the White House due to the President's pending impeachment. He said he was getting out while the getting was good.
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Funny story: Brad Pitt tames Angelina's lesbian libido

Brad Pitt tames Angelina's lesbian libido

Brad Pitt has tamed Angelina's lesbian antics and has calmed her wild ways. How, we all want to know. The secret is finally out.
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Funny story: Manchester United Sign Foetus

Manchester United Sign Foetus

Manchester United yesterday signed an unborn baby on a thirty-year contract worth £80,000 a week.
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Funny story: Angelina is Looking at the Ladies

Angelina is Looking at the Ladies

According to reliable sources, Angelina Jolie may be getting a little tired of Brad's boys nights out and his bike escapades. She is getting fed up with his lack of patience and understanding.
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Funny story: NASCAR to Develop Sitcom? Oh Boy!

NASCAR to Develop Sitcom? Oh Boy!

Item: NASCAR officials are working with Fox to develop a prime-time comedy show.
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Funny story: Angelina Buying her own House

Angelina Buying her own House

When Angelina found out about Brad's new pad, she was rather miffed to say the least. Simply because she was the last to know, so she did what any woman would do in her shoes, GO SHOPPING!...
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Funny story: Fat Guy Spotted Pulling Green Plaid Suitcase

Fat Guy Spotted Pulling Green Plaid Suitcase

NEW YORK (Heewack News Network) -- A fat middle-aged man was spotted on a busy street here toting a green plaid suitcase.
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Funny story: Hair Dryers Can Kill

Hair Dryers Can Kill

Croydon, Saaf London (Defecated News) - In a recent independent study, a scientist has hypothesized that in theory, hair dryers can kill you, and me - possibly.
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Funny story: Bush Curses The Faroes

Bush Curses The Faroes

PRESIDENT Bush last night stunned White House advisers by adding the tiny Faroe Islands to his 'Axis of Evil'.
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Funny story: Monkeys Chart success predicted

Monkeys Chart success predicted

Monkeys are widely predicted to take over the world. We asked Pam Ayres for her opinion on the latest world music news.
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Funny story: Tommy Thompson Withdraws from Presidential Race

Tommy Thompson Withdraws from Presidential Race

Presidential candidate Tommy Thompson announced last night that he is withdrawing from the race, after a poor showing in Iowa. The former Wisconsin governor and Bush cabinet member cited his embarrassing sixth place finish behind Ron...
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Funny story: Invisible Man admits he is a raving attention seeker

Invisible Man admits he is a raving attention seeker

Fictional character The Invisible Man said that he cannot get enough of the attention that he is paid on a regular basis. Speaking on Richard and Judy's show last week, the famously invisible celebrity says that people are often shocked and surprised when they see him.
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Funny story: Hunter S. Thompson's restaurant review

Hunter S. Thompson's restaurant review

It was sometime before 8 PM when I entered the swanky new French restaurant, Le Rongeur Precieux, with my buxom escort, Lola, and a satchel full of emergency supplies. As the maitre d came to welcome us, I put him in a hammerlock.
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Funny story: Ron Paul: Victory in Iowa Straw Poll

Ron Paul: Victory in Iowa Straw Poll

Congressman Ron Paul declared victory tonight after his 5th place finish in the straw poll at Ames, Iowa. While the candidate finished behind Mitt Romney and four others, three of the top four are not serious candidates, and Romney s...
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Funny story: No News - Everybody Bored

No News - Everybody Bored

LONDON - WASHINGTON - PARIS - WELL, EVERYWHERE - In a dramatic u-turn of world history, the Beeb has recently made a statement - in cooperation with CNN, ITV, FORBES and all other news desks - that 'Nothing is Happening'. Tha...
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Funny story: Man Executed - He Made 'Boobies' Out Of Sand

Man Executed - He Made 'Boobies' Out Of Sand

SAUDI ARABIA (Defecated News) - A British man was executed last night after a failed last minute bid by diplomats and ministers to have him set free. Tony Hart (18) of Birmingham was arrested last week after Saudi police responded to...
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Funny story: Gordon Brown - 'Beard Tax On The Way'

Gordon Brown - 'Beard Tax On The Way'

WESTMINININSTER (Defecated News) - With recent polls indicating a clear win for Labour at a October general election, Gordon Brown yesterday introduced changes in tax law that could boost his popularity even more.
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Funny story: Manchester United Try To Sign New Improved 4-Year-Old Beckham

Manchester United Try To Sign New Improved 4-Year-Old Beckham

After a report on The Spoof over the weekend that David Beckham has, through jet lag, been regressed to the state of a 4-year-old, it has now emerged that Manchester United have approached LA...
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Funny story: Stepped Up Security at Border Impedes (but does not stop) Illegal Immigration

Stepped Up Security at Border Impedes (but does not stop) Illegal Immigration

Deep in the Heart of Texas (Lone Star Press) - Heightened security efforts along the US/Mexico border by drone surveillance aircraft and National Guard troops (who are somewhat akin to the British Territorial Army) have caused illegal immigrants to r...
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Funny story: Politician admits to profiting from pain and suffering

Politician admits to profiting from pain and suffering

Warren Redlich, a 37 year old personal injury attorney, has announced his candidacy for the board of the virtually unknown town of Guilderland, NY.
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Funny story: Biotech International Offers Worlds Most Economical Pacemaker

Biotech International Offers Worlds Most Economical Pacemaker

Biotech International shocked the medical community by introducing the world's most economical heart regulating pacemaker today. Although a bit cumbersome by today's standards the astounding cost savings more than make up for the slight incon...
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Funny story: Media Harping Breeds New Species of Single-Issue Voter

Media Harping Breeds New Species of Single-Issue Voter

For some it's abortion. For others, gun control, the death penalty, the war in Iraq. For Washington state retiree Wade Holbrook, though, it's, well, haircut prices.
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Funny story: Lunkhead Ponders First Tattoo

Lunkhead Ponders First Tattoo

Joel Bracket, a stiflingly unintelligent Tight End on the Jesse Helms High School (Weevil, Ga.) football team announced yesterday to a locker room of bemused team-mates that he intended on getting his first tattoo next month.
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Funny story: Dr. John Mails in Another Performance of Right Place/Wrong Time

Dr. John Mails in Another Performance of Right Place/Wrong Time

Dr. John, New Orleans' most recognizable purveyor of palatable, watered-down jazz/funk/soul delivered what must have been his millionth rendition of Right Place/Wrong Time at some club somewhere last night.
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Funny story: OJ Simpson to Pen New Book

OJ Simpson to Pen New Book

OJ Simpson announced today his latest venture in the literary world. His sophomore effort, If Someone Else Did It, takes the infamous murders of Nicole Brown and Ron Goldman into uncharted waters.
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Funny story: Ted Kennedy: Immigratin' La Vida Loca

Ted Kennedy: Immigratin' La Vida Loca

It's ironic that Ted Kennedy has Fox News to credit for his latest career move.
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Funny story: Gay Porn Producer Struggles to Name Sicko-Inspired Parody

Gay Porn Producer Struggles to Name Sicko-Inspired Parody

Lance Turkwood, President and CEO of the Society of Homosexual Revelry In Motion Pictures (SHRIMP) is trying to determine the best title for his next film, a 60 minute, direct-to-DVD gay pornographic feature inspired by Michael Moore's health-car...
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Funny story: Special Olympics Logo Kicks Regular Olympics Logo's Ass

Special Olympics Logo Kicks Regular Olympics Logo's Ass

The recently unveiled 2012 London Olympics logo was put to the test Monday in a head-to-head competition with less ambitious but elegantly understated Special Olympics logo.
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Funny story: Bull Will Avenge Father's Death in San Fermín Festival

Bull Will Avenge Father's Death in San Fermín Festival

Every year, the San Fermín Festival in Pamplona, Spain brings hundreds of drunken Spaniards pressing their luck against angry bulls. The event involves hundreds of lunatics trying to outrun pissed-off bulls down a half mile stretch of cobbled street...
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Funny story: Maryland Man Sues Makers of Penis Enlargement Pill

Maryland Man Sues Makers of Penis Enlargement Pill

A Maryland man has filed a lawsuit against San Fernando Valley-based Pullulatez LLC, makers of the popular penis enlargement pill Extreme Elephantine. The suit states that Pullulatez claimed in "extremely convincing advertisements that their pil...
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Funny story: Angry C-Listers Take a Stand

Angry C-Listers Take a Stand

Inspired by the open letter to Hollywood Rob Schneider paid for in an issue of Variety, in which he vowed to never work with Mel Gibson because of Gibson's alleged anti-Semitic drunken rant, many not-so-prominent celebrities are telling movie ind...
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Funny story: Harold Bloom Melts Down in Front of Bewildered Harry Potter Crowd

Harold Bloom Melts Down in Front of Bewildered Harry Potter Crowd

According to witnesses, prominent literary and cultural critic Harold Bloom "snapped like a dry branch," in front of a New York bookstore, where legions of Harry Potter fans have been queueing up to purchase the latest Potter novel, Harry P...
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Funny story: Keith Jackson's Phone Sex Tapes Hit Internet

Keith Jackson's Phone Sex Tapes Hit Internet

It may not have the visual sexuality of the Pam Anderson and Tommy Lee sex tape, but a collection of long-time college football broadcaster Keith Jackson's answering machine messages to his wife, Turi Ann, has been making the rounds on various we...
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Funny story: From Today's Business Section

From Today's Business Section

Yesterday's welcoming meeting for a new member of the sales team at Peachbutt, Inc. was cancelled after four minutes due to poor staff behavior.
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Funny story: Pacman Jones Hits New Low

Pacman Jones Hits New Low

The news sent shockwaves through the NFL community and its fans.
View 'Pacman Jones Hits New Low'
Funny story: Latest Social Network, Faux Cooze, Launches With Unprecedented Candor

Latest Social Network, Faux Cooze, Launches With Unprecedented Candor

Gil Saperstein, a Brown University sophomore double majoring in international finance and art history, is rocking the online world with the launch of FauxCooze, a new social network that strips pretense from its member profiles and resulting interact...
View 'Latest Social Network, Faux Cooze, Launches With Unprecedented Candor'
Funny story: Cricket Drummer Eying Reunion with Buddy Holly

Cricket Drummer Eying Reunion with Buddy Holly

Former Cricket drummer and Matlock enthusiast Jerry Allison is ready to tour again with his former band-mate, Buddy Holly. Allison, a resident at Mendacity Springs Assisted Living in Lubbock, TX, has been busy firing up fellow residents in between ar...
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Funny story: NASA Recalls 147 Satellites

NASA Recalls 147 Satellites

Houston, Texas (IP) - NASA has recalled 147 satellites because of faulty kanooter valves. The Space Agency announced the shocking news at a press conference that was originally intended to focus attention on their successful teacher in space program...
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Funny story: Costa Rica To Confiscate Private Land

Costa Rica To Confiscate Private Land

San Carlos de su Madre, Costa Rica (IP) - The government of Costa Rica has informed U.S. citizens that the land they own in Costa Rica will become government property as of September 1. 2007. The reason given is that they are strapped for money becau...
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Funny story: Lottery Won by Five Southern Governors

Lottery Won by Five Southern Governors

Atlanta, Georgia (IP) - The Atlanta Post & Times is reporting that the governors of five different southern states have all won the lottery in their respective states this year. The list of states includes Florida, Georgia, Tennessee, North Carolina,...
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Funny story: Archaeologists Discover Scrolls With Jesus Full Name

Archaeologists Discover Scrolls With Jesus Full Name

Archaeologists digging near ancient Nazareth in Israel have uncovered scrolls that appear to be public records of the town. In them are Roman census data dating from about 20 A.D. that appear to include the names of the family of Jesus Christ.
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Funny story: Second Warren Commission Finds No Shooter Evidence at Grassy Knoll

Second Warren Commission Finds No Shooter Evidence at Grassy Knoll

When the original commission probed the JFK assassination in 1963, it was named for then Chief Justice of the Supreme Court, Earl Warren. This group found that Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone in the murder of the president, created the magic bullet th...
View 'Second Warren Commission Finds No Shooter Evidence at Grassy Knoll'
Funny story: Dublin Bollywood 'Oscars" in doubt as Hindu's are banned from city centre.

Dublin Bollywood 'Oscars" in doubt as Hindu's are banned from city centre.

Indian diplomats in Dublin reacted furiously today after Dublin City Councillor Ciaron Kennedy apparently announced on RTE Television that Hindu's are to be banned from Dublin city centre citing excessive drunkenness and foul and abusive language...
View 'Dublin Bollywood 'Oscars" in doubt as Hindu's are banned from city centre.'
Funny story: Rooney to be 'Humanely Destroyed'

Rooney to be 'Humanely Destroyed'

LONDON (Heewack News Network) -- Doctors said they are unable to save the foot of Manchester United striker Wayne Rooney, who was injured in last week's 0-0 draw with Reading. Team officials said Rooney may have to be "put down" this we...
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Funny story: UK Pensioner Becomes Oldest UFC Fighter

UK Pensioner Becomes Oldest UFC Fighter

FRINTON-ON-SEA (Defecated News) - In the quiet relaxed resort of Frinton, an average day rolls along. Arthritic ladies walk dogs, couples dine while talking about memories of the second war, and gentle tai chi classes run in the loca...
View 'UK Pensioner Becomes Oldest UFC Fighter'
Funny story: Tooth Fairy Arrested In Body Parts Scandal

Tooth Fairy Arrested In Body Parts Scandal

The FBI, in conjunction with Interpol, today arrested the Tooth Fairy in Baltimore, Maryland on charges of breaking and entering and illegally trafficking in body parts.
View 'Tooth Fairy Arrested In Body Parts Scandal'
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