LONDON (Defecated News) - The quiet leafy suburb of Northwood, Middlesex transformed into baby mayhem yesterday.
Toddlers at the Happy Angels Nursery came to blows after weeks of tension and arguments over new toys donated to them by a local benefactor. Retired businessman Pradeep Sandhu provided the nursery with a dozen new car driving toys.
"My kids had a great time at the nursery and I felt I should give something back, other than the £600 per month I had paid. Little did I know that the little shits would go totally spastic over them," Mr. Sandhu told us.
The problem started when the 35 children tries to 'share' the 12 new toys. With flashing indicators, gears to change, and a bright yellow steering wheel, it was hard for the children to remain composed and calm.
"At one stage, Thomas and Ellie were pulling at one toy and Ellie let go, falling back on her overfilled nappy. Thomas fell forward and cut his lip on the steering wheel." said nursery assistant Erika Danovic (19, brunette, slim, Polish, yummy...).
Ambulances and police were called. 14 children were taken to A&E with minor cuts and bruises, and seven children were arrested under anti-terror laws.
One onlooker noted the scene was reminiscent of mothers dropping their children at the nursery in the mornings.