Mephistopheles, Tennessee (IP) - The United States Post Office has decided to downsize their operations to save money and also will raise the price of its stamp. The price of the new stamp will be $47,350.
The Post Office will lay off all of its employees with the exception of one black and one white employee in order to save money. They would have only kept one employee but the Postal Employee's Union argued that would have been unbalanced and racist. One employee will be a male and the other female.
They will take turns performing the following jobs: Boss, postal inspector, mail sorter, mail clerk, Postmaster General, special delivery specialist, human resources director, risk management specialist, delivery route person, dock loader and unloader, mechanic, and janitor.
The move is being done because so many folks are now using email and there are not any more than 100,000 mail delivery customers left. The mail truck used for delivery will be one big one and the mail delivery person will carry 1,768 pounds of doggy bones to fend of Fido.