Las Vegas, Nevada (IP) - The Space Shuttle made an emergency landing at Las Vegas International Airport this morning at 0300 hours UTC. The problem which precipitated the unscheduled landing was a lack of alcohol required by some of the members of the shuttle team for scientific and medicinal purposes.
An awaiting black SUV whisked the crew away into the darkness. Their first stop was at a casino where two of the astronauts became active experimenting with some of the slot machines while the rest of the crew made some phone calls.
Later they were taken to a alcohol beverage control facility (known in laymen's terms as a liquor store) where they picked up some mysterious boxes full of bottles related to their experiments.
One last stop was made at an all night drug store where some adult diapers and other essentials were picked up and then the crew returned to the airport where the shuttle had been refueled and was ready for its return flight into orbit.
The astronauts had chosen the latest teacher in space as their designated driver and all returned safely into orbit without mishap or delay.