Sinéad O'Connor Has Grown A Muslim Beard
Sinéad O'Connor, the Irish singer who recently renounced everything about herself, and then converted to Islam, has grown a Muslim-style beard. Beards amongst Muslim men are requisite, defining 'manliness', and are seen as imitating Muhammad, but...
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Sinéad O'Connor Rejected By Islam
Sinéad O'Connor, the controversial and attention-seeking Irish singer, who has converted to Islam, and said that she no longer wants to live amongst white people 'as long as she lives', has been told to go and fuck herself by Muslims. O'Connor -...
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The Osmonds Christmas Single Out Next Week
The Osmonds, the flamboyant family pop group from the 1970s, who had scores of hits such as 'Crazy Horses' in 1972, are to release their new Christmas single next week, albeit it a little later than traditional festive releases. The band, which is...
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Scientists Conclude the Soul is Composed of Dark Matter
Scientists, today, announced they believe they have solved the longest standing problem in human history. Unsure why they never thought of this before, they reticently admitted that the idea of something so undetectable and frankly impossible as Dark...
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Did Jesus Wear Socks and Sandals, or Did He Paint His Toenails?
It's the ultimate fashion faux pas, of course, but did the Lamb of God wear socks with his sandals? Was that part of the reason that Pontius Pilate agreed to crucify our saviour? What do you think? It's possible, as Nazareth's average January temper...
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Muslim Call To Prayer Sounded Like Man Was In Agony
Religious officials at a local Muslim mosque have denied that any of their congregation was sick, poorly, ill, in pain, unwell, or being tortured, after an unnamed source reported that he heard a man wailing 'endlessly' during the early hours of this...
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Crystal Meth-odist Church of God busted in North Carolina!
Creationist archaeologists discover proof of God
Bettany Hughes Admirers Warn Off Frustrated Alice Roberts Fans
Atheists Announce Santa Alternative. Godless Joe Will "Amuse and Delight."
Planet Dracon on the verge of war
Northern Line at rush hour revealed as Dante's tenth circle of hell
Ramadan Under Threat, As Muslims Seen Nibbling On Snacks During The Daytime
Theodore McCarrick Hopes There Is No God
Millions of Muslims Prostrate Themselves Toward Mecca Without a Single Visible Crack! US Plumbers et al, Take Note!
Buddhist Chanting Got On Man's Wick
Muslim-Mormon Rap Fusion Duo Make Their First $1bn
Islamic Sharia Law Would Make Luton England's Capital
Satan Objects to Being Demonized by Catholic Church
"I may not have the greatest reputation," said Satan, "but when my name is mentioned, do you immediately think 'pedophilia'? Of course not! And to think the Catholic Church is trying to demonize me." Hurt by its fateful decision to limit the Trini...
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Tommy Robinson Converts To Islam
In a move which has startled many of his most committed followers on Facebook, the activist and political operative, Tommy Robinson, has announced he has converted to Islam. Robinson, also known as Andrew McMaster, Paul Harris, Wayne King, and Ste...
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Psychiatry Deemed a Religion in New Study
Researchers at Jakarta's renowned Hebrew University recently published a study conclusively proving that Psychiatry should be classified as a religion. The study consisted of a study of Psychiatric textbooks and journals (which will now be known as s...
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Woman's Nipples Mistaken For 'Chapel Hat Pegs'
Confusion reigned supreme at a church in Oxfordshire at the weekend, when members of a congregation inadvertently mistook the enormous swollen nipples of voluptuous Carol Forderman for 'chapel hat pegs', and hung their coats on them! Carol, 43, ha...
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Creation Scientists Teaching Snakes to Talk
Having definitively proven the scientific accuracy of the first two chapters of Genesis, researchers Christian Fisch and Ina Diaz of Liberty University are well into a research program designed to validate the accuracy of chapter three. "Even the secular evolutionists know that snakes have vestigial hip bones", declared Dr. Fisch. "This proves that they were capable of walking on two or four l...
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Jesus Christ Returns to Earth; As Second Coming Actually Occurs, TV Evangelists Offer Insight
Jesus Christ, founder of the Christian religion and son of the monotheistic deity Yahweh, returned to Earth as promised last Tuesday morning. He quickly held a press conference which was broadcast live from New York City to "set the record strai...
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Yorkshire Psalms: Psalm 23
'Em Lord is us shepherd; us shall not lack. 'E shall make us to be lyin' down in all 'em pastures green, aye lad; 'e is leadin' at me beside all 'em still waters, oo eck! 'E has been revivin' at us Northern Souls; 'im guides me in all them paths of rahteousness for 'is name's sake 'n' that. Aye, though I shall be walkin' through 'em valley of that shadow of death, as it were; I shall not...
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Faith Healing Rebrands as Holistic Health Remedy
Turning around a near-century-long slump in new customer acquisitions, proponents of healing via faith, prayer, and the laying of hands have successfully rebranded their variety of spiritual ministration as a holistic health remedy. "There's no re...
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Hell Becoming Increasingly Uninhabitable Due to Climate Change
While never pleasant, climate experts report that hell is becoming all but uninhabitable due to global warming. "People there are having an even tougher time than usual," said underworld reporter David Cohan. "Poor souls!" Cohan stated, too, th...
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Organizers Secretly Relieved that No One Smited during Nashville Atheist Convention
Wrapping up another highly successful annual atheist convention in Nashville, Tennessee, which brought together atheists, skeptics, humanists, and those "recovering from religion," conference organizers Hal Jenkins snd Gayle Fleming secretly breathe...
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Ireland Declares War On The Vatican
Paddy McSodabread, the Irish state Emperor, this morning declared war with the Vatican city after demands for retribution from the Catholic community prompted decisive and swift action from their government. The Pope responded to the declaration o...
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Jesus Christ Wants U.S. To Deport The Undocumented
Senator Ted Crap (R-TX) this week has called President Obama a "dictator" and GOP House Speaker Boner termed him an "emperor" over his executive order to shield 4 million undocumented immigrants from deportation. Senator Crap said that Obama is "J...
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Planned Auction of Jesus Crucifixion Nails upset Christians, NRA
The National Rifle Association and the Christian Coalition have expressed outrage and organized a string of demonstrations outside the home of retired Governor of Rome, Pontus Pilate. Gov. Pilate has drawn the ire of conservative groups because of re...
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Animal Farm, Part 7: Welcome to Napoleon Farm
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Athisis goddess statue removed in Bangore after Jaboody outcry
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Ramadan: Thank God It's Over, Say Muslims
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Are You Fit for the Cross? Nashville Church Launches Christian CrossFit
