Religion Spoof News

18 May 2022

Sinéad O'Connor Rejected By Islam

Sinéad O'Connor, the controversial and attention-seeking Irish singer, who has converted to Islam, and said that she no longer wants to live amongst white people 'as long as she lives', has been told to go and fuck herself by Muslims. O'Connor -...

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Sinéad O'Connor Has Grown A Muslim Beard

Sinéad O'Connor, the Irish singer who recently renounced everything about herself, and then converted to Islam, has grown a Muslim-style beard. Beards amongst Muslim men are requisite, defining 'manliness', and are seen as imitating Muhammad, but...

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Miraculously, Televangelist Joyce Meyer Gives Birth at Age 71

Fenton, MO--In what many of her followers are calling a miracle, televangelist Joyce Meyer on Tuesday gave birth at the age of 71. The wildly successful televangelist from Missouri reportedly gave birth to a two thousand pound cash cow at St. Clare...

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Did Jesus Wear Socks and Sandals, or Did He Paint His Toenails?

It's the ultimate fashion faux pas, of course, but did the Lamb of God wear socks with his sandals? Was that part of the reason that Pontius Pilate agreed to crucify our saviour? What do you think? It's possible, as Nazareth's average January temper...

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God Suffers with Mental Health; Becomes Atheist

Vatican - On Wednesday Pope Francis made a shocking statement of God's mental health. "I just don't believe in myself anymore." God is rumored to have said to his therapist. In addition to his recent self doubt God has been suffering with an…

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Woman's Nipples Mistaken For 'Chapel Hat Pegs'

Confusion reigned supreme at a church in Oxfordshire at the weekend, when members of a congregation inadvertently mistook the enormous swollen nipples of voluptuous Carol Forderman for 'chapel hat pegs', and hung their coats on them! Carol, 43, ha...

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God Admits to Being a Codependent

Upper class ministry reaches out to foreign poor

Half of Britons Do Not Believe in Evolution; The Other Half Worship Aslan the Creator Lion

God Says Jesus Upset His Birthday To Be Played Down This Year

Vatican to Release New Bible in Modernized Latin

Hajj Gets Under Way Amidst Calls For "No Crushing"

God apologizes for massive loss of life

Buddhist Admits Present Moment Not So Great

Ratzinger tax records 'were spied on'

Bettany Hughes Admirers Warn Off Frustrated Alice Roberts Fans

Yorkshire Psalms: Psalm 23

Arabic Porno Magazine Goes On Sale From Today

Scientists Conclude the Soul is Composed of Dark Matter

Scientists, today, announced they believe they have solved the longest standing problem in human history. Unsure why they never thought of this before, they reticently admitted that the idea of something so undetectable and frankly impossible as Dark...

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Pancake Day History Remembered

Well, it's here once more: Pancake Day, the day we all ask Mum to dust down her cooking utensils, and flip us a pancake or two so that we can all enjoy a treat and remember why it is we all eat pancakes in the first place. Pancakes were first flip...

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Mississippi Closes Public Schools

Jackson, MS - The state of Mississippi has closed all public schools. Students in grades PreK through 12 must now attend private, religious schools or not attend school at all. “It doesn’t much matter to us,” said state education commissioner Edwa…

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Barack Obama Discovers Fat Man In Filthy Robe In His Kitchen

It's a well-known fact that celebrity always has its negative side, usually in the form of 'privacy issues, and that was the case this week with ex-President Barack Obama, who came downstairs to prepare breakfast on Saturday morning to find an intrud…

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Church Of England Draws The Line At Fetish Vicars

The Church Of England, one of the most liberal-progressive religious institutions in the world has finally had enough. 'We've been lobbied to give our blessing to these so called 'fetish vicars' but we find this unacceptable,' said the Archbishop...

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LGBT Opens Worship City to Help Humanity

The LGBT organization is to create a religious mecca for Lesbians, Gays, Bisexuals, Transgenders, and liberal Straight people, in San Francisco, named Worship City. "We created the center out of necessity after being rejected by other religious insti…

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Alabama Legalizes Rape

In a landmark ruling that is sure to have a knock-on effect all across the country, and possibly the world, the state of Alabama legislature today passed a new law that makes it now completely legal to have sex with a woman, even if it is against her…

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No Heaven?!? No Hell?!? No S@#%!!! - Oh Well, 2 Out Of 3 Ain't Bad No Matter How Far You Step In It

ALGONAC, MICHIGAN - As usual, Rev. Billy Dog Bobdog had plenty to tell his flock of perpetually attentive like-minded loyalists otherwise assembled, more or less, peaceably at Saturday night's flashlight lit services at the Divine Child Church of Rig...

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Naked Spears Mum as Rabbi Reverses Mormon Baptism of Dead Jews

WASHINGTON, DC -- Rabbi Jacob Baer stood before his congregation at Temple Sinai on Military Road yesterday morning, poised to perform a ritual that he had perfected just hours before. On a long table before him were a silver bowl, a small dark blue...

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Buddhist Chanting Got On Man's Wick

Prolonged Buddhist chanting over a 3-day period because of a funeral, got on the nerves of one man so much, he considered going to the nearby temple and burning it down. The man, whose identity must be guarded to avoid any repercussions, awoke on...

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Psychiatry Deemed a Religion in New Study

Researchers at Jakarta's renowned Hebrew University recently published a study conclusively proving that Psychiatry should be classified as a religion. The study consisted of a study of Psychiatric textbooks and journals (which will now be known as s...

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Tommy Robinson Converts To Islam

In a move which has startled many of his most committed followers on Facebook, the activist and political operative, Tommy Robinson, has announced he has converted to Islam. Robinson, also known as Andrew McMaster, Paul Harris, Wayne King, and Ste...

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Ireland Declares War On The Vatican

Paddy McSodabread, the Irish state Emperor, this morning declared war with the Vatican city after demands for retribution from the Catholic community prompted decisive and swift action from their government. The Pope responded to the declaration o...

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Ramadan: Thank God It's Over, Say Muslims

Ramadan, the month of Muslim daylight fasting, when followers of the Islamic faith cannot eat, drink, smoke, have sex, or indulge in 'sinful behavior' until the sun sets, is finally at an end, and "thank goodness for that!" say Muslims the world over...

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