Dead Sea Scrolls reveal ancient diet plan

Funny story written by Jack Battler

Tuesday, 24 July 2007

image for Dead Sea Scrolls reveal ancient diet plan
New Dead Sea Diet revealed.

SAN DIEGO - Curators at a Southern California museum have announced an unusual discovery involving a visiting exhibition of the Dead Sea Scrolls. A mistake made by workers setting up a display of the millennia-old documents resulted in some of the scrolls being displayed upside down and resulting in a fantastic realization by attending scholars.

"While viewing the scrolls in the inverted position we discovered that the translation of the writing reveals some kind of guide to healthy eating, caloric intake recommendations and a rough written outline of the food pyramid," said Sandra Dune, PhD.

"The amazing thing is the amount of detail included and how contemporary it all seems," she continued. "It appears that what we eat; how much we eat, has been on the human mind for a very long time. The "Dead Sea Diet," as we are dubbing it, calls for a very moderate amount of dietary fat and lots of grains and vegetables. In many ways it's not much different from what modern nutritionists have come to recommend."

Dune adds that even ancient peoples would have wanted to look slim and sexy.

"Well, it only makes sense if you think about it," Dune said. "Some of the best selling books today are diet plans so why should ancient peoples have been any different? You don't see many fat mummies, do you?"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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