Baby Didn't Want To Be Born

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Wednesday, 2 September 2020

image for Baby Didn't Want To Be Born
The baby remonstrating with a nurse, soon after being born

A baby that has hardly ever stopped crying for all it's worth since it first made its appearance in the world in June, probably didn't want to born, it's been claimed.

The baby, a boy who was the subject of an earlier report, has cried, wept, sobbed, hollered, bawled and screamed ever since Day One, leading locals to ponder just why he won't shut the fuck up, and get on with his life.

A neighbor said:

"Well, the mother is as skinny as a bamboo stalk. Her milk's probably no good."

Another said it was the constant noise from the busy traffic, coupled with other residents' love of playing music very loud, disturbing his sleep.

An old hag who tends to think she is a bit of a shaman, and can 'feel things' from other planes of existence, said:

"It's not that, at all. His spirit has been born into this body against his will, which is very strong. In its former life, this spirit would have belonged to a very rich person, or a member of a high-ranking or prominent family, and, although it loved life, it was looking forward to a decent rest before coming into the world again. It's not happy; it didn't want to be born."

There were a few nervous glances amidst total silence.

Then, a foreign man who lives in the area, said:

"He probably doesn't like all that Buddhist chanting and wailing that comes from the temple. I know it scares the shit out of me!"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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