Jesus and The Disciples Planning a Comeback Tour

Funny story written by tishtosh

Saturday, 7 June 2008

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Jesus Christ has risen again in order to carry on his work for the salvation of Mankind.

Jesus retired two thousand years ago but he has now come out of retirement, much to the cheers of his fans.

"There's only so much harp playing a boy can do" said Jesus, in in typical Brummy accent. " I've been toying with the idea of another resurrection for a few years now and i really believe that Jesus and the Disciples can make this planet rock!"

Jesus and his Disciples kick off with a tour of the UK starting in Manchester on 11th July.
One band member who is noticeably lacking is Thomas. " He had his doubts about a second resurrection so he has chosen to stay behind in Heaven" said Luke. "He wishes us well for the future".

Judas Iscariot is, surprisingly, back with the Disciples having penned a heavy rock parable entitled "Dirty Thirty", a story with heavy reference to the thirty pieces of silver he received in payment for betraying Jesus two thousand years ago.

Me and Jesus are ok now" said Judas. "A lot of water has passed under the bridge since then. Jesus rocks."

Simon Cowell is rumoured to be trying to tie up the boys with a lucrative contract as well as working on a new T.V programme which will run auditions for the new twelfth disciple following the demise of Thomas.

The show is to be called "Make Me a Disciple".

"Its a great opportunity for someone" said Cowell. "A once in a lifetime opportunity for someone to gain everlasting life. I'm looking for someone who fits the bill. Think John Lennon, think Jackanory and you get the picture."

The successful contestant will debut on the Disciples forthcoming album "Happy Sandals".

The Vatican are not too impressed with the planned Resurrection. An insider told us " Who does this Jesus bloke think he is? We've been running the Church for the past two thousand years and this upstart comes along rocking the apple cart. The Pope's furious!"

Watch this space....

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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