Ulvalde Police Leaders, Afraid of Being Injured, Could Not Confront Gunman
Ulvalde police leaders at the site did not want their 19 officers to get injured, so could not storm the building. “We assumed the kids were dead already, so why risk officers’ lives?” “These officers are very expensive to replace and have wive…
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Hunter Thompson Suicide Note Found
ASPEN - Hunter S. Thompson, who fatally shot himself at his Colorado home Sunday night, left behind a 352-page suicide note, say Aspen police. According to the note, which will be published in book form by Rolling Stone early next week, Thomps...
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Yardies Gangs Get Tough Love From Tough Babies
In the never ending fight against the drug trafficking, shootings and general brutalities of Yardie crime gangs, police are now facing the fact that lawful tactics have failed. This has led to the formation of a vigilante gang of tough tattooed infan...
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El Chapo's Sons in Gun Battle During 'Take Your Child to Work Day'
Joaquin "El Chapo" Guzman was spotted beaming with pride yesterday, when his four sons fought an hours-long gun battle with Mexican police during the annual 'Take Your Child To Work Day'. The gun battle left 13 people dead and scores injured, in Sin...
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New Orleans Police Release "Cops Gone Wild!" Video
Jefferson Parish -- Those fun-lovin' New Orleans Police have figured out a way to make crime pay -- not with kickbacks, or corruption, but with a "Cops Gone Wild!" video showing clips of suspects being beaten, reporters being threatened...
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Free 'Bong Hits 4 Jesus' bumper stickers annoy drivers
In a wave of vandalism stretching across dozens of states, "Bong Hits 4 Jesus" stickers have begun to appear on cars and other private property.
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Pakistani Baby Charged With Assault
Pilot for new TV show "Methbusters" ends in disaster
Boris Johnson Has Fucking Big Row With Girlfriend
Trump Issues Executive Order Forming "The Comedy Police"
Snatch Clapping Outlawed In Grimsby
Michael Jackson Court Ruling
Early on, Planet Earth looked like a giant jelly doughnut, scientists theorize
London City Gent Arrested For Sexual Harassment, After Tipping His Hat To Woman
Police find 100,000 barrels of oil in George Galloway's spare bedroom
Police Swoop on Home of English Literature Professor
Prince Philip Arrested Again
Arrest Incident Spurs Copycat Crime Wave!
'Heartless' thief steals Disability Scooter
A heartless thief broke into the property of locally named Spack McCrackin, in Cradley Heath, West Midlands, and 'fled' on the £2,000 machine. Det Con Stirling Moss said: "This is a very upsetting case as one person's thoughtless crime as left the...
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Isle of Wight Citizens given Diplomatic Immunity
Following a debate that ran into the early hours of this morning, the Isle of Wight Council has narrowly voted in favour of granting all residents of the Island diplomatic immunity. The surprise move comes after a recent report by the Association of...
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Paranoid Cop Falsely Accuses Booger Slinger
As police across the fruited plain are being squirted with water pistols and “deloused” with buckets of water, many members of the so-called “thin blue line” have become paranoid. A Marion County, Indiana, officer, Dee Jay, who asked to remain ano...
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Another top cop suicide
Snowdonia, Wales - (Rioters): Yet another top UK cop has been found dead just 24 hours after Sergeant Jim Bergerac, Camilla's head of security, was found fatally injured with multiple gunshot wounds to his wallet, head and chest.
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Drunk Tom Hanks Ruins Hill Family Reunion
Decatur, GA - Decatur Police were called to the Oglethorpe State Park on Sunday in response to a disruption of the peace call. Upon arriving at the scene of the call, officers were shocked by what they found.
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Well-Endowed Bikini Mom Kicked Out of A Water Park For Being Too Voluptuously Sexy!
INDEPENDENCE, Missouri - A 42-year-old woman identified as Madeline Schaffer took her 14-year-old daughter to The Shiver Me Timbers Water Park in Independence. Schaffer said that she and her little girl were having a fantastic time when all of a s...
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Check out anything you've missed with the archive:
Nottingham News for W/E: 6th May 2012
Sunday 29th April 2012 Topic: Development - Asda "Asda plans to regenerate derelict site in St Ann's, Nottingham" Source: BBC News Extract: Plans to build a supermarket and homes in a "run-down" area of Nottingham are to go on public display. Asda has earmarked a site on Carlton Road in St Ann's for the store, which it said could create 200 jobs. The company said the store, which...
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Schmidt & Weissen to produce bidirectional pistol
Schmidt & Weissen, a major gun manufacturer in the US, is developing a bidirectional pistol. Paul Gant of Schmidt & Weissen says, "This is the only gun I'd recommend to scumbags and known gang members." The police have mixed feelings about...
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Police, Rescue Respond to Unusual Kidnapping
Denver, CO [PP] -- Police and paramedics responded to what had to be their most unusual kidnapping case. A man who had not opened his refrigerator door in more than two years had the shock of his life. When he finally got around to opening the refrig...
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Mayor of Vancouver apologises after retired black Judge handcuffed and arrested in case of mistaken identity
A well-loved 81-year black Supreme Court Judge is the latest in a series of totally innocent people of colour arrested or beaten by North American police. Selwyn Romilly, who was the first black appointee to the British Columbia Supreme Court, wa…
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A 96-Year-Old Woman Is Caught Trying To Steal a 19-Foot Christmas Tree From Walmart
MOBILE, Alabama - (Satire News) - It’s hard to believe that national retail stores such as Dilly Dally, Lollygag, and Walmart are already starting to sell Christmas items such as ornaments, wreaths, Christmas Ramen, and of course Christmas trees.
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Sir Topham Hatt sought by London police for deviant porn distribution
Sir Topham Hatt from the beloved children's show 'Thomas the Tank Engine' is reportedly on the run from the law this morning after it was learned he's at the center of a vast, 20+ year "deviant pornography" ring. Sir Hatt was questioned last year…
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White Police Officer Almost Doesn't Shoot Handcuffed Unarmed Black Man
A Georgia state law enforcement officer was commended for following procedure during a routine traffic stop that nearly turned tragic earlier this week. Deputy Jason Hancock continued police department tradition of shooting unarmed black men, but...
Read full storyFunny Police Headlines
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Yardies Gangs Get Tough Love From Tough Babies
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Iraqis Find New Jobs in Florida
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New Orleans Police Release "Cops Gone Wild!" Video
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Nottingham News for W/E: 6th May 2012
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'Heartless' thief steals Disability Scooter
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Paranoid Cop Falsely Accuses Booger Slinger
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Sir Topham Hatt sought by London police for deviant porn distribution
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Mayor of Vancouver apologises after retired black Judge handcuffed and arrested in case of mistaken identity
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A 96-Year-Old Woman Is Caught Trying To Steal a 19-Foot Christmas Tree From Walmart
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Ulvalde Police Leaders, Afraid of Being Injured, Could Not Confront Gunman
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Drunk Tom Hanks Ruins Hill Family Reunion
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Hunter Thompson Suicide Note Found
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Free 'Bong Hits 4 Jesus' bumper stickers annoy drivers
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Another top cop suicide
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Isle of Wight Citizens given Diplomatic Immunity
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Well-Endowed Bikini Mom Kicked Out of A Water Park For Being Too Voluptuously Sexy!
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White Police Officer Almost Doesn't Shoot Handcuffed Unarmed Black Man
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Police, Rescue Respond to Unusual Kidnapping
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Schmidt & Weissen to produce bidirectional pistol
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El Chapo's Sons in Gun Battle During 'Take Your Child to Work Day'
