Funny story: Harry Maguire Implicated In Huge Betting Scandal

Harry Maguire Implicated In Huge Betting Scandal

Police are looking into a huge betting scandal in the wake of the England football team's 5-3 victory over Kosovo in Southampton last night, with central defender Harry Maguire being the focus of their investigation. Maguire, it was, who dithered...

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Funny story: Hunter Thompson Suicide Note Found

Hunter Thompson Suicide Note Found

ASPEN - Hunter S. Thompson, who fatally shot himself at his Colorado home Sunday night, left behind a 352-page suicide note, say Aspen police. According to the note, which will be published in book form by Rolling Stone early next week, Thomps...

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Funny story: Police Apologise for "Upsetting" Description of Man's Genitals

Police Apologise for "Upsetting" Description of Man's Genitals

North Yorkshire Police have apologised for providing "too much detail" in a description of a man who performed a sex act in front of a woman in York. The force had said it was looking for a "fat, naked man" and described his sexual organs explicitly...

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Funny story: Young Black Male Wanted for Unspeakable Sex Crimes

Young Black Male Wanted for Unspeakable Sex Crimes

The New York City Police Department is asking for the public's assistance in apprehending a medium- to dark-skinned black male between the ages of 17 and 25, who is wanted in the New York City area for questioning in regard to unspeakable alleged sex...

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Funny story: Schmidt & Weissen to produce bidirectional pistol

Schmidt & Weissen to produce bidirectional pistol

Schmidt & Weissen, a major gun manufacturer in the US, is developing a bidirectional pistol. Paul Gant of Schmidt & Weissen says, "This is the only gun I'd recommend to scumbags and known gang members." The police have mixed feelings about...

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Funny story: "It Wasn't Me!", Said Girl

"It Wasn't Me!", Said Girl

A filthy young New York streetgirl accused of stealing and eating some chocolate from a shop, has claimed she wasn't responsible, despite the evidence still being all over her face. The grotty urchin, who looked about 5 years old, was interviewed...

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Funny story: Police Shoot, Kill, Nude Pregnant Woman

Police Shoot, Kill, Nude Pregnant Woman

An uneasy feeling permeated the squad room as half a dozen or so officers waited for Chief Backoff's appearance. They knew the Chief's reprimand would be harsh, biting and very personal. After all, the shooting of a nude woman had never occurred here before. And two of the three cops who pulled the triggers were in the room. Abruptly the squad room door banged open and Chief Backoff barreled i...

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Funny story: Chief Inspector Derek Conway character in ITV's "The Bill" in tatters

Chief Inspector Derek Conway character in ITV's "The Bill" in tatters

The triumphant return from the dead of Chief Inspector Derek Conway in ITV's "The Bill" has been ruined by the political shenanigans of his political namesake, Conservative MP Derek Conway.

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Funny story: Police Taser use Doubles - Call of duty blamed

Police Taser use Doubles - Call of duty blamed

British bobbies were under the spotlight today as it was revealed that the use of Tasers in incidents almost doubles with every release of Call of Duty. The shock trends were uncovered by using the freedom of information act and asking some kids nick...

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Funny story: Left Wingers To Help NRA & Gun Makers

Left Wingers To Help NRA & Gun Makers

CHICAGO TRIBUNE AP -- Since the November election gun sales, which more than doubled under Obama, have been dropping sharply, because of lessened fears that the government will take away the assault rifles and other armaments we need to protect...

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Funny story: Corrupt Cops Copping Their Karma

Corrupt Cops Copping Their Karma

Reading comments after Yahoo articles are, at best, a good way to while away time in need of being wasted or in bringing your blood pressure to near hospitalization levels. Usually it is just full of mudslinging and name calling from one side of the the fence to the other with the other side retaliating shortly thereafter. On occasion, rare occasion that is, it does serve up a few comments and sto...

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Funny story: Ronald McDonald Arrested!

Ronald McDonald Arrested!

McDonalds frontman Ronald McDonald was arrested today after police caught him in the middle of a lewd act in the toilet of a McDonalds restaurant.

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Funny story: Tooth fairy suspended pending police checks

Tooth fairy suspended pending police checks

Children losing teeth will find no money under their pillows for many weeks as the government has ordered the tooth fairy to undergo police background checks before she can continue working with children. "Employees of all government funded organi...

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Funny story: Half Dozen Spy Groups Will Determine How You Vote

Half Dozen Spy Groups Will Determine How You Vote

With all the information being collected for every individual in the United States, you may not have to bother voting anymore as someone with your records will vote for you. Should you decide to go vote anyway, be warned ahead of time that you cou...

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Funny story: Alleged man allegedly arrested for alleged crime

Alleged man allegedly arrested for alleged crime

Richard Puttup-Yur Dukes, allegedly an All-Tuna, Pennsylvania, man was allegedly arrested for alleged cruelty to animals after he allegedly punched a police officer in the face. The officer was allegedly responding to a call concerning Dukes's all...

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Funny story: Cat Fax Fever

Cat Fax Fever

An assassination attempt, in the city of Kobe in Japan, was foiled recently by the quick actions of local police, fire, and animal control officials. It seems two small kittens, perhaps outraged by the commonplace use of cat meat in Japanese cuisine...

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Funny story: Boris Johnson Has Fucking Big Row With Girlfriend

Boris Johnson Has Fucking Big Row With Girlfriend

The new Tory leader-elect, Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson, has had a steaming, great fucking row with his girlfriend, Carrie Symonds, at her London home, say neighbours. Johnson and Symonds were said to be arguing like 'cat and dog' during the...

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Funny story: Freed foreign criminals on the run crisis: deportation looms

Freed foreign criminals on the run crisis: deportation looms

London, Saturday 29 April 2006, (Associated Mess): The Metropolitan Police has confirmed today that it is about to take drastic action on the fiasco of missing foreign ex-prisoners on the run who have so far escaped deportation. And top of their...

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Funny story: End of Whoop & Wail

End of Whoop & Wail

Congress has passed a bill which will standardize the siren tones used by emergency services across the county for the first time. Rather than use the common Whoop and Wail style siren, a two-tone siren similar to the old sirens used in the UK and p...

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Funny story: Thought Police Vaporize 1984

Thought Police Vaporize 1984

When Justin Gawronski of Michigan recently turned on his Kindle 2, he was shocked to see the digital copy of George Orwell's "1984" he purchased vanish before his eyes along with all of the notes he took regarding the dangers of totalitarianism. "...

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