At Swindon magistrates court today, PC Harverson gave evidence he’d stopped Mr Brendan O’Lox driving his car to inform him his lights weren’t working.
“The defendant said, ‘Thanks, but it’s not my car. I’ve just stolen it. Can I get the lights fixed tomorrow?’.”
“I arrested Mr. O’Lox and asked where he’d stolen the car. He replied, ‘I don’t know. I don’t usually steal cars from Swindon. I’m from Bristol. I’m a bit lost, but if you give me directions I’ll drive us to the police station.’”
Mr. O’Lox informed PC Harverson, “Actually, I stole a car from Bristol to get to Newbury court, as I’m up for car theft. I stopped to get food, and some bugger nicked it. Shall I report it as stolen? But I still needed to get to Newbury, so I nicked another. Do you like it? Hop in. Where’s the police station?”
PC Harverson continued, “I saw a bag of mobile phones on the seat and Mr O’Lox said: ‘Don’t sit there, I nicked them from Bristol for a guy in Newbury, to pay for my court fine. And I’ve got some E’s and Blow, and all sorts of pills. What’s the food like at your police station? Is there a vegetarian option?’”
“I informed Mr O’Lox, ‘If you stop admitting things and annoying me, you can drive,’ and he replied, ‘OK. Great! No, I can’t, I don’t have a driving licence.’”
Apparently, Mr O’Lox didn’t get a vegetarian option.
