Lindsay Lohan Says Cocaine Was Not Mine To Police

Funny story written by Jalapenoman

Thursday, 26 July 2007

image for Lindsay Lohan Says Cocaine Was Not Mine To Police
A tearful Lindsay said that this was not her bag of drugs

Lindsay Lohan, stopped for a D.W.I. and for chasing another car, denied that the baggie of cocaine found in her pants pocket belonged to her. "The coke wasn't mine," said a tearful starlet to investigating officers. "I'm not sure how it got into the pocket of the pants I was wearing."

Lindsay further stated that "this cocaine was in one of those yellow and blue make green ziploc bags. I always keep mine in one of the Glad One-Zips. It's the wrong kind of bag, see!"

When asked how the drugs could have gotten into her pants, she answered that "they're not even my pants. When I woke up after the party in the motel room with everyone, I just picked up a pair that fit and put them on. I can prove they're not mine because these also had a French Tickler in the pocket and I only let my guys use the bubble gum flavored ones."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more