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Cat Attack Caught On Video

Funny story: Cat Attack Caught On Video

A series of incidents in Denver involving a seemingly deranged cat is a step nearer to being solved tonight, after yet another unprovoked attack on a young child was caught on video. The cat, a black one, apparently lays in wait in bushes or long...

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Trump Issues Executive Order Forming "The Comedy Police"

Funny story: Trump Issues Executive Order Forming "The Comedy Police"

President Trump today went before the cameras in the White House to announce a new police strike force. He claims its main purpose will be to defend him against collusion between the left and SNL. "Today I'm taking action against factions who wou...

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Jussie Smollett claims he was assaulted by Chicago PD

Funny story: Jussie Smollett claims he was assaulted by Chicago PD

Chicago, IL - Jussie Smollett, the disgraced ‘Empire’ actor, has now claimed that while he was in Chicago PD custody, he was brutally assaulted and left smelling of hazelnuts. Smollett was released on $100,000.00 bail and immediately related hi...

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Police Car Chase Was Strictly In Accordance With Traffic Laws

Funny story: Police Car Chase Was Strictly In Accordance With Traffic Laws

A police car involved in a daring high-speed chase with another car that had been stolen by criminals last night, was driven completely in accordance with the rules of the road, as specified within the UK Traffic Laws. The 'chase', in Peckham, Lon...

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Liam Neeson Quits Acting To Join Police

Funny story: Liam Neeson Quits Acting To Join Police

Liam Neeson, the Hollywood actor superstar, the veteran of more than a hundred movies, and Oscar-nominee for his latest film 'Cold Pursuit', has announced his intention to quit the silver screen, and to join the police force. Neeson, 66, said that...

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Man has sex sessions with own wife

Police are probing the alleged cover-up of a man suspected of having sex with his own wife for more than thirty years. Special constables have received reports that Mr James Rum P. Pumpi, 53, and his wife Edith Rum P. Pumpi, 51, from Carlisle, ha...

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London City Gent Arrested For Sexual Harassment, After Tipping His Hat To Woman

Funny story: London City Gent Arrested For Sexual Harassment, After Tipping His Hat To Woman

A city gent in a pin-striped suit and a bowler hat, carrying a walking-stick, has been accused of sexual harassment, after he tipped his hat to a woman in a London street. Thomas Middleton-Markham, 56, of city stockbroker firm Grabbit and Quickly,...

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Racial Filing Suspected in Cardiac Arrests

Funny story: Racial Filing Suspected in Cardiac Arrests

Highlighting the dramatically higher incidents of cardiac arrest among African-Americans, a report published by the ACLU posits that racial profiling may be at play - specifically, the ACLU speculates that police officers are disproportionately targe...

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Prince Philip Arrested Again

Funny story: Prince Philip Arrested Again

The troublesome Duke of Edinburgh has been arrested just two days after rolling his Land Rover in a Norfolk road accident - this time for not wearing a seat belt. Prince Philip, 97, was out gadding-about again after Thursday's smash, when he was s...

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Santa Claus Implicated In Drone Row

Funny story: Santa Claus Implicated In Drone Row

Santa Claus and his reindeers are the latest suspects in the Gatwick Airport Drone Row that threatens to drag on and on and on and on and on, simply because the inept British police force haven't got a clue as to how to root out the amateur flyers re...

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Russia Is Behind Gatwick Drones

Funny story: Russia Is Behind Gatwick Drones

The police investigation into the unauthorised drone activity at Gatwick Airport went 'two steps back' today, when a man and a woman arrested on Saturday were released without charge. Russia has emerged as the new suspect. The drone, which was...

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Police Apologise for "Upsetting" Description of Man's Genitals

Funny story: Police Apologise for "Upsetting" Description of Man's Genitals

North Yorkshire Police have apologised for providing "too much detail" in a description of a man who performed a sex act in front of a woman in York. The force had said it was looking for a "fat, naked man" and described his sexual organs explicitly...

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Alleged man allegedly arrested for alleged crime

Funny story: Alleged man allegedly arrested for alleged crime

Richard Puttup-Yur Dukes, allegedly an All-Tuna, Pennsylvania, man was allegedly arrested for alleged cruelty to animals after he allegedly punched a police officer in the face. The officer was allegedly responding to a call concerning Dukes's all...

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Edge City Police Rule Bank Robbery As a Non-Crime, Implying That the Bank Brought it Upon Themselves

EDGE CITY, NY – After hours of investigating this morning's robbery of the Edge City Bank, Police Commissioner Ben Gothan declared that the robbery was a non-crime. Detective Mitch Callaway addressed the assembled press with a pre-written statemen...

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"999 What's Your Emer...Ah Fuck It"

A shocking new report has found that over one million crimes a year aren’t even investigated by the police. To people who enjoy stealing cheap bottles of cider, this is great news! But, for those of us who expect our law enforcement to do a semi comp...

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Gruesome Murder Reconstruction Ends In Gruesome Murder

Funny story: Gruesome Murder Reconstruction Ends In Gruesome Murder

Police supervising a TV documentary murder reconstruction of an unsolved slaying that happened 20 years ago, have egg on their faces this evening, after a second murder took place in exactly the same manner as the first one. In Epsom, back in 199...

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Senator Ted Cruz on what to do if you're in your home and find yourself murdered by police

In a television interview Sunday, Senator Ted Cruz offered the public some wise advice on how to react when you find yourself murdered in your own home by police.  Speaking about the recent fatal shooting of a black man in Dallas, the Senator astutel...

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German Police Arrest Squirrel

Karlsruhe, Deutschland—A terrified man called police when he was threatened by a squirrel. The tiny rodent, whom authorities identified as a baby, was in hot pursuit of the victim when police arrived on the scene. “It was a sight to behold,” on...

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