Written by Abel Rodriguez

Tuesday, 9 July 2013

image for Well-Endowed Bikini Mom Kicked Out of A Water Park For Being Too Voluptuously Sexy!
Madeline Schaffer says that her breasts are size 34-DD. (Photo courtesy of Rico Chorizo).

INDEPENDENCE, Missouri - A 42-year-old woman identified as Madeline Schaffer took her 14-year-old daughter to The Shiver Me Timbers Water Park in Independence.

Schaffer said that she and her little girl were having a fantastic time when all of a sudden one of the park lifeguards, Toby Seersucker, 18, informed her that she had to put on some basketball shorts and a football jersey.

She inquired as to why. And she was told because her black and white bikini was much too skimpy and as a result she was showing a tremendous amount of her skin.

"Can you be more specific" she asked the young lifeguard who was having a hell of a hard time keeping his tongue in his mouth.

"Well ma'am," He said nervously, "If I have to be specific you're showing a lot of your tata's, your butt, your legs, and your bikini region."

Schaffer started laughing and told him that he needed to either leave or get in the water as something was starting to develop in his swimsuit.

Toby looked down and he immediately jumped into the water.

His supervisor, Walter Doonhicken, 53, showed up and he instructed Schaffer to put on some shorts and a shirt or he would personally frisk her and escort her off the water park property.

She shook her head and said that there were lots and lots of sexy-looking mature women at the park and they were not being asked to leave.

Doonhicken told her that they were not causing tsunamis in the pool like she was. He informed her that when she jumped into the main pool she made some humongous waves that wiped out the cotton candy cart and knocked over a 97-year-old woman in a walker.

Schaffer refused to get out and Doonhicken called the police and had her arrested. As the police were leading her out the front gate Doonhicken asked her if he could have a photo taken with her.

She grinned and told him to stick his camera up his water slide.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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