Professor Sir Roy Meadow off to Portugal to help frame Kate McCann

Written by Noshing Mink

Monday, 10 September 2007

Hey!

The story you are trying to access may cause offense, may be in poor taste, or may contain subject matter of a graphic nature. This story was written as a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you wish to back out now, please click here to go back to the home page.

image for Professor Sir Roy Meadow off to Portugal to help frame Kate McCann
Meadow once suggested that Mary was responsible for the death of her son Jesus - what a toe rag!

Portuguese police have drafted in former British paediatrician Professor Sir Roy Meadow to help with the prosecution of Kate and Gerry McCann.

Meadow, whose evidence helped convict a string of innocent women of killing their children, lives in disgraced exile in a castle in Monaco made entirely of gold, earned from his prosecution fees. His dictum that "one sudden infant death is a tragedy, two is suspicious and three is murder, until proved otherwise" became known as Meadow's Law. His evidence was accepted by many judges and juries because he was believed to be an eminent expert in his field.

Meadow told us:

"The finding of Madeleine's DNA in the McCanns' villa and the fact that Mrs McCann's fingerprints are all over her daughter's toys prove statistically that she did it.

"The chances of two different English mothers each going out to Portugal and being responsible for the disappearances of their daughters while eating at a tapas bar are infinitesimal, about 1 in 100 million. Therefore, she must be guilty."

Although discredited and struck off by the British Medical Association for being a toe rag, Meadow was reinstated by a High Court judge after being confused by statistics about the chances of more than one paediatrician giving inaccurate evidence in a British court. The BMA appealed to the Court of Appeal which upheld the decision by a 2-1 majority. Clever judge Sir Anthony Clarke, who disagreed with the other two, told Meadow:

"You may have fooled my colleagues with your statistics, but I still think you're a toe rag."

Although Meadow has retired from practice in Britain because nobody wants to employ him any more, other countries with crap legal systems, like Portugal, are crying out for warped experts like him to give evidence against innocent defendants.

What a toe rag!

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Spoof news topics



Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more