MANCHESTER, England - (Satire News) – Manchester police are reporting that Mr. and Mrs. Nigel Ticklewine were having a bit of a sexual encounter, when they heard a strange pecking sound outside their third-floor apartment window.
Since the couple had been having trouble with birds flying around outside their window, Nigel grabbed his Remington Model 17 Pump-Action Shotgun and went to the window.
He told investigating officers that, as he opened the window to shoot the nasty bird, he noticed an adult male dressed in a Spiderman costume attached to the outside of the building.
Just as Nigel was about to pull the trigger, the man shouted, "Don’t shoot! I’m human!"
Nigel then helped the man into his bedroom, and told him to keep his eyes closed, so he wouldn't see his wife in her birthday suit.
Once inside, Nigel and Poinsetia grabbed the peeper - identified as Thomas Noblewater - and tied his hands using one of Poinsetia's Victoria’s Secret teddies.
Spiderman did open one eye, but he quickly shut it when Poinsetia hit him over the head with one of her fox-hunting riding boots.
The local police later informed the Ticklewines that Thomas Noblewater was charged with being a 'Peeping Tom.'