Local Man Kicked Out of House By Parents; Invokes Squatter's Rights

Written by Nick Fudala

Sunday, 10 July 2011

image for Local Man Kicked Out of House By Parents; Invokes Squatter's Rights
This police dog was brought in to maul Ed Stepson in

VIRGINIA BEACH, VA - Unemployed local Ed Stepson, 37, was kicked out of his parent's house today by his father, Gene Stepson, 63, and mother, Jean Stepson, 59.

Ed rejected his parent's proposal by invoking the antiquated "squatter's rights," giving him what he believes to be 30 days before having to leave the residence. This decision resulted in Ed's parents calling the authorities to either have Ed "removed from the premises or arrested."

Officers arrived on the scene to find Ed barricaded in his bedroom by having moved his TV stand behind the door. After minutes of passive negotiations, officers decided instead to enter the bedroom through the window and dragged Ed out of the house. He is now in custody while awaiting charges.

Regarding Mr. Ed Stepson's stance that he should not have to leave the residence for 30 days, attorney Margaret Weaver stated that his belief is "wrong."

"Ed's invocation of squatter's rights has no traction in the modern age," Ms. Weaver said, "in fact, if he used the energy he put forth into discovering squatter's rights towards finding an actual job he'd be living on his own right now."

Ed's parents plan to prosecute him to the fullest extent of the law, with possible charges including theft and trespassing.

"We've tried everything to get him out of the house," Ed's mother, Jean, said, "but he just won't leave. He can't hold a job for more than a week and he hasn't even tried to find one in months. This is the only way he'll learn. The only way."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Spoof news topics

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more