Some Social and Cultural Stereotypes May Actually Benefit from Coronavirus
Though the current pandemic is undeniably a horrible killer that does not play favorites, many social and cultural groups are beginning to benefit from what were once hurtful stereotypes. We compiled a list of these obtained from numerous conversatio...
Read full storyGun-toting Michiganders Burn Witch As They Protest State's Coronavirus Lockdown
Riotous, chanting, gun-toting, machine gun-wielding, and frenzied protesters against Michigan's coronavirus lockdown have burned, what they claim, was a local witch, on the steps of the state capitol building. Hundreds of demonstrators, many of th...
Read full storyNana Not Really That Bothered If She Can't See Grandchildren Ever Again
Self-isolating grandmother, Betty Barnes, has confided to one of her sons, that she "isn't really that arsed" if she never sees two of her grandchildren again due to restrictions imposed as a result of the COVID-19 virus. "I'll be honest; it's qui...
Read full storyCat Walks In On Man Masturbating
In an incident in which both parties involved would like to quickly forget, Mike, a black and white 'tuxedo' cat, inadvertently witnessed his owner masturbating in front of his laptop. "It was humiliating," said Duncan Whitehead, Mike's owner,...
Read full storySelf-Taught Epidemiologist Knows What's Good for America
(Torrance, California) The eyes of a nervous and uncertain nation turned towards the West this week, as self-made billionaire, Elon Musk, took to the Internet to express his frustration with his state government’s lockdown orders, to preserve human l...
Read full storyHardworking-Intended Americans Hope Coronavirus Pandemic Will Return US Jobs from China
(Providence, Rhode Island) It has become clear there are many economic and systemic changes that will need to be addressed after the current Coronavirus pandemic eases in the US. International travel policies, medical infrastructure, and even simpler...
Read full storyLockdown Opens Doors for Key Workers
LOCKSMITHS have reported booming sales since the start of the coronavirus pandemic. While many businesses have been struggling during the tight restrictions, key workers have never been so busy. Reg Dwight, owner of key-cutting and lock fitting...
Read full storyTour De France Will Not Be Held 'Behind Closed Doors'
The Coronavirus may well have brought an abrupt end to most of the worldwide sporting programme, but the exotically-named French minister for sport, Roxana Maracineanu, has said that the 2020 Tour de France will not be held 'behind closed doors'.
Read full storyJoe Biden Convincingly Denies Remembering Sexually Assaulting Former Staffer Tara Reade
Breaking a month-long silence, presumptive Democratic presidential nominee Joe Biden formally addressed allegations that he sexually assaulted former Senate aide, Tara Reade, in 1993, convincingly denying that he had any memory of pinning Reade again...
Read full storyBoris Johnson Says UK Lockdown Will Continue Until He, Himself, Is Suffering
The Coronavirus lockdown, which is now six weeks old, and already biting into the financial reserves of many small and medium-sized businesses, is set to continue, says Prime Minister Boris Johnson, who maintains that the arrangement will be kept in...
Read full storyKiller kangaroos terrorise Australia
Police in all Australian states and territories are reporting gangs of kangaroos rampaging through major cities, robbing stores and killing people indiscriminately. From Sydney, where wild animals of any sort are rarely seen due to the lack of oxy...
Read full storyFans Rocked Over Elvis Posters
MEMPHIS has been besieged by rock fans convinced there is new evidence that Elvis is alive. Thousands of fans ignored social distancing rules by gathering outside his former home-turned-shrine, Gracelands. Others demanded answers from the White...
Read full storyPreppers refuse to stay at home during emergency
Michigan, US. So-called "preppers" have spent years stockpiling and preparing for a widespread crisis like the current pandemic. Yet many of them are refusing to follow their own plans to stay indoors. "This ain't it," said survivalist Wyoming Geo...
Read full storyThe New White House Press Secretary, Kayleigh McEnany, Said That She Will Never Lie – BOOM! Her First Sentence Is Her Very First Lie
WASHINGTON, D.C. – Kayleigh McEnany, 32, held her very first press conference, and the new press secretary clearly showed the assembled reporters that she is going to soon become Sarah Huckabee Jr. Kay-Kay, as Anthony Scaramucci calls her, attende...
Read full storyThe WWE Has Come Up With a Way To Have Wrestling Matches While Adhering to the 6-Foot Social Distancing Policy
NEW YORK CITY – Vince McMahon, CEO of World Wrestling Entertainment, has informed the wrestling world not to worry because the WWE will be returning very soon. WWE announcer Cicero “The Mouth” Alamogordo stated that he met with Vince, his wife Lin...
Read full storyApple’s Latest Phone, “Mom’s Apple Pie” is Geared Towards the Woman on-the-Go
NEW YORK CITY – Apple has finally listened to its customers, and will be coming out with a new phone geared to the American woman. The new phone called the “Mom’s Apple Pie” will have the capability of storing over 12 million recipes, 8.3 million...
Read full storyJameis Winston Has Signed With the New Orleans Saints to Be Drew Bree’s Backup
NEW ORLEANS – Jameis Winston is one very lucky young man, as the ex-Tampa Bay Buccaneer quarterback has just signed a contract to play for the New Orleans Saints. Sporting Chance Magazine reporter Hercules Confetti pointed out that the skirt-chasi...
Read full storyWhite House Blocks Dr. Anthony Fauci From Testifying Before House Panel
When did freedom of speech or the First Amendment in the Constitution of the United States of America become erased and taken away from an American citizen? This is a freedom given to the people of the United States of America in 1789. It's old st...
Read full storyEnglish Teacher Counted Windows In Condo Across The Road To Alleviate Boredom
An English teacher at a school in Bangkok has revealed how, during lessons with a particularly difficult and unresponsive young child, he became so thoroughly bored, that he regularly counted the number of windows in the condominium opposite. The...
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