Nana Not Really That Bothered If She Can't See Grandchildren Ever Again

Written by Dewani Unhatched

Saturday, 2 May 2020

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There's No One Quite Like Grandma...

Self-isolating grandmother, Betty Barnes, has confided to one of her sons, that she "isn't really that arsed" if she never sees two of her grandchildren again due to restrictions imposed as a result of the COVID-19 virus.

"I'll be honest; it's quite a relief not having Johnny and Booby coming over. Screaming, shouting, making noise. Continually bickering and arguing. Eating all my crisps and jaffa cakes. No, to tell the truth, this whole thing is a blessing in disguise. Pair of cunts," said the 82-year-old as she settled down to another day of continually watching Inspector Morse, Vera, and Prime Suspect.

However, Betty has not forsaken all her grandchildren. "Brian is welcome anytime. He's a good lad. I don't care if he drinks all the milk. I'm not saying I have a favorite or anything but I would walk over hot coals for that boy. The other two? Wouldn't piss on them if they were on fucking fire."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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