The WWE Has Come Up With a Way To Have Wrestling Matches While Adhering to the 6-Foot Social Distancing Policy

Written by Abel Rodriguez

Saturday, 2 May 2020

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WWE CEO Vince McMahon said that he wants President Trump and daughter Ivanka to be his guests at the first WWE event.

NEW YORK CITY – Vince McMahon, CEO of World Wrestling Entertainment, has informed the wrestling world not to worry because the WWE will be returning very soon.

WWE announcer Cicero “The Mouth” Alamogordo stated that he met with Vince, his wife Linda, and Linda’s grandmother Beulah Hipowitz, and the four worked out a plan that will comply with the 6-foot distancing policy, implemented by President Trump and his top adviser, daughter Ivanka.

Alamogordo stated that fans will be seated 9-feet from each other, and the wrestlers will be in the ring, but they will be separated by the 6-foot distance mandate.

The two wrestlers will each have a stack of 12 standard folding chairs by their side.

When the bell rings, both wrestlers will begin tossing the folding chairs at each other.

The wrestlers will continue tossing the chairs at one another until one of them gets knocked out.

Alamogordo said that, if neither of the wrestlers gets knocked out after all 24 chairs have been tossed, then the referee will determine the winner by using the rock, paper, scissors method.

Vince McMahon stated that the WWE has already signed contracts with three sponsors; The Girl Scout Cookies Corporation, Marlboro Light Cigarettes, and Preparation H.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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