Trump Campaign Bringing In Musical Acts For Tulsa Rally
Besides catching musical acts at Trump's next rally in Tulsa, Oklahoma, coronavirus is going to be at a premium. No activity is necessary. Just sit there next to a stranger, shoulder to shoulder, please don’t wear a mask, Trump frowns on masks, shout...
Read full storyBolton Finally Sings About Trump
John Bolton, the former national security advisor to Donald Trump, who refused to testify during the Trump impeachment trial, finally sings. Not Sinatra sing, but had his book published by Simon & Schuster. Lots of dinero there. Dinero means m...
Read full storySan Francisco Names Ambassador to Autonomous Zone
London Breed, the Mayor of San Francisco, announced today that the city will send an ambassador to CHAZ, the “Capitol Hill Autonomous Zone” in Seattle. Breed explained that she and the entire city council greatly admire what had been accomplished in...
Read full storyDr. Billingsgate Declares War On Commie-Pinko Spoofers
BILLINGSGATE POST: In a carefully scripted declaration, so nuanced that even he could not understand what he was saying, Dr. Billingsgate went one step farther in his war against the proliferation of Commie-Pinko writers who have surreptitiously tak...
Read full storyGovernment Corruption Scandal: Someone ate Tim's panini
Someone else has eaten Tim's turkey BLT panini right out of the Town Hall break room fridge. First reports of the scandal emerged at around 12:45 p.m. Wednesday afternoon. Tim Sullivan, the town's Economic Development Director, is alleged to b...
Read full storyWhite Alliance who Never Kneel and Enjoy Repairing Statues
Today marks the passing of one of Britain’s most loved wartime singers, Dame Vera Lynn, at the age of 103, which is mightily fucking impressive. Dame Lynn’s music became synonymous with the struggles of a nation sheltering in bunkers from bombers eve...
Read full storyElectric Eels 'Agitated' Left Man Agitated
A man has recounted how, whilst listening to music from his computer library, yesterday afternoon, he encountered the 1975-written Electric Eels track 'Agitated', and became extremely agitated. The incident happened as veteran music enthusiast, Mo...
Read full storyThe Heavy Metal Band Formerly Known as C-19 is Now Officially Known as WD-40
DUBLIN – Doolin Tipperary, the lead singer with the Irish heavy metal band formerly known as C-19, says the band has officially changed its name, and now goes by the name WD-40. “Tip”, as his bandmates and fans call him, said that when the band wa...
Read full storyUncle Ben’s Converted Rice Is Getting a Brand New Name
HOUSTON – In keeping with racially-correct product themes and names, the company that produces Uncle Ben’s Converted Rice has decided to rename their extremely popular product. In fact, recent studies have shown that Uncle Ben's Rice is the most p...
Read full storyJohn Bolton’s Explosive Expose on President Donald Trump
NEW YORK CITY – Trump’s former White House National Security Adviser, John Bolton, has just published his bombshell book titled “I Was In The Room Where It All Hit The Fan". Inside sources say that Trump begged, pleaded, and colluded with Bolton t...
Read full storyThe New Name For Aunt Jemima Pancake Mix Has Just Been Announced
CHICAGO – The Quaker Oats Corporation, which makes Aunt Jemima Pancake Mix, has just revealed that they are dropping the racist name Aunt Jemima and replacing it with another name. Helga Tuscaloosa, 57, who runs the product-naming department at th...
Read full storyFootball Setback As 2,500 Players Test Positive For Greed
There was a catastrophe on the eve of the return of the football programme last night, when it was announced that a staggering 2,563 professional football players had tested positive for greed. The infected players came from every club. None ha...
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