BILLINGSGATE POST: In a carefully scripted declaration, so nuanced that even he could not understand what he was saying, Dr. Billingsgate went one step farther in his war against the proliferation of Commie-Pinko writers who have surreptitiously taken over The Spoof site, which once held proudly the banner of political neutrality.
In a totally redacted statement by Billingsgate, that Spoof Editor-In-Chief, Monkey Woods, claimed “Didn’t meet the standards of Spoof excellence,” nothing was left to read except the commas, semicolons, exclamation points and the period at the end of the statement.
Noting his long-held principle that no one should be held sacred from criticism - except for, of course, John Wayne, Euell Gibbons and Donald Trump - Dr. Billingsgate has largely held fast to this; with the exception of once describing Trump’s hairpiece “as one hair 600 feet long, carefully woven to cover his ball pate.”
For this I beg forgiveness.
Using the Notary Sojac provision provided to all writers with 10 years or more tenure with The Spoof, it is my humble proposal that The Spoof purges itself from writers who are card carrying Commie-Pinkos; some of whom humorlessly seek to overthrow the United States of America and President Trump.
Also, to preclude further proliferation, all incoming writers to be personally vetted by Dr. Billingsgate, a trusted servant and part of the last bulwark of defense against the encroaching Bolshevik hordes.
Slim: “Who could not reasonably not agree to this?”
Dirty: Yo, Dude. Only the Commie-Pinko vermin he is referring to.”