Funny story: Trump suggests golf game to decide election

Trump suggests golf game to decide election

President Trump tweeted this morning that a game of golf should decide the 2020 US election, to avoid what he claims are "fake voters" that would corrupt the result. "A lot of people say it's the best way to decide who should be president," said T…

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Funny story: Looters Complain About Macy's Return Policy

Looters Complain About Macy's Return Policy

BILLINGSGATE POST: War is Hell. To the Victor belong the spoils...Blah, Blah and more Blah. Alexander the Great wasn’t called “Great” because he loved children and dogs. Genghis Khan and Attila the Hun struck fear into the hearts of the peoples of W…

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Funny story: The Rise And Fall Of President Trump

The Rise And Fall Of President Trump

It's been reported that President Donald Trump has been injured in an accident, after falling from a section of the infamous US/Mexico border wall during a routine inspection earlier today. The President was helped up the wall by means of a ladder…

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Funny story: Spit-a-Long-a-Don

Spit-a-Long-a-Don

In his desperate quest to convince Americans of the utterly benign effects of Covid-19, President Donald Trump will be spitting on his audience at the next rally of Republicans, and will invite them to spit on each other as evidence of the total harm…

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Funny story: EastEnders episodes will be shorter and use CGI on set to compensate for social distancing - unfortunately 20 minutes will still feel like 30 minutes

EastEnders episodes will be shorter and use CGI on set to compensate for social distancing - unfortunately 20 minutes will still feel like 30 minutes

The filming of British soap EastEnders will adopt digital technology to meet social distancing requirements. Actor, Jake Woods, said: ‘CGI is amazing. I film my scenes at home sat on the toilet but with CGI it looks I’m in someone else’s home sat on…

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Funny story: UK Tabloid / Broadsheet sensational, non-fake headlines today!

UK Tabloid / Broadsheet sensational, non-fake headlines today!

Headlines attract readers, and UK newspapers are ardently read because of daily headlines hitting punters' daily consumption of modern-day journalist garbage. Here are today's headlines: Daily Star: Pamela Anderson's left boob is sagging lower…

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Funny story: Deutsche Bank penalized and pays $150m for Jeffrey Epstein ties - but not the one he used to commit suicide

Deutsche Bank penalized and pays $150m for Jeffrey Epstein ties - but not the one he used to commit suicide

The beleaguered financial institution Deutsche Bank are reviewing their questionable investment in Jeffrey Epstein’s collection of fine silk ties, as it could be regarded as distasteful. Brinhilda Von B’Lox, the bank's risk analyst, said ‘Epstein…

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Funny story: The Red Lives Matter Group Wants George Washington Removed From Mount Rushmore and Replaced With Chief Geronimo

The Red Lives Matter Group Wants George Washington Removed From Mount Rushmore and Replaced With Chief Geronimo

CUSTER, South Dakota – The news media is reporting that Jonathan Penna, also known as Chief Cow Lick, has stated that he and his group, known as Red Lives Matter, want George Washington to be taken off Mount Rushmore. They state that it is only fa…

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Funny story: Trump Plans to Have A Statue Erected of Himself Sitting on a Horse Dressed as a Confederate General

Trump Plans to Have A Statue Erected of Himself Sitting on a Horse Dressed as a Confederate General

WASHINGTON, D.C. – President Trump told Sean Hannity that he wants to have a statue of himself commissioned. POTUS stated that he would be dressed as a Civil War Confederate general, while sitting majestically on a majestic Civil War horse. He…

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Funny story: President Trump Addresses The Rumor That He Is Going To Double The Taxes of All Black Lives Matter Members

President Trump Addresses The Rumor That He Is Going To Double The Taxes of All Black Lives Matter Members

WASHINGTON, D.C. – The President says that the reports that appeared in the Chicago Daily Wind newspaper about him doubling the taxes of members of the Black Lives Matter organization, are simply not true. “Lies, put out by Nancy Pelosi, Robert De…

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Funny story: Tom Brady Quarterback of The Tampa Bay Buccaneers, is Upset That The NFL Season Could be Cancelled

Tom Brady Quarterback of The Tampa Bay Buccaneers, is Upset That The NFL Season Could be Cancelled

TAMPA BAY – The man known by sports fans as "Tom Terrific" has just learned that the NFL season might be scrapped due to the Coronapalooza pandemic. Brady, who is as gung-ho an athlete as ever wore a jock strap, said that he will go into one hell…

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Funny story: President Trump’s Personal Physician Reveals That Physically and Mentally Things Are Starting To Look Very, Very Bad For POTUS

President Trump’s Personal Physician Reveals That Physically and Mentally Things Are Starting To Look Very, Very Bad For POTUS

WASHINGTON, D.C. - President Trump’s personal physician, Dr. Yang Fu Fi, has not wanted to put this out, but POTUS is suffering from several maladies that are starting to affect his mental and physical well-being. Dr. Fu Fi, said that the Preside…

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Funny story: GOP'ers 4 Biden Is Made Up of Former President Bush Staff Members

GOP'ers 4 Biden Is Made Up of Former President Bush Staff Members

WASHINGTON, D.C. – The latest anti-Trump group to spring up is perhaps one that Trump hates more than any of the others. Individuals who served in President George W. Bush’s White House, have formed a group of hundreds, and they are as anti-Trump…

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Funny story: Baby Given Stupid Name

Baby Given Stupid Name

It's always a blissful experience when babies are born, with parents gazing lovingly at their new addition, its beautiful eyes, adorable nose, little fingers and toes, and, in order to cause maximum embarrassment to its grandparents, wondering what k…

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Funny story: Man Relieved To Discover Francis Rossi Isn't Dead Yet

Man Relieved To Discover Francis Rossi Isn't Dead Yet

A man who was reading a Wikipedia page about British boogie rock band, Status Quo, and read of the deaths of two members of the band, told of how relieved he was to to discover that founding member, Francis Rossi, was still alive. Moys Kenwood, wh…

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Funny story: Man Fondly Remembers First Record He Ever Bought

Man Fondly Remembers First Record He Ever Bought

A man who was idly daydreaming the other day, started to think about music from his childhood, and remembered that the first vinyl record he ever bought was the 7" single by Status Quo, 'Down, Down' in 1974, when he was just 11 years old. Moys Ken…

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Funny story: No One Wearing A Pink Pantsuit To Be Allowed To Visit Ghislaine Maxwell

No One Wearing A Pink Pantsuit To Be Allowed To Visit Ghislaine Maxwell

BILLINGSGATE POST: As a precaution, the Department of Justice issued a warning to the hooples watching over Epstein’s mole, Ghislaine Maxwell: No one wearing a pink pantsuit is to be allowed near Maxwell’s cell at Metropolitan Detention Center in Br…

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