The Red Lives Matter Group Wants George Washington Removed From Mount Rushmore and Replaced With Chief Geronimo

Funny story written by Fannin Fabriano

Wednesday, 8 July 2020

image for The Red Lives Matter Group Wants George Washington Removed From Mount Rushmore and Replaced With Chief Geronimo
Trump and an alleged Shoshoni squaw named Bad-Storm-Who-Spanks-Dirty-Weasel.

CUSTER, South Dakota – The news media is reporting that Jonathan Penna, also known as Chief Cow Lick, has stated that he and his group, known as Red Lives Matter, want George Washington to be taken off Mount Rushmore.

They state that it is only fair that Apache Chief Geronimo, be put up there along with Lincoln, Jefferson, and Roosevelt.

Chief Cow Lick pointed out that 2 of the 4 presidents actually owned slaves, as if they were furniture, cooking utensils, or a skateboard.

Senate leader, Mitch “Turtle Face” McConnell, said that Geronimo scalped hundreds of settlers, pioneers, and Wild West Show audience members.

A representative with the Indians of America organization said that "Moscow Mitch" really needs to stop kissing DJT's ass so much.

He suggested that the Kentucky relic start reviewing some of the 7,000 amendments, that have been languishing on top of his desk for 36-plus months.

Meanwhile, Senator Elizabeth Warren, who POTUS has called “Pocahontas,” remarked that one of her great, great, great uncles briefly dated one of Chief Geronimo’s ex-wives, Woman-Who-Fries-Bison Balls.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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