Trump suggests golf game to decide election

Funny story written by Sir Geoffroy Cockface

Wednesday, 8 July 2020

image for Trump suggests golf game to decide election
Golf: a game where fat lazy dicks try to put their balls in a hole

President Trump tweeted this morning that a game of golf should decide the 2020 US election, to avoid what he claims are "fake voters" that would corrupt the result.

"A lot of people say it's the best way to decide who should be president," said Trump. "We would compete man to man, not like this fraudulent polling. We could even play golf at Mar-A-Lago, it has its own course. It means the radical left won't be able to influence the election and we'll get a fair result."

Joe Biden has not yet responded to the suggestion, but, even if he accepted, it would overturn centuries of tradition, and would probably be unconstitutional. Legal expert, Geoff Judge, said, "It's totally unprecedented. Replacing democracy with a golf game is so insane, I can't believe even this lunatic president thought of it."

Trump insisted in another post on social media that he was serious. "ELECTIONS ARE FOR LOSERS!" he wrote. "I NEVER LOSE." He later added, "Is Biden too 'chicken' to play golf with me? He must know I'm an ace golfer, the best. I'm very good at golf. Some people say I should have gone pro, but I was too busy making gajillions of money."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more