Funny story: Woman Wore Yellow Hat

Woman Wore Yellow Hat

There were dropped jaws and a few sideways glances on a train in France earlier today, when a woman was seen wearing a yellow beret-style hat. The woman, a pretty young girl aged about 24, was sitting in a third-class carriage on the Paris to Méda…

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Funny story: Man wiped arse

Man wiped arse

Geoff Shitter, 47, of Bishop's Prepuce, wiped his arse clean with toilet paper today, after taking a large dump. "Ooh, it were right satisfying," said the unemployed logger. "I barely had to squeeze at all." He said that the large turd dropped out…

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Funny story: Australian Airline KwonToss attempts to lure passengers back

Australian Airline KwonToss attempts to lure passengers back

Renowned Australian Airline KwonToss have told us that they're going to start offering their first-class passengers flights which will include accommodation with a bedroom, a kitchenette, and a wet-room. Whilst this may look attractive, Tripped A…

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Funny story: Painting Shows President Trump And Boris Johnson May Have Been Separated At Birth

Painting Shows President Trump And Boris Johnson May Have Been Separated At Birth

There's no disputing it! Whatever evidence anyone comes up with to the contrary, a recent portrait shows that, without the shadow of a doubt, Donald Trump and Boris Johnson are identical twin brothers who must have been separated at birth! The por…

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Funny story: Couple in argument over last Rolo

Couple in argument over last Rolo

A man and his wife from Brighton have told friends of how a cosy night in front of the television turned into a major incident, after they became embroiled in an argument over the last Rolo. Just to clear this up, they're both from Brighton, not j…

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Funny story: London store Arrods adopts foolproof 'Social Distancing' method

London store Arrods adopts foolproof 'Social Distancing' method

Whilst most shops have followed the pattern of placing tape on the ground two metres apart to ensure customers' safety, London's Arrods has adopted a different approach. Customer Service Manager, Cedric Posher-Thanyew, explained. "We found that th…

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Funny story: Man realises his passionate arguments are no match for his wife’s facts

Man realises his passionate arguments are no match for his wife’s facts

A middle-aged man rambling that, in his youth, he’d seen The Smiths in Madchester during the BritPop music scene, has had it pointed out by his wife that his youth ended in 1981, two years before The Smiths, who’d split up before Madchester, which is…

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Funny story: 1970s Soviet interference at the BBC can now be exposed

1970s Soviet interference at the BBC can now be exposed

Allegations that the double meanings of 1970s sitcom scripts reveal deep penetration by the Soviets, who had slipped through the back door of the family friendly Light Entertainment Department to inappropriately interfere at the BBC. GCHQ languag…

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Funny story: Adam Silver, Strip Clubs, and the NBA Bubble

Adam Silver, Strip Clubs, and the NBA Bubble

The first publicized incident about a break in the bubble rules involved Dwight Howard, who plays for the Lakers, the team generally considered most likely to win the NBA championship. The second publicized incident involved Lou Williams, who plays…

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Funny story: Facebook HQ burnt down after user throws a molotov through letter box screaming; "F..K your ads!"

Facebook HQ burnt down after user throws a molotov through letter box screaming; "F..K your ads!"

(UNEDITED) Facebook's HQ, Hamburg, Germany, has been attacked by a deranged user after his fingers were cramped deleting their constant nonsensical, pathetic ads! "Enough is enough!" Was his constant scream for help as the daily overdose of shitty…

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Funny story: President Trump’s Campaign is Illegally Funneling Millions to Two Women

President Trump’s Campaign is Illegally Funneling Millions to Two Women

WASHINGTON, D.C. – (Fake News) - Investigators with the Cosmos Illegal Doings Investigating Commission have stumbled upon what could possibly end up being one of the greatest money-laundering schemes since the days of Al Capone. The CIDIC found th…

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Funny story: Two Al-Qaeda Operatives Caught Living in Trump Tower

Two Al-Qaeda Operatives Caught Living in Trump Tower

NEW YORK CITY – (Spoof News) - The FBI has issued a statement that it has just apprehended two Al-Qaeda operatives, who were living on the 14th floor at Trump Tower. The two have been identified as Muhammad al-Bibbity and Abu Moo Bagfatti. Fed…

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Funny story: Ellen DeGeneres is Being Investigated For Allegedly Using Counterfeit Boxer Shorts

Ellen DeGeneres is Being Investigated For Allegedly Using Counterfeit Boxer Shorts

WASHINGTON, D.C. – (Funny Celebrity Story) - The CIA is reporting that it is conducting a full-scale investigation into talk show maven, Ellen DeGeneres. A spokesperson for the three-lettered organization stated that they received reports (includi…

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Funny story: Major League Baseball is Now Considering Tearing Down Coronavirus-Infested Marlins Park

Major League Baseball is Now Considering Tearing Down Coronavirus-Infested Marlins Park

MIAMI - (Sports Satire) - Rob Manfred, commissioner of MLB, has told the sports media that every day, his damn headache gets worse and worse. He pointed out that, now, a team of baseball park inspectors are recommending that the Florida Marlins'…

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Funny story: Jessica Simpson to Star in The Dixie-Themed TV Sit-Com “Mama Daisy Duke and Her Redneck Boys.”

Jessica Simpson to Star in The Dixie-Themed TV Sit-Com “Mama Daisy Duke and Her Redneck Boys.”

HOLLYWOOD – (TV Satire) - Jessica Simpson has agreed to revise her role as Daisy Duke on the Epitome Networks new sit-com titled, “Mama Daisy Duke and Her Redneck Boys”. Jessica’s character from “The Dukes of Hazzard” movie is now a divorced mothe…

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Funny story: The Vulgar-Mouthed Ricky Gervais Will Be Hosting His Very Own Talk Show

The Vulgar-Mouthed Ricky Gervais Will Be Hosting His Very Own Talk Show

HOLLYWOOD - (Funny News) - The man that Paul McCartney has described as being The Vilest Villain From The Deepest Depths of Hell, says he can hardly wait to begin his new talk show. The show is titled, “The Handsome Ricky Gervais Shoots-The-You-Kn…

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Funny story: China accuses CERN of treachery

China accuses CERN of treachery

Operators of the CERN project in Switzerland have been accused of treachery and espionage by Chinese Government officials. The charges levelled at the project included secretly researching a weapon designed to eliminate vast areas of the People's Rep…

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Funny story: Man Was Awoken At 5am By Music At Neighbors' Wedding

Man Was Awoken At 5am By Music At Neighbors' Wedding

A man whose neighbors are having a two-day wedding celebration for one of their daughters, has told of how he was rudely wrenched from his repose this morning, when unpleasant wailing music was blasted out of huge speakers at 5am. Moys Kenwood, 5…

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Funny story: BLM Sues MLB (Major League Baseball) For Reversing Letters

BLM Sues MLB (Major League Baseball) For Reversing Letters

BILLINGSGATE POST: This is right out of the classic skit done years ago by comedians Abbott and Costello. Who’s on first? Looking Glass War 101. By reversing the letters, BLM becomes MLB. Black Lives Matter becomes Major League Baseball. To th…

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Funny story: Jeff Bezos announces he has finally killed Superman

Jeff Bezos announces he has finally killed Superman

Metropolis, Illinois. This morning, from his mansion, billionaire, Jeff Bezos, has announced that the Man of Steel is no more. Following a dramatic confrontation, the tech and retail CEO addressed the press in front of his slightly damaged mansion af…

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