Prince Andrew Footman Defends 'No Sweat' Claim
Prince Andrew, who has been keeping a very low profile since his squirming 'car crash' Newsnight interview with Emily Maitlis, last November, served to destroy his public reputation, has been defended over his claim that he "cannot sweat", by a Bucki…
Read full storyJames Dolan Becomes a Hockey Fan After Discovering He Owns a Team
NEW YORK CITY - (sports satire) - New York Knicks owner James Dolan is known for his meddling in basketball and his attempts to play music. However, he has a new obsession: Ice Hockey. This new-found passion comes after discovering he owns an NHL fra…
Read full storyNancy Poozleosi Named Lying Dog-Faced Pony Soldier Of Year By Biden
BILLINGSGATE POST: It has a nice ring to it: “Lying Dog-Faced Pony Soldier Of The Year”. For Nancy Poozleosi, this award has ended a frustrating period in her life. She had been flying under the radar for months, not saying much since her churlish…
Read full storyThis waterfront luxury spot in Sunny Isles was just named best resort in the U.S.
A South Florida luxury oceanfront resort was just named the best resort and hotel in the country — and it’s got the best spa in the United States, too. Palace Resort & Residences in Weston earned three top honors in USA Today’s annual 2020 10…
Read full storyBoy is looking forward to Halloween
A boy in Harlesden has told his friends that he is really looking forward to Halloween this year. Billy Shrapnel, 12, said he always enjoys this time of the year, because there are two exciting events within a week of each other - Halloween and Gu…
Read full storyHeatwave causing new pandemic of 'Red-Hot-Rear-End-Rawness!
(UNEDITED) The human race has enough to contend with avoiding idiots who refuse to keep their distances believing they are immune to Covid 19. However, a new pandemic is sweeping Europe triggered by a heatwave! Sweaty underpants, itchy bums, sand…
Read full storyScottie Pippen Retires
(Chicago) – After 33 years with the Chicago Bulls, forward Scottie Pippen has decided it is time to hang up his sneakers. The 1987 number 8 draft pick has amassed 53,984 points, 21,488 assists and 29,803 rebounds in 2537 games, all NBA records. P…
Read full storyA Friends reunion special! ‘What have we done to deserve this?’
Rumours of a Friends reunion special being filmed when Covid restrictions are lifted, have caused a frenzy of activity. People are ditching face masks, swapping saliva-dripping drinking glasses, and having face-licking orgies. “Is that all we have…
Read full storyDean Cain Captured
(Omaha) – The nation breathes a sigh of relief, as Dean Cain, the actor who played Clark Kent in the television series Lois and Clark, has been captured in downtown Omaha. He escaped last Sunday night from his room in Los Angeles. His capture was…
Read full storyOrgasm theft is crude, messy and indiscriminate - but good value for money
The war on the trade in illegally harvested orgasms is becoming more intense as the 3-year waiting list for NHS orgasm transfusion is leaving patients desperate and gagging. “Orgasm harvesting is intrusive, debilitating and messy,” said Brenda O’…
Read full storyKaty Perry Turns Down an Offer From Playboy Magazine to Do a Nude Layout
HOLLYWOOD – (Satire News) - Reports filtering out of LaLaLand, are that Katy Perry has turned down an offer of $1.7 million to do a layout for Playboy that was to be titled “Katy Perry – In Her Birthday Suit and Ready To Pop Out That Baby”. Katy t…
Read full storyThe Hip Hop Queen Nicki Minaj Denies That She is Feuding with Rapper, Lil Wayne
QUEENS, New York – (Music Satire) - The Queen of hip hop has told the music media that reports coming out of Queens about her feuding with Lil Wayne are completely without basis. Minaj said that the two did have a little bit of a tiff after he dec…
Read full storyFormer Sheriff Joe Arpaio Puts The Blame For His Election Loss Totally on Donald Trump
PHOENIX – (Satire News) - The ex-sheriff of Maricopa county, Joe Arpaio, has been soundly defeated in his second attempt to win back his sheriff’s badge. Arpaio was noted for making his prisoners dress in pink, including socks, shirts, underwear,…
Read full storyThe Gorgeously Sexy Jennifer Lopez and Shakira Agree to be Co-Directors of Joe Biden’s Left Coast Presidential Campaign
LOS ANGELES – (Spoof News) - Jennifer Lopez and her Super Bowl halftime show fellow performer, Shakira, recently met with Joe Biden at the La Brea Tar Pits Convention Center. The two hot Latina entertainers told USA Today that they have agreed to…
Read full storyMeghan Markle Reveals That Melania Trump Told Her She is Going to Vote for Joe Biden
WASHINGTON, D.C. – (Spoof News) - For the past year, the former Duchess of Sussex, Meghan Markle, and the Queen of the Potomac, Melania Trump, have become very good friends. The two women have exchanged fudge recipes, make-up ideas, and even very…
Read full storyLady Gaga and Kate Gosselin Were Spotted Sunbathing Down in Cozumel, Mexico
COZUMEL, Mexico – (Satire News) - Singer Lady Gaga and reality show princess Kate Gosselin were spotted sunbathing in the nude at the Eva Longoria Commemorative Beach, down in the Mexican resort town of Cozumel. TMZ recently reported that there we…
Read full storyUri Geller Bends Other Things
There was controversy all round on Saturday, when it was revealed that, after 50 years of spoon-bending, the Israeli-British telepathic psychic and illusionist Uri Geller had 'branched out' into new territory, and had started bending other things.
Read full storyMan Unable To Fly Back To The UK After Airline Changes His Flight
A man who was due to fly back to his native UK later this month has been informed by the carrier that his flight details have been changed, that he will now fly two days early, and from a different country! Moys Kenwood, 57, had been due to fly fr…
Read full storyPrince William Phones Harry For Help Changing A Tire
Noticing he had a flat tire after coming out of Kensington Palace, Prince William put a call into his brother, Harry, saying he needed help changing a tire on his Range Rover. Harry, believing it was a 2:00 a.m. emergency, picked up the telephone…
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