FEMA Buys Five Million Ventilators From Krane Corp.

Funny story written by Ralph E. Shaffer

Thursday, 9 April 2020

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The White House, Washington D.C. On orders from an unhinged president who, in the wake of the coronavirus pandemic has been unable to explain the lack of medical ventilators in the national stockpile, the Federal Emergency Management Agency - FEMA - today purchased five million ventilators from Krane Corporation for delivery within a month.

Since Krane is the largest manufacturer of ventilators in the world, with production facilities on three continents, FEMA is virtually assured of a speedy delivery. The order, however, was not specific regarding the nature of the ventilators. The Krane sales office said their warehouse had three million in stock, FEMA said "send them", and shipments have started.

Anxious to get the ventilators quickly to stem the criticism from The Spoof and the liberal press, no one at FEMA apparently bothered to ask what kind of ventilators the ones in stock were. Krane only makes school classroom ventilators.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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