There were 325 spoof news stories published in July 2014. A selection of the most popular stories is shown here. You can use the calendar on the right hand side to get news stories from a day in this month.

Think INSIDE the Box, An Expert Advises

Funny story: Think INSIDE the Box, An Expert Advises

As Bob Dylan croons, "The Times They Are A-Changin'." For years, experts had advised thinking OUTSIDE the box. Be different and unconventional, we were told. Look in areas where no one else is looking. Find unique solutions. The problem is -- everyone who is anyone began thinking OUTSIDE the box. It's become too crowded out there. Thinking OUTSIDE the box has become the conventional,...

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Roman Abramovich and Shah of Persia's heir presumptive forced to walk as cops bust chauffeurs in unlicensed taxi crackdown

Funny story: Roman Abramovich and Shah of Persia's heir presumptive forced to walk as cops bust chauffeurs in unlicensed taxi crackdown

New York - Russian mobster Roman Abramovich and Persian royal wannabe Reza Pahlavi are among dozens of foreign VIPs ousted from their respective armor plated SUVs this week and made to walk in a NYPD crackdown on unlicensed taxi drivers. Adding i...

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British PM to freeze the nuts off Roman Abramovich's assets as anti-Putin sanctions start to bite

Funny story: British PM to freeze the nuts off Roman Abramovich's assets as anti-Putin sanctions start to bite

London - An anti-Putin groundswell is threatening to explode into the murky world of oligarch assets like Roman Abramovich's London gold vaults. On Monday British Prime Minister David Cameron will sign an order for Diplomatic Protection Racket cop...

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Grief, Sadness and Then Anger At Tragic Loss of Live Overwhelms Social Media

Social media was a buzz with outpourings of immense grief, a sense of universal loss and then feelings of anger; after it was announced actor James Garner, whose whimsical style in the 1950s TV Western "Maverick" led to a stellar career in TV and fil...

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Tough Guy Orlando Bloom Scares The Shit Out Of Tinsel Town

Born on the mean streets of Canterbury, British tough guy - actor Orlando Bloom - knows a thing or two about violence. Raised by a pair of hippies, Bloom was well known for his fighting skills - he was after all the leader of the Canterbury Cunts -...

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Jürgen Klinsmann Refused Re-entry Into United States

Funny story: Jürgen Klinsmann Refused Re-entry Into United States

US Soccer coach, German born Jürgen Klinsmann has been denied entry back into the United States after immigration officers held him for 8 hours for questioning before deporting him back to Germany. Klinsmann, 49, who was born in Göppingen, West Ge...

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JK Rowling Plans Crime Spree

JK Rowling, whose crime novels written under the pseudonym Robert Galbraith will eventually outnumber her Harry Potter books, has announced that she is planning a crime spree. Our informant "Mick", who generally hangs out at the bus station rubb...

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Obama Joins Everyone Else In Blaming Obama For Everything

Funny story: Obama Joins Everyone Else In Blaming Obama For Everything

"I blame President Obama for this," said an angry President Obama as traffic snarled on the I-95 just south of D.C. Honking his horn and cursing at other road users the angry President shook his head, "This is his fault, this traffic jam - and this s...

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Crop circle circumcises Cerne Abbas Giant's dick

Funny story: Crop circle circumcises Cerne Abbas Giant's dick

Cerne Abbas, Dorset - A crop circle has been blamed for emasculating the huge erect penis of a 180ft ancient Neolithic colossus known as the Cerne Abbas Dick. Uh, Giant. Carved into a Dorset chalk hillock over 10,000 years ago the club-wielding f...

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We'll Never See Yesterday Again Announce Scientists

Funny story: We'll Never See Yesterday Again Announce Scientists

Science Town, OZ Many people who state they wish they could return to yesterday or yesteryear were severely disappointed today when the results of the latest scientific studies were announced. "After much research, we have arrived at the conclusio...

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World Cup souvenir lets fans control time

Funny story: World Cup souvenir lets fans control time

Zürich, Switzerland - Busy soccer fans can now extend their hectic days with a new World Cup innovation from FIFA. Called My Time™, the futbol souvenir puts the power of soccer scheduling into the hands of ordinary spectators. Delivered wit...

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Poodle Glass - Google's Shocking Amendment

Funny story: Poodle Glass - Google's Shocking Amendment

And BOOM!!! Google HQ exploded to bits. Just as they had their amazing "Google Glass" on the Product Line. "Google thought everything was over", said Google C.E.O Larry Smith. "Alas, until thy young , innocent pink poodle appeared from out of the...

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Sarah Palin Says Her Grandpa Used Dinosaurs to Plow the Fields

Funny story: Sarah Palin Says Her Grandpa Used Dinosaurs to Plow the Fields

SOMEWHERE IN ALASKA Former vice-presidential candidate and governor of Alaska Sarah Palin, a devout creationist, stated today that it was true that dinosaurs and homo sapiens existed at the same time because she remembers that her grandparents had to...

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Creationist Scientists Say Big Bang Happened 5,000 Years Ago

Funny story: Creationist Scientists Say Big Bang Happened 5,000 Years Ago

Xanadu The Creationist Scientist League announced during their annual convention today that they have come to an agreement that the Big Bang actually did occur, but it was actually just 5,000 years ago and resulted in a big garden with a couple of tr...

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For Everyone to See: Divorce Notices via Jumbotron

Funny story: For Everyone to See: Divorce Notices via Jumbotron

Arlington, TX-A group of local divorce lawyers have teamed up with Jerry Jones, owner of the Dallas Cowboys, to offer a newfangled way of delivering divorce notices to spouses. They will put them on the over 3,000 Sony® LCD displays around th...

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USA Fury As Prince Harry of England Scores In Extra Time

Funny story: USA Fury As Prince Harry of England Scores In Extra Time

American soccer fans are furious after being knocked out of the World Cup thanks to a goal from third in line to the British throne, Prince Harry. Despite the scoreboard showing the goal, scored in the seventh minute of extra time, being credited...

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Bloomberg packed a parachute on his Tel Aviv flight

Funny story: Bloomberg packed a parachute on his Tel Aviv flight

New York - Former mayor Michael Bloomberg personally demonstrated the safety of flying commercial jets to Tel Aviv recently, with a well executed publicity stunt in which he down played the threat of terrorist rockets that have been raining down on t...

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Leeds Players Refuse To Move To Leeds

Funny story: Leeds Players Refuse To Move To Leeds

The entire Leeds United Squad has been transfer listed after they collectively refused to follow new owner Massimo Cellino's request of moving to Leeds. The plan was for the players to become a close-knit squad, capable of obtaining an ever elusiv...

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Game Of Thrones Producer Determined To Feature Every British Actor With A Pulse Sooner Or Later

Funny story: Game Of Thrones Producer Determined To Feature Every British Actor With A Pulse Sooner Or Later

Game of Thrones producers have announced that they are close to accomplishing what no other TV show has done before; cast, in some form or another - every actor born in the UK. Already having featured every British thespian born in Scotland, North...

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Good Samaritan Is Actually A Total Prick

A good Samaritan, who helped an old lady across a busy street in Fort Lauderdale, has been revealed to be a total and utter 'cunt' by family members, and not the caring passer-by who helps old people. "When I read about this 'Good Samaritan', who...

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US Border Patrol Invokes Nancy Reagan's Anti-Drug Mantra "Just Say No" To Solve Child Immigrant Problem.

The head of the U.S. Border Patrol, James Bratcatcher, highly stressed from dealing with the sudden influx of children and young mothers with children from Latin America, has claimed that a solution to the international problem came to him in a dream...

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Dawn of The Planet Of The Apes Disappointment - Man Threatens To Sue

A Tybee Island man is threatening to sue 20th Century Fox for misrepresentation after watching the sequel to the 2011 film Rise of the Planet of the Apes; Dawn of The Planet Apes. Scott Parker, 34, has filed suit claiming that after viewing the mo...

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GM finds the cause of its ignition switch debacle

Funny story: GM finds the cause of its ignition switch debacle

Detroit - Rabbits' feet have proven to be unlucky for what used to be the world's largest car maker. The key chain charms have been fingered by General Motors engineers as the cause for sudden ignition shutdown that could affect millions of vehicles.

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Jerry Springer Nearly Dies and Goes to Hell; Rumble Ensues

Funny story: Jerry Springer Nearly Dies and Goes to Hell; Rumble Ensues

HELL---Longtime tabloid talk show host Jerry Springer was pronounced dead from a gorilla attack on Friday, soon after beginning his Final Thought segment at the end of the show, but was eventually revived by EMTs at the scene. Friday's show, which...

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Obama the worst president since World War III

Funny story: Obama the worst president since World War III

Washington - A poll commissioned ahead of Independence Day has voted Barack Obama as America's worst ever president since George W Bush started the Arab World War III. Second worst was Dubya himself followed closely by George Bush Senior, Preside...

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De Blasio meets the Godfather; outsources NYPD to the Mob

Funny story: De Blasio meets the Godfather; outsources NYPD to the Mob

Rome - Snubbed by The Holy Father, New York Mayor Bill de Blasio had a private audience with The Godfather on the first day of his Italian vacation. The meeting paid off immediately, with the mob boss agreeing to take over the operation of the New Yo...

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Pregnancy rumors as Serena Williams pulls out early

Funny story: Pregnancy rumors as Serena Williams pulls out early

Wimbledon, London - World number one seed Serena Williams is up the duff if Wimbledon tournament rumors are to be believed. A 3-0 game of double faults saw the winner of 32 Majors pull out early citing women's problems and a 'lack of balls'. U...

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Former NY Mayor Bloomberg, Michelle Obama Fight Release of Upcoming Movie, 'The Splurge'

Funny story: Former NY Mayor Bloomberg, Michelle Obama Fight Release of Upcoming Movie, 'The Splurge'

New York City - Warner Bros. studio has announced plans to make a new movie called 'The Splurge' after the success of 'The Purge' films. But not everyone is happy about the idea. 'The Splurge' is about a 12-hour period one night each year when...

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Extend Your Shitty, Meaningless Existence With the Nutrirocket Food Extractor!

Funny story: Extend Your Shitty, Meaningless Existence With the Nutrirocket Food Extractor!

The Nutrirocket food extractor is the latest, most scientifically-proven way to extend one's painful, lost existence indefinitely. Thanks to the most innovative in 21st century euphemisms, we have magically turned a 40 dollar blender into a $120.00 (...

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Nebraska First State to Prohibit Texting While in an Accident

The state of Nebraska has passed strict regulations prohibiting texting while in a car accident. They have added the clause describing any such accident as "fatal or not," adding what they consider to be "real strength" to the law. A spokespers...

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ISIS leader Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi makes shocking confession in rogue Mosul nightclub The Burqa al-Ablah

Funny story: ISIS leader Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi makes shocking confession in rogue Mosul nightclub The Burqa al-Ablah

No sooner was I back in Baghdad from the journey to Mosul with Hillary than I got this strange call on my cell. I was at my favorite cheap digs, the Hotel Alzubra, ready to move back towards Syria, but it was Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi saying I should return north to Mosul. "If this is Warezabar," the voice said, "I have something. Urgent." "This is Pepe Warezabar." "Yes?" His English is...

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Obama Dumps Two Bus Loads of Illegal Kids on Palin's Driveway

Funny story: Obama Dumps Two Bus Loads of Illegal Kids on Palin's Driveway

It was anything but a normal morning at Todd and Sarah Palin's Wasilla Alaska home. "I thought it was the garbage truck" said a befuddled Todd Palin "Then we heard all of these people outside, I thought it was just some fans, but then I looked out t...

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Muslim Brotherhood Makes Strongest Threats to Western Nations Yet

Funny story: Muslim Brotherhood Makes Strongest Threats to Western Nations Yet

Egypt - Leaders of the Muslim Brotherhood and members of ISIS have made their strongest and most hard-hitting threats so far toward the United States in their bid to thwart US intervention into affairs in the Middle East. The Brotherhood has h...

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New Study Shows Blood of Newborn Babies Is Harmful to Health and the Environment

Funny story: New Study Shows Blood of Newborn Babies Is Harmful to Health and the Environment

Breaking research from the public interest group Consumers Committee for Responsible Consumption (CCRC) shows that the blood of newborn babies, long-touted for its high iron content and other supposed health benefits, is actually detrimental not only...

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Detroit Tigers Infielder Suffers "Cash" Injury

Wilfred "Willie" Makett, star shortstop and fan favorite of the Detroit Tigers broke his right leg last night in a freak accident at his home during the All-Star break and will be sidelined for the balance of the season. He told hospital personnel th...

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Putin Tired of Disengaged Obama, Threatens to Bomb US Golf Courses

Funny story: Putin Tired of Disengaged Obama, Threatens to Bomb US Golf Courses

Moscow - Russian President Putin has become bored with not having a worthy adversary on the foreign policy landscape due to President Obama's lack of interest in world affairs. The Russian leader always welcomes a challenge and believes having a...

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For First Time, Hard Drive Crashes Surpasses Car Crashes in Washington DC

Funny story: For First Time, Hard Drive Crashes Surpasses Car Crashes in Washington DC

Washington D.C. - An epidemic of hard drive crashes is sweeping this city and, for the first time in history, the number has exceeded the total number of car crashes that have occurred within the city limits since 2011. It is truly uncanny how man...

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67% of all happy Facebook updates posted by people with miserable lives, study

Funny story: 67% of all happy Facebook updates posted by people with miserable lives, study

HARFOLD, Vt. - A study released this week by Harfold State College indicates that at least two out of every three happy Facebook status updates are posted by pathetic sons-of-bitches with miserable lives. Junior Bertrand Russell produced his Faceb...

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Michael Douglas cancer advice rejected by JP Morgan boss

Funny story: Michael Douglas cancer advice rejected by JP Morgan boss

New York - The Oscar-winning producer of One Blue Over The Cuckoo's Nest famously blamed his now-cured throat cancer on a bout of dodgy oral sex in a 'tasteless' quip that wife Catherine Zeta Jones said had left her feeling uncomfortable and down in...

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Pres. Obama Goes Strong to Hoop on Border Security, Issues New # Campaign

Funny story: Pres. Obama Goes Strong to Hoop on Border Security, Issues New # Campaign

Texas - In a move to signal to the nation how serious he is on solving the border crisis in Texas, President Obama launched a new Twitter campaign aimed at forcing the hordes of illegal immigrants trying to come into our country to instantly lose...

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Massive Mexican red rump tarantula on the run in NYC: reported sighting at Kerry Kennedy condo

Funny story: Massive Mexican red rump tarantula on the run in NYC: reported sighting at Kerry Kennedy condo

New York - A mean-looking pregnant giant Mexican red rump tarantula, Brachypelma vagans, on the loose in Park Slope, NYC, has been reported scurrying close to the human frights lawyer's home. This morning CCTV cameras picked up strange arachnid m...

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Dollar Counterfeiter Jailed for Life

Funny story: Dollar Counterfeiter Jailed for Life

Gotfried Right was today jailed for life at a ground-breaking trial in the Superior Court of San Francisco. Gotfried, a professor of graphic design at the Academy of Art had set up a printing press in his garage and proceeded to print what the prosec...

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Obama Allowing White House to Deteriorate; Gets Ticket for Blight

Funny story: Obama Allowing White House to Deteriorate; Gets Ticket for Blight

Washington, DC Republican Speaker of the House John Boehner admitted calling the police on President Obama due to what he said was "terrible blight" conditions at the White House. "Obama has let the grass get knee-high, with a couple of junk cars...

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Michelle Obama Vows to Defend Her School Lunch Program "Til the Bitter End"

Funny story: Michelle Obama Vows to Defend Her School Lunch Program "Til the Bitter End"

Minneapolis - While it's not exactly a "Remember the Alamo!" battle cry, First Lady Michelle Obama is screeching that she will defend her signature school lunch program 'til the bitter end.' Ironically, this is how a majority of Americans view...

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Susan Rice Sent to Russia to Assist Putin in Cover-Up of Malaysian Airline Disaster

Funny story: Susan Rice Sent to Russia to Assist Putin in Cover-Up of Malaysian Airline Disaster

Washington D.C. - Ambassador to the United Nations, Susan Rice, has been dispatched to Russia by President Obama to assist President Putin in his cover-up attempt to hide the damage his soldiers did when they murdered nearly 300 innocent people a...

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Suicide Donkey Explodes in Hamas Terror Plot, Hundreds Get Free Piece of Ass

Funny story: Suicide Donkey Explodes in Hamas Terror Plot, Hundreds Get Free Piece of Ass

Gaza - Ok, so the title of this article is the only remotely funny part of this story and is really just to get your attention. This latest attempt to kill innocents in the Middle East by using animals as a way to get bombs close to crowds in...

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Angry Liberals Vow to Open New Chain of Stores Called 'Snobby Lobby'

Boston - Liberals are seething over the Supreme Court decision which allows Hobby Lobby to not have to offer certain birth control products which they believe induce abortions and which violate their religious beliefs. Hateful people took to t...

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Inflation Has Pushed Price of "Your Thoughts" to 9.5 Cents: Most Thoughts Not Worth The Investment

Funny story: Inflation Has Pushed Price of "Your Thoughts" to 9.5 Cents: Most Thoughts Not Worth The Investment

Wall Street - Economic inflation has pushed the price of "your thoughts" to nine and a half cents ($0.095) and most investment experts agree that it is usually an extremely bad investment yielding not only no actual positive return, but it has the po...

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Prince Phillip's Hands Stuck Behind His Back For 3 Hours In Derrek Brown Stunt

Funny story: Prince Phillip's Hands Stuck Behind His Back For 3 Hours In Derrek Brown Stunt

A Royal Performance by a mixture of Variety and Illusionist acts to mark Prince Phillip's Lifetime Award for not doing very much was topped by a spectacular hypnotic trick by Derrek Brown. Prince Phillip was convinced by Brown that his hands were...

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Obama Finally Approves Keystone Pipeline - To Funnel Illegals to Canada!

Washington D.C. - President Obama thinks he hit a home run today with his solution to the ever-looming Keystone Pipeline project that has been haunting him for several years now. The president has decided to have the pipeline constructed and use i...

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Rock hits Netanyahu limo he calls in air strikes and tanks

Funny story: Rock hits Netanyahu limo he calls in air strikes and tanks

The office of Prime Minister Benjamin "Bibi" Netanyahu has explained obliteration of four twelve year old Palestinian boys yesterday was due to a likely connection to Hamas rockets buried nearby. According to witnesses the boys were playing near t...

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Fast Food Industry Rampant With Falsified Resumes Says Doctoral Student

Funny story: Fast Food Industry Rampant With Falsified Resumes Says Doctoral Student

Iowa City - A doctoral student at The University of Iowa has uncovered a startling number of falsified resumes within the fast food industry. Ichabod Alchemy was working on his thesis which is a study of underlying economic trends that affect the...

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Caliph of new Islamic State of Humbuggia opens US embassy, sends Tony Blair as peace envoy

Funny story: Caliph of new Islamic State of Humbuggia opens US embassy, sends Tony Blair as peace envoy

Washington DC - Located in a damp and ugly 200 sq ft teardown behind Bladensburg Metrobus garage at 2251 26th Street NE the new legation's HQ aint's exactly swish by international diplomatic standards. But hey, it's about to get a fab five hundre...

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Iranian World Cup Squad given their country's highest honor

Funny story: Iranian World Cup Squad given their country's highest honor

With the Football world cup winding down, there has been a number of different reactions to teams as they head back to their respective countries. One team that was especially nervous before the world cup was Iran. They failed to win a single...

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Tree Wonders If Anyone Heard It Fall

Middle Of Nowhere, Montana - Doug Fir, a 200-year-old coniferous evergreen, took a tumble last week while enjoying his afternoon of standing in the same spot he'd been in his whole life thus far and swaying in the breeze. "The wind all of a sudde...

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Anti Abortion Activists Express Outrage Over Aborted Landing At Barcelona Airport

Funny story: Anti Abortion Activists Express Outrage Over Aborted Landing At Barcelona Airport

Washington D.C. - The Susan B. Anthony List (SBA List), an organization whose stated purpose is "Advancing Pro-Life Leadership", has released a strongly-worded statement condemning the recent aborted landing by a 767 jetliner at Barcelona's El Prat A...

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Goodell: Red Bull More Integrity-Damaging Than Smacking A Mouthy Broad

MANHATTAN -- NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell has announced that he will no longer penalize players for domestic violence, noting that consuming large doses of performance-enhancing Red Bull tarnishes the integrity of the game much more than smacking a...

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Supreme court decision money speaks with first amendment rights and personhood affects whistleblowers

Funny story: Supreme court decision money speaks with first amendment rights and personhood affects whistleblowers

Today's Supreme Court decision, that money (as with "money speaks") is entitled to first amendment protection and the rights of personhood, has again been hailed with the word "freeeedomm!" on conservative twitter sites. This new "money speaks" de...

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Bridge Collapses, Drowning 22 Tea Party Activists

Funny story: Bridge Collapses, Drowning 22 Tea Party Activists

HUNTINGTON, WV--The Robert C. Byrd Bridge, a bridge spanning the Ohio River between Chesapeake, OH and Huntington, WV, collapsed on Thursday, killing twenty-two members of the Tea Party Movement. The Tea Party activists were reportedly on their way...

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First Lady Wants to Hire Nuns to Discipline Unhealthy Shoppers

Funny story: First Lady Wants to Hire Nuns to Discipline Unhealthy Shoppers

San Francisco - First Lady Michelle Obama has unveiled her latest plans for getting the nation to adopt her healthy eating guidelines and this one might hurt a bit. After tackling the country's school lunch program and transforming it into a train...

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End Of World Cult Family Get On Wrong Spaceship

Funny story: End Of World Cult Family Get On Wrong Spaceship

Four members of a doomsday cult, calling themselves Scientopolists and followers of Ronnette L. "Old Mother" Hubbard have been taken away by a spacecraft with huge colored lights making strange "Close Encounter" type musical notes, from Area 51 nea...

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Women Get Advice On Fox On How To Succeed

Funny story: Women Get Advice On Fox On How To Succeed

A Fox & Friends segment on Monday warned women looking to succeed in business "not to raise their voices" and not to talk too much. Fox News host Steve Doocy introduced Sylvia Ann Hewlett, author of "Executive Presence." She suggested that w...

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Don't Do Stupid Sh*t party steps forward to challenge duopoly

Funny story: Don't Do Stupid Sh*t party steps forward to challenge duopoly

The new DDSS party, inspired direct from President Obama's name for his foreign policy, the "Don't Do Stupid Sh*t" policy, is set for a two year run to take the Presidency. It emphasizes program, not personality. A founding principle begins: "We h...

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'Some ass radicalised him' as suicide donkey wreaks Gaza havoc

Funny story: 'Some ass radicalised him' as suicide donkey wreaks Gaza havoc

Palestine - Mossad is hunting a gang of radicalised drug mules that strapped a bomb belt onto a three year-old donkey that blew up in the Rafah area of the Gaza Strip today. Israeli bomb squad farces said they used a frozen lollipop to lure the b...

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Palin: Impeach LeBron As King Of Basketball

PANDERING FALLS, ALASKA -- Sarah Palin is calling for the impeachment of LeBron James as the king of basketball, noting his pursuit of a max deal at the expense of loyalty to his most recent employer, the Miami Heat, is despicable, reprehensible, loa...

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A game of two Popes as Frankie the Argie and Benedict the Kraut post hexes for Sunday's World Cup final

Funny story: A game of two Popes as Frankie the Argie and Benedict the Kraut post hexes for Sunday's World Cup final

Rio de Janeiro, Brazil - The new Vatican hex-messaging service has kicked into action with Pope Francis and Pope Benedict both tweeting like crazy about their influence with 'Him Upstairs'. Online oddsmakers Aintgottaprayer.con has responded acco...

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Michael Moore, Hillary Clinton Both Check Into Wealth Rehab Facility

Funny story: Michael Moore, Hillary Clinton Both Check Into Wealth Rehab Facility

Malibu, CA - Sometimes you have to hit rock bottom before you seek out professional help. Such is the case with two well-known people in recent weeks. Michael Moore and Hillary Clinton have both checked themselves into a Wealth Rehab clinic after...

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'Water Cops' to Catch Wasters in California on New Reality Show

Funny story: 'Water Cops' to Catch Wasters in California on New Reality Show

Santa Cruz, CA - "Bad Buoys, Bad Buoys, whatcha gonna do, whatcha gonna do when they come for you?" You might recognize the theme song for the newest reality show to debut from California amidst their worst drought in years and ongoing, severe water...

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The Devil Pussy invades!

Funny story: The Devil Pussy invades!

An elderly couple recently told how they were terrorised in their own home for three days by a cat! Royston Munt needed hospital treatment after being attacked by the intruder, which got in through a bedroom window. Retired taxidermist and WW2...

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TV Judge Alex Wants To Decide Pending House Lawsuit Against President Obama-Sources

Funny story: TV Judge Alex Wants To Decide Pending House Lawsuit Against President Obama-Sources

Washington DC-Florida judge Alex Ferrer, the host of the syndicated courtroom TV show Judge Alex, is purportedly talking to representatives of President Barack Obama and House of Representatives Speak John Boehner about hearing the lawsuit which the...

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Pope Blessing of Eternal Life for Soccer Players

Funny story: Pope Blessing of Eternal Life for Soccer Players

Pope Francis has announced that the Vatican will become a major sponsor of sporting events such as the FIFA World Cup and the Olympics, and called on churches around the world to get more involved in sporting events in their communities. In conti...

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Seinfeld Injured In Auto Accident Filming Episode of 'Comedians Getting Coffee'

Jerry Seinfeld, former network star, was involved in an auto accident yesterday while filming an episode of "Comedians In Cars Getting Coffee" in Branson, Missouri. According to the Branson Police Department five people, including Mr. Seinfeld and...

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Soccer Players Part of "Homosexual Abomination"

Funny story: Soccer Players Part of "Homosexual Abomination"

An Orthodox Russian priest is celebrating Russia's loss in the World Cup. This is because it's all part of a "homosexual abomination" plan to oppose Christianity. Father Alexander Shumsky has apparently determined this by looking at the brightly...

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Michelle Obama Denies 'Blood Feud' With Clintons: "We Only Played 'Family Feud' With Them"

Funny story: Michelle Obama Denies 'Blood Feud' With Clintons: "We Only Played 'Family Feud' With Them"

Washington D.C. - After the release of the top-selling book by Ed Klein, "Blood Feud," Michelle Obama has come forward to clear the air about reported animosity between America's two royal families - The Obamas and the Clintons. "There never was a...

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Putting Rosie O'Donnell Back on 'The View' Bad Idea, Like Putting Hillary Back in White House

Funny story: Putting Rosie O'Donnell Back on 'The View' Bad Idea, Like Putting Hillary Back in White House

New York City - Saturday Night Live had their skit for 'Bad Idea Jeans.' Some ideas, even if they worked okay the first time, are just bad ideas the second time around. The latest example of this skewed thinking is the return of Rosie O'Donnel...

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Package Holiday Company Offers Fungus Collecting Breaks In Llandudno To Compete With Egyptian Scuba Diving Packages

Funny story: Package Holiday Company Offers Fungus Collecting Breaks In Llandudno To Compete With Egyptian Scuba Diving Packages

Plenty of driving rain and overcast skies, muddy beaches, dilapidated resorts, cultural heritage and spectacular pre-glacial and post-glacial peat bogs, Wales is the perfect destination for a family mould spotting holiday. For most tourists, a h...

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Drunken Germans Celebrate World Cup Win By Invading Poland

HOFBRAUHAUS, MUNICH -- Germany continued its World Cup championship celebration Monday, as its highly intoxicated and blindly aggressive government ordered troops to invade Poland. "After a few dozen steins of Augustiner Maximator, we got a little...

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Blame Russia and Putin (BRAP) Day to become annual rite and special holiday like July 4

Funny story: Blame Russia and Putin (BRAP) Day to become annual rite and special holiday like July 4

A new movement for a special day of celebration is popular with the President, backed by Senator McCain, with enthusiasm showing in the mainstream press. The Blame Russia and Putin Day, or BRAP Day, is gathering steam. A summer day, probably in...

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Long-Lost Child About to Knock on Your Door

Your Home, USA - Sources have reported that the child you have abandoned years ago is on your front step right now and is gearing up to knock on your door. The child, who was conceived 13 years ago at a Red Roof Inn Motel out by the airport, has t...

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Ancient biblical ambergris litters site of Jonah's Tomb destruction

Funny story: Ancient biblical ambergris litters site of Jonah's Tomb destruction

Mosul, Iraq - The wanton bombing of a Mosul mosque today saw much of the Iraqi city spattered with nearly half a ton of fossilised biliary secretion from the guts of an Old Testament sperm whale that did for the prophet Jonah. The seer was buried...

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Illegal Immigrants Admit They Came to U.S. for Glenn Beck's Free Soccer Balls

Funny story: Illegal Immigrants Admit They Came to U.S. for Glenn Beck's Free Soccer Balls

McAllen, TX - A Honduran woman accidentally let the cat out of the bag yesterday when she unwittingly explained to a reporter the real reason she and tens of thousands of her fellow Latin American citizens travelled thousands of miles was for the...

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Bowe Bergdahl Captured by Immigration Reform Activists

Funny story: Bowe Bergdahl Captured by Immigration Reform Activists

Seargant Bowe Bergdahl, the soldier held prisoner by the Taliban in Afghanistan for five years, is reportedly once again a Prisoner of War. Just days after being returned to active duty, the Pentagon announced today that Bergdahl sent his father an e...

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MSNBC's Chris Matthews Volunteers as Tribute for Any Obama Impeachment

Funny story: MSNBC's Chris Matthews Volunteers as Tribute for Any Obama Impeachment

New York City - As the "I" word starts to gain traction in the national media for President Obama, Chris Matthews broke down on air today and offered himself up as tribute as a preemptive hit against any possible future impeachment attempts towar...

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A Golden Treasury of Kennedy Family Mattress Stains Published

Funny story: A Golden Treasury of Kennedy Family Mattress Stains Published

New York - Decades of off piste shagging have brought Robert F Kennedy Jr to his carpet-burnt knees. Cited as a co-respondent in a former squeeze's divorce case RFK's cell phone directory of cheap and tacky hos was being touted as exhibit one in N...

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Baby Naming Business

Funny story: Baby Naming Business

A baby naming business born in Boulder, Colorado, in January is doing remarkably well. What started as an expectant father searching for the perfect name, owner Michael Scholes says he is now creating hundreds of names a month for other people. "...

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Joran van der Sloot Marries Next Victim in Prison

Funny story: Joran van der Sloot Marries Next Victim in Prison

Lima, Peru - In what promises to be a future Disney love-story movie, murderer and all around bad guy Joran van der Sloot married a psychotic chick this week in prison, where he met and impregnated the brainless female. Van der Sloot, who gained n...

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Skippy the bush kangaroo comes forward after years of abuse by Rolf Harris

Funny story: Skippy the bush kangaroo comes forward after years of abuse by Rolf Harris

Skippy the bush kangaroo, the iconic television star of the show of the same name has come forward after years of abuse. In a tearful display exhibiting sadness and shock, she explained what had happened between her and Harris. Rolf Harris has been s...

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NewsCorpse 'Fake Sheikh' appointed head of Mossad PR

Funny story: NewsCorpse 'Fake Sheikh' appointed head of Mossad PR

Tel Aviv - A professional confidence trickster specialising in celebrity stings has been hired by the Israeli secret service ahead of all out war on Hamas. Mazher Mahmood, former Murdoch investigative reporter (sic) and suspected serial perjurer...

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Statue of Liberty to be replaced with new structure that looks like a New York police officer

Funny story: Statue of Liberty to be replaced with new structure that looks like a New York police officer

Spearheaded by Senator John McCain, a new bipartisan movement inside the Congress is working toward tearing down and replacing the Statue of Liberty. So far no one in the government has raised any objections, with the President himself saying, "We...

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Two Artists to Record New "We Are the World" Song for Border Immigrants

Funny story: Two Artists to Record New "We Are the World" Song for Border Immigrants

Los Angeles - It has been announced that Prince and Bono will team up to record a follow-up to the 1980's anthem "We Are the World" to raise public awareness about the latest immigration crisis along our southern border. Many other artists wer...

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Pope tells Russian Orthodox Patriarch he's going to hell over Malaysian aircraft outrage

Funny story: Pope tells Russian Orthodox Patriarch he's going to hell over Malaysian aircraft outrage

Rome - And what's more he's cancelling his Holy Moscow Muff Chicks subscription, essential pontifical reading ahead of a merger with the Russian Orthodox Church. The protest also sees Frankie the Argie boycott Russian vodka, cocaine and caviar cu...

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Armageddon IS ... "The Bank of Atlantis "

Funny story: Armageddon IS ... "The Bank of Atlantis "

Olaf Soxoff, a German-Swiss skier has alerted the world to an incredible find. An experienced veteran of the piste, the sixty-three years old Olaf decided to try an unfamiliar route on the South side of Switzerland's highest mountain, the Matterhorn.

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Prime Minister Netanyahu Goes Fundraising Amid Country in Turmoil

Funny story: Prime Minister Netanyahu Goes Fundraising Amid Country in Turmoil

Tel Aviv - With his country deep in the midst of major crises and problems which demand his attention, including the current war with Hamas, Prime Minister Netanyahu headed out today for a quick cash-and-grab fundraising trip. The Prime Minist...

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Rescue drama as tidal surge of algal bloom swamps Starbucks CEO's Hamptons beachfront

Funny story: Rescue drama as tidal surge of algal bloom swamps Starbucks CEO's Hamptons beachfront

Long Island, NY - Long Island Pest Control lifeboats were out in force this weekend when a red tide of algal bloom slimed the beach at Howard Schultz's Gracie Lane teardown bringing phytoplanktonic chaos (WTF dat? - 'Ed') to the East Hampton spread.

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Fart smellers may be smart fellas after all: smelling farts can reduce disease, study

Funny story: Fart smellers may be smart fellas after all: smelling farts can reduce disease, study

HARFOLD, Vt - A new study at Harfold State College suggests that exposure to hydrogen sulfide gas, that is, what your body produces as bacteria breaks down food, could prevent mitochondria damage. This is good news for the Miss Harfold Diner which...

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NRA Endorses "Kill Your Own School Lunch Program"

Funny story: NRA Endorses "Kill Your Own School Lunch Program"

The NRA and GOP have finally found a free school lunch program that they feel comfortable endorsing. The "Kill Your Own School Lunch Program" is a pilot program in selected rural areas that teaches firearm safety, hunting, trapping and self sufficien...

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Smack my bitch up as Queen's corgi tests positive for skag

Funny story: Smack my bitch up as Queen's corgi tests positive for skag

London - One of Queen Elizardbirth's ghastly corgis has been caught shooting up heroin at a Kennel Club party. Royal Protection Racket sniffer dogs caught canine smack head Duchess Kate walking the dog in Rotten Row, London's top hangout for palac...

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Obama calls on Hillary for support with review of don't do stupid sh*t policy to traveling press corps aboard Air Force One

Funny story: Obama calls on Hillary for support with review of don't do stupid sh*t policy to traveling press corps aboard Air Force One

President Obama is once again aboard Air Force One giving the traveling press corps updates on his DDSS (don't do stupid sh*t) foreign policy. The world well remembers the formulation of this policy, aboard his jet, on the President's trip to Asia...

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After Suffering Exhaustion From Signing Executive Orders, President Needs Vacation

Funny story: After Suffering Exhaustion From Signing Executive Orders, President Needs Vacation

Washington D.C. - Next month, after a grueling schedule of signing executive orders, President Obama and his family will take a two week vacation to the dilapidated ruins of Martha's Vineyard, Mass., for some much needed rest. The president's...

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Scummy Pubs To Hire Doorman

Funny story: Scummy Pubs To Hire Doorman

Under a new Tory law, pubs that predominantly cater for the unemployed have to employ a thin, disheveled middle-aged man to smoke at the front door to ensure no upstanding citizens accidentally go in for a pint. The law, entitled 'fag means f**k o...

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