Nation's Poor Smoking More Crack Due To Pot Price Peak

Written by Wayne Davis

Monday, 21 July 2014

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Crack Is Back!

A new research study out today shows that the nations poor, as defined by poverty rates, are smoking more crack than ever now that legal pot prices are souring! "I can't even afford a roach now" said 22 year old stoner Cody Nevins. "Crack is by far the better value" Nevins added as he put his loose change into the CoinStar machine at his local Safeway.

Nevins is just one example of yet another poor person facing a new hardship,stuggling to keep food on the table and somekind of mind altering substance on hand. "I don't know what to do" said 35 year old Stacey Bigguns, "I don't want to go back to working the streets, but I just might". Local activists are planning at picket this weekend at Buds R Us a local pot store who's prices have skyrocketed in recent weeks putting pressure on a already tight market.

Crack sales on the other hand are out of control say local dealers who have not seen this kind of demand since the late 1980's. "The crowds, the demands, its like Korea out there", said local crack dealer and all around no good Taylor (no bones) Beckett. "I can't no way keep up with the demands from these cracker moms". "They are like walking dead, you set one up and ten more pop up, you cant turn your back on em".

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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