Obscure Zoroastrian cult has infiltrated the Pentagon

Funny story written by queen mudder

Wednesday, 23 July 2014

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Decrypted message reveals stark warning

Washington DC - A fire-worshiping cult behind state religion in the Achaemenid, Parthian, Sasanian and Arachnid empires has seized control of the Pentagon, specifically aircon and life support in the highly classified Restricted Wing.

A statement issued this morning by the Grand Master of the Zoroastrian Temple of the Apocalyptic Numbers said resistance is futile and up yours Chuck Hagel.

There then followed a coded warning written in Farsi on Bank Smelli Iran, New York branch, official company letterhead.

The evil institution was shut down by the Feds in 2010 for violating Shatt El-Arab conspiracy theories - despite a burgeoning petrodollar balance shit in its NYC operations.

FBI prosecutors condemned the Tehran-headquartered fly-by-night racketeer for use of scaremongering tactics against Wall Street traders caught up in the notorious Barclays 'dark pools' scam.

QM-NewsCorpse stringers have managed to obtain a decrypted translation of the Farsi warning which paints a very stark picture of what's to come:

Gozer will come in one of the pre-chosen forms. During the rectification of the Vuldrini, he came as a large and moving Torg. Then during the third reconciliation of the last of the McKetrick supplicants a new form was chosen for him of a giant Slor. Plenty of Shuvs and Zuuls knew that day what it was to be roasted in the depths of the Slor...

The Ayatollah of Chadwell Heath is 69.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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