There were 325 spoof news stories published in July 2014. A selection of the most popular stories is shown here. You can use the calendar on the right hand side to get news stories from a day in this month.
Think INSIDE the Box, An Expert Advises
As Bob Dylan croons, "The Times They Are A-Changin'." For years, experts had advised thinking OUTSIDE the box. Be different and unconventional, we were told. Look in areas where no one else is looking. Find unique solutions. The problem is -- everyone who is anyone began thinking OUTSIDE the box. It's become too crowded out there. Thinking OUTSIDE the box has become the conventional,...
Read full storyBritish PM to freeze the nuts off Roman Abramovich's assets as anti-Putin sanctions start to bite
London - An anti-Putin groundswell is threatening to explode into the murky world of oligarch assets like Roman Abramovich's London gold vaults. On Monday British Prime Minister David Cameron will sign an order for Diplomatic Protection Racket cop...
Read full storyRoman Abramovich and Shah of Persia's heir presumptive forced to walk as cops bust chauffeurs in unlicensed taxi crackdown
New York - Russian mobster Roman Abramovich and Persian royal wannabe Reza Pahlavi are among dozens of foreign VIPs ousted from their respective armor plated SUVs this week and made to walk in a NYPD crackdown on unlicensed taxi drivers. Adding i...
Read full storyGrief, Sadness and Then Anger At Tragic Loss of Live Overwhelms Social Media
Social media was a buzz with outpourings of immense grief, a sense of universal loss and then feelings of anger; after it was announced actor James Garner, whose whimsical style in the 1950s TV Western "Maverick" led to a stellar career in TV and fil...
Read full storyGame Of Thrones Producer Determined To Feature Every British Actor With A Pulse Sooner Or Later
Game of Thrones producers have announced that they are close to accomplishing what no other TV show has done before; cast, in some form or another - every actor born in the UK. Already having featured every British thespian born in Scotland, North...
Read full storyCrop circle circumcises Cerne Abbas Giant's dick
Cerne Abbas, Dorset - A crop circle has been blamed for emasculating the huge erect penis of a 180ft ancient Neolithic colossus known as the Cerne Abbas Dick. Uh, Giant. Carved into a Dorset chalk hillock over 10,000 years ago the club-wielding f...
Read full storyJürgen Klinsmann Refused Re-entry Into United States
US Soccer coach, German born Jürgen Klinsmann has been denied entry back into the United States after immigration officers held him for 8 hours for questioning before deporting him back to Germany. Klinsmann, 49, who was born in Göppingen, West Ge...
Read full storySkippy the bush kangaroo comes forward after years of abuse by Rolf Harris
Skippy the bush kangaroo, the iconic television star of the show of the same name has come forward after years of abuse. In a tearful display exhibiting sadness and shock, she explained what had happened between her and Harris. Rolf Harris has been s...
Read full storyBBC To Change Mastermind So That Taxi Drivers Can't Win It
BBC Chiefs, concerned at the tendency of taxi drivers to walk away with glass bowl handouts every series have consulted the makers of the American highbrow quiz show "Big Dollar Box, Little Dollar Box" presented by Ricky Edmunds. In the show, a mixtu...
Read full storyWe'll Never See Yesterday Again Announce Scientists
Science Town, OZ Many people who state they wish they could return to yesterday or yesteryear were severely disappointed today when the results of the latest scientific studies were announced. "After much research, we have arrived at the conclusio...
Read full storyTough Guy Orlando Bloom Scares The Shit Out Of Tinsel Town
Born on the mean streets of Canterbury, British tough guy - actor Orlando Bloom - knows a thing or two about violence. Raised by a pair of hippies, Bloom was well known for his fighting skills - he was after all the leader of the Canterbury Cunts -...
Read full storyObama Joins Everyone Else In Blaming Obama For Everything
"I blame President Obama for this," said an angry President Obama as traffic snarled on the I-95 just south of D.C. Honking his horn and cursing at other road users the angry President shook his head, "This is his fault, this traffic jam - and this s...
Read full storyISIS leader Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi makes shocking confession in rogue Mosul nightclub The Burqa al-Ablah
No sooner was I back in Baghdad from the journey to Mosul with Hillary than I got this strange call on my cell. I was at my favorite cheap digs, the Hotel Alzubra, ready to move back towards Syria, but it was Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi saying I should return north to Mosul. "If this is Warezabar," the voice said, "I have something. Urgent." "This is Pepe Warezabar." "Yes?" His English is...
Read full storyWorld Cup souvenir lets fans control time
Zürich, Switzerland - Busy soccer fans can now extend their hectic days with a new World Cup innovation from FIFA. Called My Time™, the futbol souvenir puts the power of soccer scheduling into the hands of ordinary spectators. Delivered wit...
Read full storyGM finds the cause of its ignition switch debacle
Detroit - Rabbits' feet have proven to be unlucky for what used to be the world's largest car maker. The key chain charms have been fingered by General Motors engineers as the cause for sudden ignition shutdown that could affect millions of vehicles.
Read full storyScientists say, "there could be no limit to the number of Baldwin Brothers!"
Everyone knows Alec Baldwin, surely? And you might think that he is the only Baldwin, or maybe he has one brother, probably Stephen. You'd only know that because you saw him on late night tv or in that one good movie where he played an escape c...
Read full storyPoodle Glass - Google's Shocking Amendment
And BOOM!!! Google HQ exploded to bits. Just as they had their amazing "Google Glass" on the Product Line. "Google thought everything was over", said Google C.E.O Larry Smith. "Alas, until thy young , innocent pink poodle appeared from out of the...
Read full storySarah Palin Says Her Grandpa Used Dinosaurs to Plow the Fields
SOMEWHERE IN ALASKA Former vice-presidential candidate and governor of Alaska Sarah Palin, a devout creationist, stated today that it was true that dinosaurs and homo sapiens existed at the same time because she remembers that her grandparents had to...
Read full storyJK Rowling Plans Crime Spree
JK Rowling, whose crime novels written under the pseudonym Robert Galbraith will eventually outnumber her Harry Potter books, has announced that she is planning a crime spree. Our informant "Mick", who generally hangs out at the bus station rubb...
Read full storyThe Three Abrahamic Religions to Battle It Out in a Cage Fight
JERUSALEM--Settling, once and for all, the Old Testament challenge, "Whose God is greater, mine or thine?" the three Abrahamic religions--Judaism, Christianity, and Islam--will meet in a cage fight in Jerusalem next week. Three champions have been c...
Read full storyUSA Fury As Prince Harry of England Scores In Extra Time
American soccer fans are furious after being knocked out of the World Cup thanks to a goal from third in line to the British throne, Prince Harry. Despite the scoreboard showing the goal, scored in the seventh minute of extra time, being credited...
Read full storyNebraska First State to Prohibit Texting While in an Accident
The state of Nebraska has passed strict regulations prohibiting texting while in a car accident. They have added the clause describing any such accident as "fatal or not," adding what they consider to be "real strength" to the law. A spokespers...
Read full storyBloomberg packed a parachute on his Tel Aviv flight
New York - Former mayor Michael Bloomberg personally demonstrated the safety of flying commercial jets to Tel Aviv recently, with a well executed publicity stunt in which he down played the threat of terrorist rockets that have been raining down on t...
Read full storyCreationist Scientists Say Big Bang Happened 5,000 Years Ago
Xanadu The Creationist Scientist League announced during their annual convention today that they have come to an agreement that the Big Bang actually did occur, but it was actually just 5,000 years ago and resulted in a big garden with a couple of tr...
Read full storyBlame it on the size of the glass... or the toilet bowl
Research is important because the results can be quite revealing. Studies have repeatedly proved that what is taken for granted by common sense turns out to be mistaken. The most famous example is, of course, the shifting from the geocentric to th...
Read full storySoccer Players Part of "Homosexual Abomination"
An Orthodox Russian priest is celebrating Russia's loss in the World Cup. This is because it's all part of a "homosexual abomination" plan to oppose Christianity. Father Alexander Shumsky has apparently determined this by looking at the brightly...
Read full storyBridge Collapses, Drowning 22 Tea Party Activists
HUNTINGTON, WV--The Robert C. Byrd Bridge, a bridge spanning the Ohio River between Chesapeake, OH and Huntington, WV, collapsed on Thursday, killing twenty-two members of the Tea Party Movement. The Tea Party activists were reportedly on their way...
Read full storyGiant killer frogs attack nurses at prison hospital
Monroe, Wa. Correction officers at MCC (Monroe Correctional Complex) in Washington State have reported several unprovoked attacks by giant mutant frogs on workers at the prison. " They seem to be focused on the nursing staff;" officer Shirley L. s...
Read full storySuicide Donkey Explodes in Hamas Terror Plot, Hundreds Get Free Piece of Ass
Gaza - Ok, so the title of this article is the only remotely funny part of this story and is really just to get your attention. This latest attempt to kill innocents in the Middle East by using animals as a way to get bombs close to crowds in...
Read full storyDetroit Tigers Infielder Suffers "Cash" Injury
Wilfred "Willie" Makett, star shortstop and fan favorite of the Detroit Tigers broke his right leg last night in a freak accident at his home during the All-Star break and will be sidelined for the balance of the season. He told hospital personnel th...
Read full storyMichelle Obama Vows to Defend Her School Lunch Program "Til the Bitter End"
Minneapolis - While it's not exactly a "Remember the Alamo!" battle cry, First Lady Michelle Obama is screeching that she will defend her signature school lunch program 'til the bitter end.' Ironically, this is how a majority of Americans view...
Read full storyJerry Springer Nearly Dies and Goes to Hell; Rumble Ensues
HELL---Longtime tabloid talk show host Jerry Springer was pronounced dead from a gorilla attack on Friday, soon after beginning his Final Thought segment at the end of the show, but was eventually revived by EMTs at the scene. Friday's show, which...
Read full storyLeeds Players Refuse To Move To Leeds
The entire Leeds United Squad has been transfer listed after they collectively refused to follow new owner Massimo Cellino's request of moving to Leeds. The plan was for the players to become a close-knit squad, capable of obtaining an ever elusiv...
Read full storyNew Study Shows Blood of Newborn Babies Is Harmful to Health and the Environment
Breaking research from the public interest group Consumers Committee for Responsible Consumption (CCRC) shows that the blood of newborn babies, long-touted for its high iron content and other supposed health benefits, is actually detrimental not only...
Read full storyObama the worst president since World War III
Washington - A poll commissioned ahead of Independence Day has voted Barack Obama as America's worst ever president since George W Bush started the Arab World War III. Second worst was Dubya himself followed closely by George Bush Senior, Preside...
Read full storyFor Everyone to See: Divorce Notices via Jumbotron
Arlington, TX-A group of local divorce lawyers have teamed up with Jerry Jones, owner of the Dallas Cowboys, to offer a newfangled way of delivering divorce notices to spouses. They will put them on the over 3,000 Sony® LCD displays around th...
Read full storyUS Border Patrol Invokes Nancy Reagan's Anti-Drug Mantra "Just Say No" To Solve Child Immigrant Problem.
The head of the U.S. Border Patrol, James Bratcatcher, highly stressed from dealing with the sudden influx of children and young mothers with children from Latin America, has claimed that a solution to the international problem came to him in a dream...
Read full storyExtend Your Shitty, Meaningless Existence With the Nutrirocket Food Extractor!
The Nutrirocket food extractor is the latest, most scientifically-proven way to extend one's painful, lost existence indefinitely. Thanks to the most innovative in 21st century euphemisms, we have magically turned a 40 dollar blender into a $120.00 (...
Read full storyFormer NY Mayor Bloomberg, Michelle Obama Fight Release of Upcoming Movie, 'The Splurge'
New York City - Warner Bros. studio has announced plans to make a new movie called 'The Splurge' after the success of 'The Purge' films. But not everyone is happy about the idea. 'The Splurge' is about a 12-hour period one night each year when...
Read full storyEnvironmentalists Boldly Demand Obama to "Nuke the Coal"
SAN FRANCISCO, CA - Thousands of protestors in California gathered for public awareness on the threat of coal. "Imminent and complete extinction of all life on the planet" could occur before the next election if drastic measures are not taken, or som...
Read full storyMuslim Brotherhood Makes Strongest Threats to Western Nations Yet
Egypt - Leaders of the Muslim Brotherhood and members of ISIS have made their strongest and most hard-hitting threats so far toward the United States in their bid to thwart US intervention into affairs in the Middle East. The Brotherhood has h...
Read full storyDollar Counterfeiter Jailed for Life
Gotfried Right was today jailed for life at a ground-breaking trial in the Superior Court of San Francisco. Gotfried, a professor of graphic design at the Academy of Art had set up a printing press in his garage and proceeded to print what the prosec...
Read full storyAngry Liberals Vow to Open New Chain of Stores Called 'Snobby Lobby'
Boston - Liberals are seething over the Supreme Court decision which allows Hobby Lobby to not have to offer certain birth control products which they believe induce abortions and which violate their religious beliefs. Hateful people took to t...
Read full storyAnti Abortion Activists Express Outrage Over Aborted Landing At Barcelona Airport
Washington D.C. - The Susan B. Anthony List (SBA List), an organization whose stated purpose is "Advancing Pro-Life Leadership", has released a strongly-worded statement condemning the recent aborted landing by a 767 jetliner at Barcelona's El Prat A...
Read full storyFor First Time, Hard Drive Crashes Surpasses Car Crashes in Washington DC
Washington D.C. - An epidemic of hard drive crashes is sweeping this city and, for the first time in history, the number has exceeded the total number of car crashes that have occurred within the city limits since 2011. It is truly uncanny how man...
Read full storyDe Blasio meets the Godfather; outsources NYPD to the Mob
Rome - Snubbed by The Holy Father, New York Mayor Bill de Blasio had a private audience with The Godfather on the first day of his Italian vacation. The meeting paid off immediately, with the mob boss agreeing to take over the operation of the New Yo...
Read full story'Water Cops' to Catch Wasters in California on New Reality Show
Santa Cruz, CA - "Bad Buoys, Bad Buoys, whatcha gonna do, whatcha gonna do when they come for you?" You might recognize the theme song for the newest reality show to debut from California amidst their worst drought in years and ongoing, severe water...
Read full storyWomen Get Advice On Fox On How To Succeed
A Fox & Friends segment on Monday warned women looking to succeed in business "not to raise their voices" and not to talk too much. Fox News host Steve Doocy introduced Sylvia Ann Hewlett, author of "Executive Presence." She suggested that w...
Read full storyArmageddon IS ... "The Bank of Atlantis "
Olaf Soxoff, a German-Swiss skier has alerted the world to an incredible find. An experienced veteran of the piste, the sixty-three years old Olaf decided to try an unfamiliar route on the South side of Switzerland's highest mountain, the Matterhorn.
Read full storyPope Blessing of Eternal Life for Soccer Players
Pope Francis has announced that the Vatican will become a major sponsor of sporting events such as the FIFA World Cup and the Olympics, and called on churches around the world to get more involved in sporting events in their communities. In conti...
Read full storyObscure Zoroastrian cult has infiltrated the Pentagon
Washington DC - A fire-worshiping cult behind state religion in the Achaemenid, Parthian, Sasanian and Arachnid empires has seized control of the Pentagon, specifically aircon and life support in the highly classified Restricted Wing. A statement...
Read full storyObama Dumps Two Bus Loads of Illegal Kids on Palin's Driveway
It was anything but a normal morning at Todd and Sarah Palin's Wasilla Alaska home. "I thought it was the garbage truck" said a befuddled Todd Palin "Then we heard all of these people outside, I thought it was just some fans, but then I looked out t...
Read full storyGlobal Warming -or- How I Learned To Stop Worrying and Love the End of Civilization
Rambutt, Twaingo Province, UN Building, Kago Island, South Pacific (STT News) Today, news was finally released on the bitter facts of Preferred Acquired Global Warming (PAGW) and what to expect in the centuries before us. On the small island of K...
Read full storyPutin Tired of Disengaged Obama, Threatens to Bomb US Golf Courses
Moscow - Russian President Putin has become bored with not having a worthy adversary on the foreign policy landscape due to President Obama's lack of interest in world affairs. The Russian leader always welcomes a challenge and believes having a...
Read full storyInflation Has Pushed Price of "Your Thoughts" to 9.5 Cents: Most Thoughts Not Worth The Investment
Wall Street - Economic inflation has pushed the price of "your thoughts" to nine and a half cents ($0.095) and most investment experts agree that it is usually an extremely bad investment yielding not only no actual positive return, but it has the po...
Read full story67% of all happy Facebook updates posted by people with miserable lives, study
HARFOLD, Vt. - A study released this week by Harfold State College indicates that at least two out of every three happy Facebook status updates are posted by pathetic sons-of-bitches with miserable lives. Junior Bertrand Russell produced his Faceb...
Read full storyPregnancy rumors as Serena Williams pulls out early
Wimbledon, London - World number one seed Serena Williams is up the duff if Wimbledon tournament rumors are to be believed. A 3-0 game of double faults saw the winner of 32 Majors pull out early citing women's problems and a 'lack of balls'. U...
Read full storyBush Meat Suspected In African Virus Pandemic
Crawford, Texas - Thousands of packages of illicit bush meat labeled Rocky Mountain Oyster Delight have been traced to a bison testicle tickling - uh, pickling! - plant in Texas. A food hygiene standards swoop in Ebola-torn Sierra Leone this morn...
Read full storyThe bollock kicking machine
James Worldcup had been such a devout England supporter that the latest performance caused his devotion to turn to a form of controlled rage when he said "What is needed is a good kick in the bollocks". In discussion with his mates down the pub, t...
Read full storyDuncan Disorderly - Physio Sangster's Antics Astound
He put his left leg in, his left leg out, in out, in out and shaked it all about. Before the coach driver told him "You're not getting on my ruddy coach in that condition." This was not the first time that unconventional Forfar Athletic physio D...
Read full storyObama Allowing White House to Deteriorate; Gets Ticket for Blight
Washington, DC Republican Speaker of the House John Boehner admitted calling the police on President Obama due to what he said was "terrible blight" conditions at the White House. "Obama has let the grass get knee-high, with a couple of junk cars...
Read full storyJoran van der Sloot Marries Next Victim in Prison
Lima, Peru - In what promises to be a future Disney love-story movie, murderer and all around bad guy Joran van der Sloot married a psychotic chick this week in prison, where he met and impregnated the brainless female. Van der Sloot, who gained n...
Read full storyGood Samaritan Is Actually A Total Prick
A good Samaritan, who helped an old lady across a busy street in Fort Lauderdale, has been revealed to be a total and utter 'cunt' by family members, and not the caring passer-by who helps old people. "When I read about this 'Good Samaritan', who...
Read full storyLong-Lost Child About to Knock on Your Door
Your Home, USA - Sources have reported that the child you have abandoned years ago is on your front step right now and is gearing up to knock on your door. The child, who was conceived 13 years ago at a Red Roof Inn Motel out by the airport, has t...
Read full storySupreme court decision money speaks with first amendment rights and personhood affects whistleblowers
Today's Supreme Court decision, that money (as with "money speaks") is entitled to first amendment protection and the rights of personhood, has again been hailed with the word "freeeedomm!" on conservative twitter sites. This new "money speaks" de...
Read full storyGideon Bibles Popularity Due To People Making Emergency Rizla Papers Out Of Them
The secret of why there is still a continuing presence of Gideon Bibles and not wank magazines in hotels which lone businessmen frequent was released under the "Freedom of Information Act" this morning. The thin paper which the specially made Kin...
Read full storyPres. Obama Goes Strong to Hoop on Border Security, Issues New # Campaign
Texas - In a move to signal to the nation how serious he is on solving the border crisis in Texas, President Obama launched a new Twitter campaign aimed at forcing the hordes of illegal immigrants trying to come into our country to instantly lose...
Read full storyObama Finally Approves Keystone Pipeline - To Funnel Illegals to Canada!
Washington D.C. - President Obama thinks he hit a home run today with his solution to the ever-looming Keystone Pipeline project that has been haunting him for several years now. The president has decided to have the pipeline constructed and use i...
Read full storyBlame it on the size of the plate - but don't try this at home
Well, I'm happy to say that drinking is under control in our household. When I say it's under control, I mean we drink under controlled conditions. And that control, as those of you who've read my previous article know, is the size of the drinking receptacle. I provide the link at the end of this article for those who missed the previous one so that you can also get your drinking under control. An...
Read full storyMSNBC's Chris Matthews Volunteers as Tribute for Any Obama Impeachment
New York City - As the "I" word starts to gain traction in the national media for President Obama, Chris Matthews broke down on air today and offered himself up as tribute as a preemptive hit against any possible future impeachment attempts towar...
Read full storyConspiracy Theory Breakthrough
A new drug has been developed to combat what its manufacturers' claim is an increasing rise in what it calls "conspiracy theory syndrome". We went along to F.U. Pharamceuticals in Baltimore to interview leading research scientist there Dr. Hugh.B.Still. I asked the doctor: "Do you believe there is a need for this drug?" "Our research shows that the need is overwhelming. We see the syndrom...
Read full storyNation's Poor Smoking More Crack Due To Pot Price Peak
A new research study out today shows that the nations poor, as defined by poverty rates, are smoking more crack than ever now that legal pot prices are souring! "I can't even afford a roach now" said 22 year old stoner Cody Nevins. "Crack is by far t...
Read full story"God's Not Dead; He's Just Incompetent," with Kevin Sorbo, to Hit the Theaters Next Week
HOLLYWOOD--The sequel to "God's Not Dead" will hit the theaters next week, and the much-anticipated sequel is, like the first movie, expected to fill theaters with evangelical fervor, only this time from the opposite side of the debate. In "God's…
Read full storyVirginia Woman Sues Joe Biden After Being Blinded by His Bright Smile
Fairfax, VA - A local woman has filed charges against Vice-President Biden because she claims that during a speech he gave recently, which the plaintiff attended, Mr. Biden flashed his pearly whites at the woman and temporarily blinded her. Th...
Read full storyIranian World Cup Squad given their country's highest honor
With the Football world cup winding down, there has been a number of different reactions to teams as they head back to their respective countries. One team that was especially nervous before the world cup was Iran. They failed to win a single...
Read full storyGeorge Bush Kidnapped!
George Bush Jnr. has been kidnapped while on a fishing trip to Vancouver. A letter delivered to the editor of the Vancouver Sun stated.... "I and my warriors have kidnapped the sonofabitch on behalf of our noble ancestors. He will be released when...
Read full storyEnd Of World Cult Family Get On Wrong Spaceship
Four members of a doomsday cult, calling themselves Scientopolists and followers of Ronnette L. "Old Mother" Hubbard have been taken away by a spacecraft with huge colored lights making strange "Close Encounter" type musical notes, from Area 51 nea...
Read full storyNRA Endorses "Kill Your Own School Lunch Program"
The NRA and GOP have finally found a free school lunch program that they feel comfortable endorsing. The "Kill Your Own School Lunch Program" is a pilot program in selected rural areas that teaches firearm safety, hunting, trapping and self sufficien...
Read full storyDawn of The Planet Of The Apes Disappointment - Man Threatens To Sue
A Tybee Island man is threatening to sue 20th Century Fox for misrepresentation after watching the sequel to the 2011 film Rise of the Planet of the Apes; Dawn of The Planet Apes. Scott Parker, 34, has filed suit claiming that after viewing the mo...
Read full storyTree Wonders If Anyone Heard It Fall
Middle Of Nowhere, Montana - Doug Fir, a 200-year-old coniferous evergreen, took a tumble last week while enjoying his afternoon of standing in the same spot he'd been in his whole life thus far and swaying in the breeze. "The wind all of a sudde...
Read full storyPackage Holiday Company Offers Fungus Collecting Breaks In Llandudno To Compete With Egyptian Scuba Diving Packages
Plenty of driving rain and overcast skies, muddy beaches, dilapidated resorts, cultural heritage and spectacular pre-glacial and post-glacial peat bogs, Wales is the perfect destination for a family mould spotting holiday. For most tourists, a h...
Read full storyRock hits Netanyahu limo he calls in air strikes and tanks
The office of Prime Minister Benjamin "Bibi" Netanyahu has explained obliteration of four twelve year old Palestinian boys yesterday was due to a likely connection to Hamas rockets buried nearby. According to witnesses the boys were playing near t...
Read full storyBlame Russia and Putin (BRAP) Day to become annual rite and special holiday like July 4
A new movement for a special day of celebration is popular with the President, backed by Senator McCain, with enthusiasm showing in the mainstream press. The Blame Russia and Putin Day, or BRAP Day, is gathering steam. A summer day, probably in...
Read full storyBaby Naming Business
A baby naming business born in Boulder, Colorado, in January is doing remarkably well. What started as an expectant father searching for the perfect name, owner Michael Scholes says he is now creating hundreds of names a month for other people. "...
Read full storyMichael Moore, Hillary Clinton Both Check Into Wealth Rehab Facility
Malibu, CA - Sometimes you have to hit rock bottom before you seek out professional help. Such is the case with two well-known people in recent weeks. Michael Moore and Hillary Clinton have both checked themselves into a Wealth Rehab clinic after...
Read full storyHigh Speed Rail Link Between Treorchy And Craig Y Llyn In Wales Approved
A new high speed rail link between Treorchy and Craig - Y Llyn in Glamorgan has been approved. Development of the provision of transport to Wales' Heritage sites and in particular places of post-glacial phytological significance has been a priority...
Read full storyHubble Telescope Spots Lois Lerner's Emails Leaving Solar System in Secret Rocket
Cape Canaveral, FL - NASA officials have announced the Hubble Telescope has spotted an object leaving our solar system at breakneck speed and believe the vessel is carrying Lois Lerner's missing IRS emails. The rocket was not launched by NASA...
Read full storyTV Judge Alex Wants To Decide Pending House Lawsuit Against President Obama-Sources
Washington DC-Florida judge Alex Ferrer, the host of the syndicated courtroom TV show Judge Alex, is purportedly talking to representatives of President Barack Obama and House of Representatives Speak John Boehner about hearing the lawsuit which the...
Read full storyMove To Overturn U.S. - Scotland Haggis Import Ban
A ban on Haggis imported from Scotland into the U.S. may be lifted in the next few days as E.U. and The United States meet to improve food trading regulations between the two Continents. The importation of Haggis from Scotland (near England, E.U.
Read full storyFast Food Industry Rampant With Falsified Resumes Says Doctoral Student
Iowa City - A doctoral student at The University of Iowa has uncovered a startling number of falsified resumes within the fast food industry. Ichabod Alchemy was working on his thesis which is a study of underlying economic trends that affect the...
Read full storyBowe Bergdahl Captured by Immigration Reform Activists
Seargant Bowe Bergdahl, the soldier held prisoner by the Taliban in Afghanistan for five years, is reportedly once again a Prisoner of War. Just days after being returned to active duty, the Pentagon announced today that Bergdahl sent his father an e...
Read full storyDon't Do Stupid Sh*t party steps forward to challenge duopoly
The new DDSS party, inspired direct from President Obama's name for his foreign policy, the "Don't Do Stupid Sh*t" policy, is set for a two year run to take the Presidency. It emphasizes program, not personality. A founding principle begins: "We h...
Read full storyMichelle Obama Denies 'Blood Feud' With Clintons: "We Only Played 'Family Feud' With Them"
Washington D.C. - After the release of the top-selling book by Ed Klein, "Blood Feud," Michelle Obama has come forward to clear the air about reported animosity between America's two royal families - The Obamas and the Clintons. "There never was a...
Read full storyCaliph of new Islamic State of Humbuggia opens US embassy, sends Tony Blair as peace envoy
Washington DC - Located in a damp and ugly 200 sq ft teardown behind Bladensburg Metrobus garage at 2251 26th Street NE the new legation's HQ aint's exactly swish by international diplomatic standards. But hey, it's about to get a fab five hundre...
Read full storyPrince Phillip's Hands Stuck Behind His Back For 3 Hours In Derrek Brown Stunt
A Royal Performance by a mixture of Variety and Illusionist acts to mark Prince Phillip's Lifetime Award for not doing very much was topped by a spectacular hypnotic trick by Derrek Brown. Prince Phillip was convinced by Brown that his hands were...
Read full storySusan Rice Sent to Russia to Assist Putin in Cover-Up of Malaysian Airline Disaster
Washington D.C. - Ambassador to the United Nations, Susan Rice, has been dispatched to Russia by President Obama to assist President Putin in his cover-up attempt to hide the damage his soldiers did when they murdered nearly 300 innocent people a...
Read full storyStatue of Liberty to be replaced with new structure that looks like a New York police officer
Spearheaded by Senator John McCain, a new bipartisan movement inside the Congress is working toward tearing down and replacing the Statue of Liberty. So far no one in the government has raised any objections, with the President himself saying, "We...
Read full storyIllegal Immigrants Admit They Came to U.S. for Glenn Beck's Free Soccer Balls
McAllen, TX - A Honduran woman accidentally let the cat out of the bag yesterday when she unwittingly explained to a reporter the real reason she and tens of thousands of her fellow Latin American citizens travelled thousands of miles was for the...
Read full storyThe Devil Pussy invades!
An elderly couple recently told how they were terrorised in their own home for three days by a cat! Royston Munt needed hospital treatment after being attacked by the intruder, which got in through a bedroom window. Retired taxidermist and WW2...
Read full storyManhattan Island Sinks Beneath Hudson
Due to the increase in beverage and meal portion sizes in restaurants, there was a noticeable increase in water levels around the island of Manhattan. The locals were too busy eating their XTRA-LARGE beverages and Big Macs to notice that their isl...
Read full storyMassive Mexican red rump tarantula on the run in NYC: reported sighting at Kerry Kennedy condo
New York - A mean-looking pregnant giant Mexican red rump tarantula, Brachypelma vagans, on the loose in Park Slope, NYC, has been reported scurrying close to the human frights lawyer's home. This morning CCTV cameras picked up strange arachnid m...
Read full story