There were 850 spoof news stories published in January 2012. A selection of the most popular stories is shown here. You can use the calendar on the right hand side to get news stories from a day in this month.
Nina Dobrev will quit Vampire Diaries if she has to kiss Ian Somerhalder again: Wait, what?
Actress Nina Dobrev has threatened to quit the CW hit show, The Vampire Diaries, if she has to shoot another kissing scene with Ian Somerhalder. Despite all the online rumors that claim Nina and Ian are dating, Nina Dobrev set the record straight to...
Read full storyIt's Official! X-Factor's Rachel Crow and Drew Ryniewicz To Tour With Selena Gomez And Demi Lovato
HOLLYWOOD - A spokesperson for Selena Gomez has just announced an upcoming concert tour that will feature Gomez, Demi Lovato, and two of this year's youngest X-Factor contestants Rachel Crow, 13, and Drew Ryniewicz, 14. The 37-city tour is being p...
Read full story'Reverse Bonus Checks' Drain Wall Street Bank Accounts
New York -- The global economic crisis has finally caught up with Wall Street insiders who triggered it. They are discovering that their traditional year-end compensation is lowering the balance on their bank accounts, rather than raising it. "The...
Read full storySuper Bowl Controversy: National Anthem Will Be Replaced with a Dodge Ad
Indianapolis -- Football fans watching Super Bowl XLVI can remain seated during the pregame ceremonies this year, because the singing of The Star-Spangled Banner will be preempted by a television commercial for Dodge trucks. "At $7 million a minut...
Read full storyNew Greek Threat: More Credit for Us Or No More Gyros for You
Athens -- Facing a debt burden that could enslave its citizens for decades to come, Greece has gone on the offensive, declaring it will halt the production of gyros worldwide if it's not given a larger line of credit. "Go ahead and laugh, but I ca...
Read full storyNina Dobrev and Ian Somerhalder Say That Taylor Swift's Hauntingly Beautiful Song "Safe And Sound" Is Their Favorite Song
CANCUN, Mexico - The two stars of the hit show The Vampire Diaries Nina Dobrev and Ian Somerhalder were recently down in Cancun, Mexico taking a much needed break from all of the hustle and bustle of LaLaLand. Dobrev and Somerhalder stayed at the...
Read full storyRepublicans Battle Over How Far To Turn Back The Clock
Crossroads, South Carolina -- Despite their endless bickering, the Republican presidential candidates all agree that they would like to take the nation back to a more gentler and prosperous era. But they have very different views on what point in Am...
Read full storyAll Sent Items: To Katie1988 From SteveTheMan
To: Katie1988@topmail.com From: SteveTheMan@talktalc.co.uk Hi Katie - it was so nice to finally meet you! After exchanging all those emails about family trees and both being new to the whole ancestry thing it was handy to exchange ideas. I've found a few more distant relatives on my Dad's side, so my tree is beginning to fill out now. How are you getting on? Maybe we could meet up again to c...
Read full storyPresident Obama Tells Vice-President Joe Biden He Has To Do More Around The White House Or He May Be Put On Probation
WASHINGTON, D.C. - A highly reliable, unnamed, inside White House source has revealed that President Obama recently had a heart-to-heart meeting with Vice-President Joe Biden. According to the source, it is really no secret at the White House that...
Read full storyBad Romance: So What's the Skinny?
Given the assignment to write about the subject of Bad Romance, spoof reporter Gail Farrelly grabbed her trusty tape recorder and set out to collect the opinions of a number of experts in the field. A meticulous researcher, Farrelly went to the ends of the earth and beyond to get the whole scoop. Here are her findings -- expressed in direct quotes from the interviewees, who were asked: What...
Read full storyCameron Diaz Reveals The Amazing Reason Why She Had Breast Augmentation Surgery
HONOLULU - Cameron Diaz was sunning herself on Honolulu Beach oblivious to the crowd that had formed around her. As she looked up she suddenly noticed that she had at least a dozen admirers. Cameron who has never been shy suddenly stood up and beg...
Read full storyChina Sending Men to the Moon to Build a Lunar iPad Factory
Beijing -- China has revealed the purpose of its manned missions to the moon. The Chinese want to construct their next electronics assembly plant there as the first step toward using the moon as a manufacturing zone. "It's no secret that our count...
Read full storyKaley Cuoco to quit Big Bang for physics
It was the news that went off like an thermonuclear device around Hollywood. Kaley Cuoco, actress who plays Penny on the hit sitcom The Big Bang Theory has announced her intention to quit the show at the end of it's current season. It is the re...
Read full storyJustin Bieber and Selena Gomez To Record A Valentine's Day CD Based On The Songs of Led Zeppelin
TARZANA - Justin Bieber and his girlfriend Selena Gomez were enjoying Southern California' wonderfully, warm, wintertime, weather as they visited the famed Tarzan & Jane Petting Zoo. The couple who have visited the petting zoo before walked ar...
Read full storyCher Fails to Prove She's Not Dead -- Burial Set for Tuesday
Hollywood, California -- Former superstar Cher has fallen victim to a bogus Tweet, which announced that she had passed away last Thursday. It appears that the 65-year-old singer/actress has no way of proving that she is indeed still alive. "Cher h...
Read full storyDemi Lovato Reveals She Has Quite a Crush On Zac Efron
BEVERLY HILLS - Demi Lovato was recently talking to her hair stylist FuFi Fondue as she sat in his Haven of Hair Salon getting her hair trimmed. She told Fondue that over the Christmas holidays she and her little sister had gone to see the new mov...
Read full storyKim Kardashian Has Invited Rob Pattinson To Travel With Her Down To Cabo San Lucas, Mexico
HOLLYWOOD - Rob Pattinson, the star of the Twilight series, has just received what he is calling one of the best offers he has ever had. Pattinson said that out of the blue he received a phone call from Kim Kardashian. She asked him how his brand...
Read full storyHarry Stiles from One Direction confirms age gap in love affair too big
It was confirmed today by One Direction member Harry Styles himself that he concedes his love affair with an older woman might not be the best thing for him. He said that touring the country with the new woman in his life meant that they had to c...
Read full storyPresident Obama Is Upset With Vice-President Joe Biden For Making Mother-In-Law Jokes In Front of Michelle's Mama
WASHINGTON D.C. - Word filtering out of the White House is that President Barack Obama is not a happy camper. It seems that the other day during a White House State Dinner in honor of France's First Lady Carla Bruni-Sarkozy Vice-President Biden in...
Read full story38DD Busty Singaporean Banker Leaked Laptop Racy Photos Cause Stir in Asia Pacific
A popular blog recently posted topless photos of a busty woman allegedly working in Singapore at a US related bank. This Singaporean woman has been exposed herself and her "secret double life" on the internet with different sexy lingerie and biki...
Read full storyLeigh Van Bryan and Emily Bunting compensation could run to $$$ millions
Birmingham - It's been billed as an ironic twist on John Cleese's notorious 'Sole reason for visit' response to a US visa questionnaire about 'Are You Planning To Overthrow The United States Government By Force?' And it could be a very lucrative d...
Read full storySocial Media Halted; Few Users Are Reading Contributions of Others
The social media stoppage may not be forever; in fact, it will probably last only a few weeks. But starting next Wednesday -- for a limited time -- there will be NO social media whatsoever. Al Gore, founder of the Internet, made the announcement...
Read full storyMiley Cyrus Reportedly Hospitalized With 'Texting Fatigue'
LOS ANGELES - The year 2011 was definitely a year of ups and downs for Miley Cyrus, the 19-year-old singer who became nationally known for her starring role on the Disney Channel's Hannah Montana. During the summer Miley had a bad planking experie...
Read full storyIan Somerhalder Has Been Asked To Appear On The Next Edition of 'Dancing With The Stars'
HOLLYWOOD - Tom Bergeron the host of the hit show Dancing With The Stars has verified the rumor that one of the stars of the The Vampire Diaries, Ian Somerhalder has been asked to appear as one of the celebrity dancers for the upcoming season. Ber...
Read full story'CSI: Kardashian' Puts the Madcap Back into Murder
Hollywood, California - CBS has launched a fourth version of its Crime Scene Investigation series, but with a twist. This time, the show plays forensics for fun, with members of America's least talented but most publicized showbiz family filling the...
Read full storyKate Gosselin Devastated At Being Dumped By Steven Tyler Says She Has A Crush On Russell Brand
WEST HOLLYWOOD - Kate Gosselin the former star of two cancelled cable shows Jon & Kate Plus 8 and Kate Plus 8 was in West Hollywood visiting her former dance partner on Dancing With The Stars Tony Dovaloni. Gosselin said that Tony was there fo...
Read full storyKate Gosselin Discloses The Location and The Reason For Her Very Intimate Tattoo
READING, Pennsylvania - Kate Gosselin has really had her ups and downs over the past few years but she says that she is a survivor and she truly believes that 2012 will be her year. Kate, 36, recently sat down with Taffeta Kixx of iRumors and had...
Read full storyBollywood's Aishwarya Rai To Star With Hollywood's Heidi Montag In The R-Rated Film "Control, Alt, Delete"
HOLLYWOOD - Tri-Moon Films in association with Candlelight Productions has just announced that filming will soon begin on their latest collaboration Control, Alt, Delete. The R-rated motion picture which will be directed by Sheboygan Saddlewood wi...
Read full storyAlexander Skarsgard cast as Norse God Odin in The Twilight Saga Russet Noon
HOLLYWOOD - Alexander Skarsgard as the ultimate epic battle hero? You better believe it! After auditioning countless movie heartthrobs over the past few weeks, casting director and honorable British Lord, Alf Starling, has finally made a decision o...
Read full storyNBA Star Lamar Odom's Barhopping Has Wife Khloe Kardashian Hopping Mad!
WASHINGTON, D.C. - The way things are going, there very well could be another basketball divorce in the future for yet another one of the infamous Kardashian attention-seeking sisters. Bedroom Pillow Talk has learned that Khloe Kardashian is seeki...
Read full storyJohnny Depp and Lindsay Lohan To Star In "Chicken of The Sea - The Story of The Captain of The Costa Concordia Francesco Schettino"
HOLLYWOOD - The star of The Pirates of The Caribbean series Johnny Depp has just been cast to portray Italian cruise ship Captain Francesco Schettino AKA Captain Crunch. The movie titled Chicken of The Sea - The Story of The Captain of The Costa C...
Read full storyDemi Lovato and Demi Moore To Star as Lindsay and Dina Lohan In "Oodles of Freckles - The Sad Story of Lindsay Lohan"
HOLLYWOOD - Singing sensation Demi Lovato has just announced that she will soon be starring in the Lions Face Films production of Oodles of Freckles - The Sad Story of Lindsay Lohan. The motion picture is being directed and produced by Charleen Be...
Read full storyMaksim Chmerkovskiy, The Dancing With The Stars 'Bad Boy of The Ballroom' Will Have His Own Sit-Com Called "Dancing And Fighting With Maksim"
HOLLYWOOD - Word out of Tinsel Town is that Maksim Chmerkovskiy, a native of the Ukraine, and one of the most controversial members of Dancing With The Stars has agreed to star in his very own situation-comedy. The 31-year-old Ukrainian dancer who...
Read full storyA Heartbroken Kate Gosselin Begs Steven Tyler To Take Her Back
READING, Pennsylvania - Kate Gosselin the star of two cancelled reality shows Jon and Kate Plus 8 and Kate Plus 8, says that having had those two shows cancelled was nowhere near as hurtful as having Steven Tyler break up with her. Gosselin sat in...
Read full storyMichelle Obama Agrees To Appear On 'Dancing With The Stars' And Will Be Paired With Maksim Chmerkovskiy, "The Bad Boy of The Ballroom"
HOLLYWOOD - The host of Dancing With The Stars, Tom Bergeron has just put all of the First Lady rumors to rest. He has informed the entertainment media that Michelle Obama, 48, wife of the nation's 44th president, Barack Obama has in fact agreed...
Read full storyMadonna Says That Angelina Jolie Is Too Old To Be Getting Pregnant
NEW YORK CITY - Madonna who has a storied history of getting into feuds with other celebrities has added a new one to her list of feud participants. The 53-year-old songstress recently remarked that Angelina Jolie, who has just announced her pregn...
Read full storyKeira Knightley, Emma Watson And Vinnie Jones In Bad Romance Love Triangle
Budding scriptwriter, Chester Swanage St-Ives, today revealed that he is preparing to embark upon a Hollywood trip, in order to promote his latest screenplay, 'The Manderley Romantic Menage a Trois Of Doomed Starcrossed Victorian Lovers High On Crack. (With Horses.)' Starring Keira Knightley, Emma Watson, and Vinnie Jones, with cameos from Katie Price, Natasha Giggs, Bono out of U2, David Bowie...
Read full storyRussell Brand Reveals That Katy Perry's Breastfeeding Comment Was The Last Straw
LOS ANGELES - Russell Brand filed for divorce after being married to Katy Perry for only 14 months. He recently spoke with Pico de Gallo, a reporter with Tittle Tattle Tonight and stated that the main reason why he had decided to file for a divorc...
Read full storyIan Somerhalder pulls a Rambo after Nina Dobrev agrees to be the new Bachelorette
Host Chris Harrison announced Thursday during an interview that ABC is launching a new spinoff of the popular dating show, The Bachelorette. Inspired by the success of Donald Trump's Celebrity Apprentice, ABC producers have decided to try their hand...
Read full storyCDC Reports 'Failed Paternity Test' Confirms Justin Bieber Still Incapable of Impregnating Women
(Atlanta, GA) - Today, CDC chief virologist Rueben Suresh confirmed the results of additional analyses performed in early January on Justin Bieber's failed paternity test sample. Suresh stated that recent reviews show that the pop star remains fully...
Read full storyBlu-Tack named "most important piece of equipment" on the ISS
The international space station is full of technical wizardry from robot arms to state of the art telecommunication devices. The cost of a pen on the ISS runs into thousands of dollars with decades of research leading to its manufacture. So which...
Read full storyJustin Bieber and Selena Gomez Reveal Their Amazing New Years Resolution
SANTA MONICA, California - One of the happiest young couples in America was spotted walking hand-in-hand on the famed Santa Monica Pier. Singing sensations Justin Bieber, 17, and his girlfriend Selena Gomez, 19, were seen feeding each other some p...
Read full storyIan Somerhalder, Taylor Lautner, and Lady Gaga To Star In "The Attack of The Zombie Emoticons"
NEW ORLEANS - Lady Gaga performed before a sell-out crowd at The Ooh La La Convention Center in the city known as The Big Easy. After her concert, Lady G spoke in her dressing room with Tequila Tallyho of Left Coast Mirror Magazine. Miss Tallyh...
Read full storyTransfer Window: Lionel Messi joins Leyton Orient on two month loan
In an amazing turn of events today, Leyton Orient pulled off the transfer coup of the January window and possibly the millenium when O's chairman Barry Hearn announced to a packed to the rafters press conference in the club's Olympic suite that newl...
Read full storyAmerican Idol Kicks Off Season 11 With 10,000 Hopefuls in Savannah, Georgia
SAVANNAH, Georgia - Season 11 of American Idol kicked off in the Southern city of Savannah, Georgia. The town nestled on the South Carolina border is noted for its delicious tasting peaches, it deliciously lovely Southern belles, and for being the...
Read full storyKaty Perry Denies That Russell Brand Filed For Divorce Due To Her Alleged Lesbian Affair With Rihanna
LOS ANGELES - Russell Brand was in Tinsel Town visiting his lawyer and taking care of a few odds and ends in his upcoming divorce from Katy Perry. Meanwhile his soon-to-be-ex-wife Katy Perry was staying in Barbados at the Caribbean mansion of Riha...
Read full storyCameron Diaz Talks Openly About Justin Bieber, Her New Boobs, and Those Botox Rumors
BEVERLY HILLS - Cameron Diaz was sitting in her usual chair at The Haven of Hair Salon on Rodeo Drive where she had gone in for her monthly black root touch up. The starlet's longtime hair stylist FuFi Fondue, noted hair stylist to the stars, rema...
Read full storyCERN Press Office Confirm Large Haldron Collider Will Shut Down 21 December 2012 For Maintenance
CERN today announced that the LHC will run through to 21 December 2012 after a short technical stop at the end of 2011. The beam energy for 2012 will be 8.5 TeV, the maximum possible and this maximum output will be reached on the 21 December 2012, be...
Read full storyRoyal Boat Show
To coincide with the upcoming mass hysteria for the Queen's Diamond Jubilee Boatshow during June hence, 'Atlas Editions' that well known publishing house responsible for churning out endless crap collectables is 'launching' a new weekly magazine.
Read full storyLondon Borough Of Ealing Declared International Dark-Sky Reserve
London's astronomers are over the moon at the announcement that the London Borough of Ealing has been declared an International Dark-Sky Reserve. 'London is an international centre of excellence for numerous endeavours,' explained Mayor of London,...
Read full storyRussell Brand and Vanessa Bryant Spotted In Brand's 2012 Lamborghini Parked By The Hollywood Sign
HOLLYWOOD - Russell Brand will soon be a free man after filing for divorce from his wife of 14 months singer Katy Perry. Brand stated that he filed in Los Angeles County on grounds of Irreconcilable Ipso Facto Differences. Vanessa Bryant will...
Read full storyTen Comments from Experts about the Possible Ending of the World in 2012
What's the skinny on this scary prediction? Here's a sampling of comments: Martha Stewart: "Be prepared. Pack yourself some nice take-out meals that travel REALLY well." Queen Elizabeth II: "I'm not leaving without my tiara, my royal robes, and my purse." Entrepreneur Donald Trump: "I STILL may run for president." Twitter executive: "Send some good-bye tweets, but remembe...
Read full storyHeidi Klum Dumps Seal, Seeks Upgrade with Tiger Woods
The romance is reportedly over as ex-supermodel now reality TV hostess, Heidi Klum, kicks former recording star Seal, to the curb. Insiders to the Klum camp, say that she may be quick to the post-Seal cougar prowl, and just happens to like the way T...
Read full storyKristen Stewart to Shoot Hot Steamy Scene with Taylor Lautner in Post Breaking Dawn Film
Twilight Saga actors Kristen Stewart and Taylor Lautner are not very happy about their movie Breaking Dawn getting snubbed this film award season, so they've vowed to make a comeback after their Twilight contract is up. "I don't understand what...
Read full storyArsenal To Sign Manchester United Legend Eric Cantona
In keeping with their current policy of signing Premier League legends, Arsenal appear set to top the Thierry Henry coup by signing Manchester United legend, Eric Cantona. A club spokesman said that luring the greatest ever French footballer out o...
Read full storyVampire Diaries off the air until February due to Ian Somerhalder's disappearance, Nina Dobrev announces
ATLANTA - As the manhunt for actor Ian Somerhalder continues up in the North Georgia mountains, Vampire Diaries producers take the show off the air until February 2012. Reporters and paparazzi cornered damsel in distress extraordinaire, Nina Dobrev,...
Read full storyWoman With 2 Vaginas Seeks Man With 2 Penises
A one in a million woman with two vaginas is seeking a man with 2 penises. Yes you heard it right a woman with 2 vaginas has discovered she is a little different than the average bear. Hazel Jones was alerted to her difference when a boy friend n...
Read full storyJohn Terry to move back into Barking council house
The mysterious finances of Chelsea skipper John Terry took another twist last night when he and his family moved back to the area where he was born - straight into a four bed council house. The 'stun' newspaper revealed he remortgaged his home in...
Read full storyAdele confirmed for Queens Diamond Jubilee, special builders engaged
It was confirmed today that popular singer Adele will indeed be headlining at the pop concert for H M the Queen's Diamond Jubilee celebrations from the roof of the Royal Palace. Specialist builders are being brought in to Buckingham Palace to stre...
Read full storyCharlie Sheen Seen Trying To Hit On Kobe's Soon-To-Be-Ex-Wife, Vanessa "The $75 Million Woman" Bryant
HOLLYWOOD - Charlie Sheen alias "The Space Cadet" wasted no time as he was seen trying to hit on Vanessa Bryant at a Pizza Doll Restaurant located near Sunset and Vine. Charlie was wearing an NFL New York Giants baseball cap and a New England Patr...
Read full storyMario Balotelli Buys A Mobility Scooter
Crackpot Manchester City striker Mario Balotelli has just accepted delivery of a top of the range mobility scooter which he says he'll use to do the odd spot of shopping at Manchester's Trafford Centre, and to transport him from the dressing rooms at...
Read full storyDid Iranian Rock Sink The Costa Concordia?
In response to US threats to impose sanctions on Iran over it's nuclear program it's been revealed that Iran has been attempting to block the Straits of Hormuz to oil tankers by rolling enormous rocks into the waters. "We've blasted about thirty...
Read full storyJennifer Aniston Agrees To Appear In PlayGuy For $1.2 Million
CHICAGO - Jennifer Aniston really made quite an impression as the brunette dentist in her role as Dr. Julia Harris, D.D.S. in the 2011 hit motion picture Horrible Bosses. Aniston certainly shot down the old adage that 'blondes have more fun,' as s...
Read full storyChinese New Year and Burns Night merged
With Chinese New Year arriving just two days before the Scottish celebration of Burns Night, it has been decided to amalgamate the two massive events in the global calendar and have Chinese Burns Night. "This is going to be phenomenal," said Wu Ma...
Read full storyFrenchmen's AAA Romance Rating Downgraded To C-
Paris -- The EU Division of Standard & Poor's has notched down France's world-leading AAA Romance Rating, relegating the "land of love" to the bottom of the hotness heap when it comes to "lust, thrust, and overall mojo." "France's sexual score...
Read full storyScott Walker Worried Jail He Is Going to Might Have Union Guards
Madison, Wisconsin--Scott Walker is beginning to worry that he might be going to jail, because close aides of his are getting charged with felonies. "I am worried these jails in Wisconsin might have guards that are in the unions, if I am lucky,...
Read full storyImplant scandal after goldfish found in breast
Fly by night cosmetic surgery slashers Body-morph have admitted that some of there implants might contain goldfish, although they assure patients that there is no risk from cancer from the fish. The scandal came to light, after a woman complained...
Read full storyPippa Middleton was to have been the face of the PIP breast implant, bwahaha...
London - The ad campaign for the Poly Implant Prothese mammary jellies has gone on the wobble after Pippa Middleton flip-flopped over contractual terms. Secret organic ingredients thought to be Medusa jellyfish hybrids, have been hit hard by EU au...
Read full storyJohn Terry's face being used on Indian cigarette packets
Representatives of John Terry are taking legal advice after an image resembling the footballer appeared on cigarette packs in India. The photograph of a blurred head and pale torso appears above the words SMOKING CIGARETTES CAN LEAD TO BEING CAPTA...
Read full storyRosie 47 stitches up Harry Redknapp.
Harry Redknapp was twitching like a pigeon today after it was revealed in court that his dog had opened a secret bank account in Monaco. The jury was told how the Old Bill had been following the trail of 'Arry's dog, who was operating under the mo...
Read full storyPolitical Facebook - Mitt Romney and Ron Paul
Political Facebook Mitt Romney: Hi Ron, well it's been quite a week huh? With Jon Huntsman and Rick Perry dropping out that now leaves only four of us in the GOP presidential race. 2:11 p.m. Ron Paul: Yes it does Mitt old boy. But I really have a feeling that old slick Rick Santorum will be dropping out pretty soon. 2:16 p.m. Mitt Romney: What makes you say that? 2:21 p.m. Ron Paul:...
Read full storyNina Dobrev, Ian Somerhalder, and Paul Wesley Return For Season 3 on The Vampire Diaries
HOLLYWOOD - The Vampire Diaries kicked off season number three with a real bang as Alaric (Matt Davis) launched a bottle rocket that almost hit Caroline (Candice Accola) on her cowlick and landed on a hay pile which quickly started a fire that burned...
Read full storyBrad Pitt Is Denying That His Hurt Leg Is A Result of A Karate Kick From Angelina Jolie
NEW YORK CITY - Brad Pitt and his partner Angelina Jolie recently arrived in the Big Apple where they attended the 77th New York Film Critics Circle Award Gala. Pitt won the award for best actor for his portrayal of Billy Beane in the baseball mov...
Read full storyPhysicists guide to romance
As any biologist will happily tell you, at some point even a physicist must find a suitable mate. Otherwise, where do baby physicists come from? Therefore, it follows that at some point in any physicist's life, there will be a need to procreate. Please see the earlier physicists guide to identifying the sexes, as attempting to procreate with same gender people will prove fruitless. And sometimes p...
Read full storyKim Jong-Un wins at the Olympics
In a desperate attempt to impress his new subjects, North Korea's Kim Jong-Un has broadcast the London Olympics to his nation six months early. The Great Successor himself took part in many events, and unsurprisingly, he showed the same amazing sport...
Read full storyBenedict Cumberbatch schmoozed to play Pentagon hacker Gary McKinnon
London - Studio bosses are desperate to secure the services of the Sherlock star whose uncanny facial resemblance makes him a dead ringer for Gary McKinnon. Benedict Cumberbatch is being headhunted to play the controversial Pentagon hacker in a ne...
Read full storyQPR to sign Kaxo Mpewilmu.
Sky Sports understands that QPR are in talks with Kaxo Mpewilmu. The 22 year old Belgian born Gambian wonderkid is currently plying his trade with FC Snagov in the Romanian 2nd tier. Mark Hughes has a reported £30 million warchest, and a high s...
Read full storyGlenn Beck: "Progressives Are to Blame for History Books
Washington--Glenn Beck is letting everyone know that Progressives are the reason we have history books in public schools. "I just want my listeners to know that progressives are the reason we have history books in public schools. They know that i...
Read full storyJoey Barton Twitter attack on Gary Glitter
A war of tweets has broken out after Joey Barton claimed a Twitter account belonging to pop paedophile Gary Glitter should be given a red card. @Joey7Barton called Gary Glitter a #wrongun and a #diddlediddler and said that the unverified account w...
Read full storyNASA Offered Local Inventor's 'Space Scrubber'
A local inventor is set to make a fortune by selling his latest device to US space agency, NASA. Sid Shelf believes his invention is just what NASA needs to clean up the mess that has been created in near-Earth orbit by the various space programme...
Read full storyBad girl Miley Cyrus snapped getting down and dirty with giant penis cake at birthday
Yes you heard it right Sweet innocent little Miley Cyrus was heard saying at a birthday party, "she loved the taste of that sweet black penis". And why wouldn't she love the taste. It was an X-rated birthday cake she had purchased for her BF Liam...
Read full storyThe Reason Why Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie Want To Adopt X-Factor's Rachel Crow and Drew Ryniewicz
NEW YORK CITY - Brad Pitt was all smiles as he won the Best Actor Award at the 77th New York Film Critics Circle Award Gala for his portrayal of Billy Beane in the baseball film Moneyball. Pitt who was hobbling and walking with the aid of a $7,298...
Read full storyYodaphone to take on the big four
It was never the intention, but so successful was a recent advert campaign staring Yoda, the diminutive Star Wars character has decided to go into business selling mobile phones with his own operating system that takes on Apple, Google, Microsoft and...
Read full storyRussell Brand Blames 2012 Mayan Apocalypse for Katy Perry Divorce
A horse is a horse of course of course and nobody can talk to a horse of course, go right to the source and ask the horse, He'll give you the answer that you'll endorse, He's always on a steady course, Talk to Mr. Ed! According to Judd Apatow prod...
Read full storyBaby Porcupine Irwin: First Interview and Wish List
He's a YouTube sensation -- the baby porcupine in Pennsylvania trying to eat from a coffee cup. But he's not a happy camper. In his first interview, he tells all, including why he's furious with the media and what's on his wish list for the com...
Read full storyKop To Sing 'You'll Never Walk Alone' In Swahili In Order To Refute Racism Allegations
Sources on Merseyside are reporting that Liverpool Football Club, in order to save face over the Luis Suarez racism allegations, and the club's subsequent stand in support of the striker, have distributed the lyrics of 'You'll Never Walk Alone' in Sw...
Read full storyBetty White Says That If Ron Paul Wasn't Married, She'd Be All Over Him Like Stripes on A Zebra!
BEVERLY HILLS - Betty White just recently celebrated her 90th birthday and the feisty Hollywood gal does not show any signs of slowing down. She is seriously considering an offer to appear in next season's edition of Dancing With The Stars as well...
Read full storySurprise Guest at Dorking Steam Engine Renovation Society
The Dorking Steam Engine Renovation Society had a pleasant surprise this week as they met at Millie's Barn for their monthly meeting when Ringo Starr turned up. "I was blown away," said Humphrey Regard. "There we were discussing the merits of extr...
Read full storyPortsmouth FC players sent into town with begging bowls!
The players of Portsmouth FC, one of the oldest football clubs in the UK, have had their afternoon training sessions cancelled because the chairman has demanded that players go out and beg for their money. Portsmouth owe a substantial amount to th...
Read full storyCameron denies eating roast bald eagle with King Abdullah in Saudi desert feast
Riyadh, Saudi Arabia - "That's total and utter hogwash," the PM's aide told reporters this evening, "besides, it wasn't bald per se, just slightly thinning." "It's the Bedu equivalent of the Thanksgiving turkey," Our-Man-In-Riyadh's calorie counte...
Read full storyTransfer Window: Villas-Boas denies Chelsea will sell Torres in January
Chelsea manager Andre Villa-Boas has denied the club will sell £50million flop striker Fernando Torres in the January transfer window. "It's an ABSOLUTE LIE" AVB grumbled into a microphone shoved into his face after another failure to pick up thre...
Read full storyThe Hank Williams Jr., - Ellen DeGeneres Feud Is Getting Hotter Than A Summer Day In Yuma, Arizona
LOS ANGELES - The average temperature in Yuma, Arizona, during the summer month of July is 107 F. But the temperature between the feud between country artist Hank Williams Jr. and talk show host Ellen DeGeneres is most assuredly a few degrees higher...
Read full storyRon Paul Says If Newt Gingrich Doesn't Stop Attacking Him He Will Open Up A Can of 'Whup Ass' On Him
LAKE JACKSON, Texas - Ron Paul was back home taking it easy since he said that he does not like to travel on Friday the 13th. He sat barbecuing baby back ribs in his backyard and chatting with Mistletoe Bulova, a reporter with the political public...
Read full storyFacebook unveils 60 new ways to waste time under latest expansion plan
Facebook is adding a series of new applications to let users share such things as photos, travel or fashion. The online social network firm unveiled more than 60 new ways to waste time on Facebook. The company, tipped for a $100bn initial public o...
Read full storyThe Unbelievable Video of Ex-Penn State Football Coach Jerry Sandusky At The Tarzan & Jane Petting Zoo In Tarzana
TARZANA - An undercover private investigator has uncovered what he calls evidence that is not going to help the case of Jerry Sandusky, the former coach of the Nittany Lions of Penn State. The investigator who would not reveal his name for reasons...
Read full storyNew Weekly Part Work - Build Your Own Gibson Les Paul!
That's right! You too can join great axemen like Slash and play your very own Gibson Les Paul electric guitar. This prestigious instrument has long been the guitar of choice for ace rock players and has been heard on some of the greatest tunes ever to hit the airwaves. Now you can build your own with this weekly publication. Every week you will receive a quality part with a specially-written...
Read full storyLos Angeles Lakers Player Luke Walton Appears To Be Heading To The Washington Wizards
LOS ANGELES - In a move that many Los Angeles Laker fans knew was coming, Sports Territory Magazine is reporting that the Lakers may be trading the 31-year-old, 6-foot-8-inch Luke Walton. The Lakers management stated that they are currently in ta...
Read full story2012 Mayan Prophecy: The End Of The World - A 'How To Survive' Guide
It's a fact. The world is ending this year, or so say the experts who are pretending they can read the ancient texts of the Mayan people, that long ago vanished Mesoamerican tribe. So, I thought it would be prudent to cover a few final points before the destruction of mankind. And if I can, help you survive it. This is my 'How To' guide in how to survive the apocalypse. Hold on tight,...
Read full storyCosta Concordia will need exorcism Pope warns salvage company
Rome - Unhexing the stricken pleasure cruiser requires meticulous Bell, Book & Candle stuff the Pope has warned ahead of new attempts to refloat the boat. Its Friday the 13th sinking on the Russian Orthodox calendar's New Year's Eve means devi...
Read full storyRiot at Nottingham's Parliament Street Jobcentre Plus!
There was panic in Nottingham city centre this morning, when it was mistakenly published in the 'Free paper', that the Jobcentre Plus on Parliament Street had got 333 new jobs just come in, in error for 3 new jobs. As soon as the crowd rushed the...
Read full storyTiger Woods Visits Australian Open to See Maria Sharapova Grunt
Finishing his negotiations with Newt Gingrich over whether or not Woods might be a spokesman for Newt's moral character, Woods and his entourage headed to the Australian Open tennis tournament to witness Maria Sharapova's grunts first hand. "There...
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