Written by Abel Rodriguez

Sunday, 8 January 2012

image for Madonna Says That Angelina Jolie Is Too Old To Be Getting Pregnant
Madonna showing two weeks of underarm hair growth. (Photo courtesy of Piers Morgan).

NEW YORK CITY - Madonna who has a storied history of getting into feuds with other celebrities has added a new one to her list of feud participants.

The 53-year-old songstress recently remarked that Angelina Jolie, who has just announced her pregnancy, is too old to be getting pregnant.

Madonna stated that Jolie's eggs are very close to reaching the expiration date and added that she already has half a dozen kids running around and how many more does she want.

She told a reporter for Bedroom Pillow Talk that she had heard it from a highly, reliable, unnamed, inside source that the only reason why Jolie got pregnant was because she had found out that Brad (Pitt) was going to be leaving her and returning to Jennifer "The Legs" Aniston.

When Angelina heard about Madonna's remarks she went ballistic. She responded by saying that Madonna is just jealous because her female hormones have left the friggin building and her ovaries are like that Civil War epic movie, Gone With The Wind.

Jolie went on to say that Madonna has always been jealous of her ever since she (Angelina) told Oprah Winfrey three years ago that she felt that Madonna was nothing but a washed up, has been who had all the charm of belly button lint.

Jolie went on to tell Miss O that Madonna has industrial size cellulite on her upper thighs, her butt, and on her horse collar (lap donut).

When Madonna heard what Angelina had said she made a face and said that she heard from (Jolie's) gynecologist that her crotch area looks like a freakin piƱata with all kinds of dents, bruises, and scratches on it.

Madonna then mentioned that Ann Coulter was right when she had said that Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt do not have children, they have a zoo.

Bedroom Pillow Talk will talk to both Angelina Jolie and Madonna and bring you any further developments in the 2012 Angelina Jolie-Madonna Feud.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
79 readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more