Written by Abel Rodriguez

Tuesday, 3 January 2012


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image for Katy Perry Denies That Russell Brand Filed For Divorce Due To Her Alleged Lesbian Affair With Rihanna
A lipstick imprint that Russell said Katy gave him on a white Post-It on Valentine's Day 2011.

LOS ANGELES - Russell Brand was in Tinsel Town visiting his lawyer and taking care of a few odds and ends in his upcoming divorce from Katy Perry.

Meanwhile his soon-to-be-ex-wife Katy Perry was staying in Barbados at the Caribbean mansion of Rihanna who had invited Katy to stay with her after her soon-to-be-ex-husband Russell Brand had dropped the December 30, divorce bombshell on her.

Rihanna and Katy had contacted Carolina Chipotle of Bedroom Pillow Talk and invited her down to the islands to get Perry's side of the story and to address some rumors which had just come off the rumor mill.

Katy made it very clear to Miss Chipotle that the reason why Russell had filed for a divorce was due to politics. She informed her that Russell is a staunch supporter of President Obama and that she is a huge supporter of Michele Bachmann.

Mrs. Brand added that at first her and Russell promised that they would not let politics come between them and actually wanted to have the type of pre-maid scandal marriage that Arnold Schwarzenegger and Maria Shriver had for so many years.

Both "Katy Did" and "Rusty" as they called each other, agreed that they would make it a point to check their political beliefs at the front door.

And Katy said that it worked for a while but then Russell started ordering all kinds of President Obama re-election material such as 200 Obama's Back in 2012 bumper stickers, 400 Oboy, Obama's My One and Only campaign buttons, and 1,000 yellow number 2 pencils with the inscription, President Obama Is Fixin Ta Kick Some GOP Ass Fa Shizzle Ma Nizzle.

She said that he quickly became obsessed with the president. Katy said that one time as the two sat at a Pizza Gal in Pomona Russell, suddenly out of the blue, stood up and started saying that Michele Bachmann is nothing but a sissified version of Sarah Palin.

He went on to say that the only real difference between Bachmann and Palin is that Bachmann smells like cheese and Palin smells like gun powder.

Katy said that she reminded Russell that Bachmann was from Minnesota and not Wisconsin (which is the cheese state). She said that he giggled and said that the two states were basically interchangeable like North Dakota and South Dakota.

Chipotle then asked Katy to talk about the Rihanna lesbian rumors that apparently had first surfaced in either Redondo Beach or up the California coast in Hermosa Beach.

Katy said that she had heard that the reason Russell had filed for divorce was because she had told him on Christmas Eve that when she sings the song "I Kissed A Girl" that she was thinking about Rihanna.

Perry said that it was an absolute crock of Betty Crocker crock pot crocodile crock.

She further pointed out that both girls like diddly dippers (wieners) way too much to want to mess around with things like female belly bumpin, gal groin doodling, or yodeling in the canyon.

Bedroom Pillow Talk will stay with the Brand-Perry divorce story and bring you any further developing developments as they develop.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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