Cameron Diaz Talks Openly About Justin Bieber, Her New Boobs, and Those Botox Rumors

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Wednesday, 25 January 2012


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BEVERLY HILLS - Cameron Diaz was sitting in her usual chair at The Haven of Hair Salon on Rodeo Drive where she had gone in for her monthly black root touch up.

The starlet's longtime hair stylist FuFi Fondue, noted hair stylist to the stars, remarked how different Cammy, as he calls her, looked since having had her breasts enhanced a few weeks ago.

She asked Fondue in what way did he feel that she looked different. Fufi, who is not the least bit shy, remarked that she had finally reached the point where her brand new sweater treats give her frontal view a more womanly look.

Cameron laughed and told him that he has a unique way of complimenting a woman.

Fondue said that he like his very close friend Ling Chow Rangoon of iRumors just calls 'em like he sees 'em.

The flamboyant hair stylist, whom Madonna has called a fancy dinner napkin in a world of moist towelettes, asked the 39-year-old Diaz about the rumor that she had said that if she was 20 years younger she would steal Justin Bieber away from his girlfriend Selena Gomez.

Diaz giggled and commented that it was no rumor as she had actually made that statement in a recent interview with Carolina Chipotle of Bedroom Pillow Talk.

The blonde actress added that she would like to appear in a motion picture where she is involved with Bieber in a May-December type of relationship kind of like the one Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher had.

FuFi was so taken by the mere thought of Cameron being Justin Bieber's "Cougar" that he spilled his Diet Papaya Margarita all over his pink Pamela Anderson Designer Beach Sandals.

After he regained his composure and had his assistant "Mr. Giggles" pour him another Diet Papaya Margarita he asked Cameron about the botox rumors.

Cameron blushed. She put down her copy of The Tinsel Town Times Tribune and said that she has heard the vicious rumors that she has gone in and had her forehead, her cheeks, her lips, and even her ears botoxed.

The actress who starred in Something About Mary stated emphatically that she has no idea where in the world the supermarket tabloid Just Saying got that story.

She then expressed that the story is totally false, completely inaccurate, and nothing but pure unadulterated, calorie-laden lies.

FuFi told her that he has known her for a lot of years and that he knows that she did get something done and he asked her to tell him off the record what it was.

Cameron shook her head and assured him that she has not had any work done. She then told him that the reason why she now looks as stunning as she does is due to a special beauty enhancing product that she has specially flown in from Mexicali, Mexico two times a week.

She reached in her purse and took out a bottle and showed it to Fondue. The white bottle contained some blue liquid and the label read Oil of Olé Olé Olé.

Diaz said that the product is brand new and is not even on the market yet. She said she is able to get it through a maid of hers who has a cousin who has a boyfriend who works in the factory that produces the product down in Mexico.

Cameron was told that the Oil of Olé Olé Olé is made from the ground up horns of Mexican fighting bulls. She added that the formula is a closely guarded secret but the contents also include other ingredients which include bits of tortilla, a jigger of Jose Cuervo Tequila, guacamole dip, and a pinch of piñata shavings.

SIDENOTE: Cameron Diaz told Bedroom Pillow Talk that she will soon be appearing with Harrison Ford in the next installment of the Indiana Jones series titled, Indiana Jones - The Sardonically Supercilious Search For The Vampire Creatures of Calcutta.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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