Charlie Sheen Seen Trying To Hit On Kobe's Soon-To-Be-Ex-Wife, Vanessa "The $75 Million Woman" Bryant

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Tuesday, 24 January 2012

image for Charlie Sheen Seen Trying To Hit On Kobe's Soon-To-Be-Ex-Wife, Vanessa "The $75 Million Woman" Bryant
A photo of the pizza that Vanessa Bryant ordered at The Pizza Doll in Hollywood.

HOLLYWOOD - Charlie Sheen alias "The Space Cadet" wasted no time as he was seen trying to hit on Vanessa Bryant at a Pizza Doll Restaurant located near Sunset and Vine.

Charlie was wearing an NFL New York Giants baseball cap and a New England Patriots number 85 football jersey which is the number worn by Chad Ochocinco.

Vanessa who was sitting at a booth by herself was wearing a pair of $400 Country Cowgirl brand jeans that looked like they were painted on and a black number 20 San Antonio Spurs basketball jersey which is Manu Ginobili's number.

According to a patron who was sitting in the next booth, Charlie walked up to the soon-to-be-ex-Los Angeles Lakers wife of Kobe Bryant and asked her how she was doing. Vanessa smiled politely and said that if she was doing any better she would not be able to stand it.

Sheen smiled and said that $75 mil will have a tendency to do that. "Tell me about it?" Vanessa remarked. "I just did" replied the ever to suavistic Sheen.

[EDITOR'S NOTE: I really wasn't sure on the definition of the word 'suavistic' so I looked it up. It means 'the act of displaying a polished smoothness in manner, speech, or style.']

According to another eye witness Charlie then asked Vannie, as Khloe Kardashian calls her, if she was dating anyone yet. Mrs. Bryant rolled her eyes and informed Mr. Sheen that she was not and that once she decides to start dating it will certainly not be anyone who is a sports figure, an actor, a singer, or who is in the entertainment business.

Sheen let out a half-hearted laugh. He looked very surprised and asked her if she would be willing to date someone who sold shoes for a living.

Vanessa put down her slice of pizza and firmly replied, "Mr. Sheen, I would date a used car salesman before I date another man who is in the entertainment field and who thinks that he can just go around poking ever-so-willing skanks just because he cannot control the volcanic-like activity in his crotch region."

Charlie grinned like the California cat that swallowed the Colorado canary and replied, "Mrs. Bryant, you have a damn good point. I totally get where you are coming from. And I fully respect your decision."

Sheen then raised his eyebrows and added joyfully, "And could I interest you in a 2007 Chevrolet Caprice?"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more