The Reason Why Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie Want To Adopt X-Factor's Rachel Crow and Drew Ryniewicz

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Thursday, 12 January 2012

image for The Reason Why Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie Want To Adopt X-Factor's Rachel Crow and Drew Ryniewicz
Angelina Jolie and her six kids appeared as extras in Brad Pitt's movie "Moneyball."

NEW YORK CITY - Brad Pitt was all smiles as he won the Best Actor Award at the 77th New York Film Critics Circle Award Gala for his portrayal of Billy Beane in the baseball film Moneyball.

Pitt who was hobbling and walking with the aid of a $7,298 walking cane said that he hurt his leg in a snow skiing accident but the word on the streets of Brooklyn and the Bronx is that his partner, the quick-tempered Angelina Jolie hit him with a karate kick.

A reporter for iRumors stated that she spoke with Jolie and when she asked Angelina if she had in fact kicked Brad she merely smiled and made her right hand into a pistol, fired it, and blew the imaginary barrel smoke into the air.

Vodka Vermicelli of iRumors asked her if it was true that her and Brad and their half dozen (6) kids watched every episode of this year's X-Factor in which Melanie Amaro from Florida won.

She replied that they did. Angelina added that she was pulling for Melanie and that Brad was going for Josh Krajcik. She said that they even made a little bet which Jolie won. When asked, she refused to say how much the bet was for.

[EDITOR'S NOTE: I placed a quick call to my old pal Larry King and he informed me that Angelina won $800,000 which Brad handed over to her in cash].

Miss V of iRumors then asked Angelina who their six kids liked. She smiled from ear-to-ear and said that three were pulling for Rachel Crow and three were going for Drew Ryniewicz.

Jolie said that when Drew was eliminated Maddox Chivalrous, Zahara Desert, and Pax Lax were all devastated. And then when Rachel was sent home Shiloh Diamond and the twins Knox Kabob and Viviene Sushi went ballistic.

Angie said that Shiloh, who is the little 5-year-old girl who dresses like a little boy, got so mad and upset that she picked up Zahara Desert and was getting ready to body slam her onto the floor but luckily the upstairs cook saw her and jumped at her before she could drop Zahara to the floor.

Jolie told Miss V that her and Brad have talked about the possibility of adopting both Rachel and Drew. She said that both girls are such wonderfully well-behaved young ladies and they want them in their home so they can be role-models for their half dozen kids; or Brad's Brats as George Clooney calls them.

Angelina remarked that her and Brad would of course do everything they can to help Rachel and Drew in their singing careers such as buying a recording studio for them to use to record their songs.

SIDENOTE: Simon Cowell who owns the contract rights to both Rachel and Drew said that he would be willing to sit down and talk to Mr. Pitt and Ms. Jolie and see if they can arrive at some kind of a business deal.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more