Blame Toby Keith

First of all, all Americans owe Toby Keith a long overdue thank you for releasing the kick-ass song Brought To You Courtesy Of The Red, White, And Blue as the dust cleared after the tragedy on 9/11. Since he warned the Jihadists of the world that he would "put a boot in their ass because it's the American way," how many domestic terror attacks has the US sustained in the last nearly 10 years? Exa...

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One Man Freak Show At Granite Fairgrounds

Granite Co.- Chuck Unger, the typically reserved and grizzled dairy farmer from Tuckersville, Pa., is now officially a freak. Well, at least from August 21-27. Organizers of the Granite County Fair, an extremely popular annual event, have decid...

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Paula Deen Keeps On 'Whiskin'

Funny story: Paula Deen Keeps On 'Whiskin'

There are some things Paula Deen doesn't plan on giving up, like food, food, glorious food. But as the celebrity chef reaches out to her adorable fans she admits there is one huge indulgence she's had to completely eliminate from her diet. "I g...

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Spoof writer decides to call it a day!

Funny story: Spoof writer decides to call it a day!

Cheers and laughter were heard all over the Spoof HQ today, when the news broke that one of thier best loved writers was; "Calling it a day". Mr Armfeetandtoe, announced his decision to friends and fellow writers in a written statement, read out b...

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David Cameron, Andy Coulson, Nat Rothschild and Peter Mandelson on Oleg Deripaska yacht: videotape emerges

Funny story: David Cameron, Andy Coulson, Nat Rothschild and Peter Mandelson on Oleg Deripaska yacht: videotape emerges

London - The Royal YouBoob! channel has received millions of new hits after someone posted footage of the pleasure boat piss-up without any airbrushing of the two main protagonists. At noon today at a packed PMQs the PM told the Commons he was 're...

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Betty White Says That If Ron Paul Wasn't Married, She'd Be All Over Him Like Stripes on A Zebra!

Funny story: Betty White Says That If Ron Paul Wasn't Married, She'd Be All Over Him Like Stripes on A Zebra!

BEVERLY HILLS - Betty White just recently celebrated her 90th birthday and the feisty Hollywood gal does not show any signs of slowing down. She is seriously considering an offer to appear in next season's edition of Dancing With The Stars as well...

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Arsenal fans turn on Thierry Henry for lack of va-va voom

Funny story: Arsenal fans turn on Thierry Henry for lack of va-va voom

Thierry Henry was involved in an altercation with an Arsenal supporter when the players went across to applaud their followers after the final whistle of their defeat at Swansea City on Sunday. It is understood the on-loan forward took exception...

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Boris Johnson International Airport To Open In Thames Estuary

Funny story: Boris Johnson International Airport To Open In Thames Estuary

Following the refusal of the British Aviation Authority to rename Heathrow or Gatwick airports after him, London Mayor, Boris Johnson has renewed his attempts to open a new international airport in the Thames estuary, between Lancashire and Cumbria,...

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At Last - A Credible Euro Strategy!

After casting around in vain for over a year in search of an economically literate plan to save the Eurozone which could command the confidence of the financial markets EU President Herman van Rompuy announced today that the Council of Ministers had...

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Rejected student tells Oxford to "F++k Off"!

Funny story: Rejected student tells Oxford to "F++k Off"!

A wee young lassie student who applied to enter the prestigious University of Oxford to study law was rejected, so she decided to reject the University by telling them to "F++k Off" (well not really, but nearly). In fact, after hearing of her reje...

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Britain's Hottest Diet causes dieters to shed ten kilos a week

Funny story: Britain's Hottest Diet causes dieters to shed ten kilos a week

The latest fad diet to streak across Britain is the Britain's Hottest Diet diet, which has left some dieters so emaciated that they qualify for NHS anorexia aid. "This diet really works," said Anne Heemia housewife, who shed thirty kilos in three...

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Armenian loses his head in Hollywood!

Funny story: Armenian loses his head in Hollywood!

Two doggies walking their owners along the rocks where the famous Hollywood sign hangs found something round and packed in plastic. Without ado they decided to have a kick-about, but their owners, worried that they would kick the round thing over the...

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Swiss Central Bank chief resorts to face grilling

In a drastic plan to evade prosecution for fraud, Pierre Bagsoffit, Chief of Swiss Central Bank, thought he'd try a bit of face grilling. Bagsoffit had amassed nearly 5 billion euros by distorting accounts and sometimes adding too many noughts. Wh...

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Mystic Falls to visit Charlotte

Funny story: Mystic Falls to visit Charlotte

Still, Charlotte appears in the TV series The Vampire Diaries. As we learned from some sources here in the next series of the show Nina Dobrev will play three roles simultaneously. "Charlotte is, so to say, original. But Helen and Catherine, it do...

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Jam Manufacturer to Enter Strange Flavor Market

Funny story: Jam Manufacturer to Enter Strange Flavor Market

Following the successful business models set forth by Jelly Belly candies and the Ben & Jerry Ice Cream company, Smuckster's also hopes to cash in with its own blends of strange jam and jelly flavors. Ice cream flavors with names like Moose Tr...

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Chuck Norris to Represent Chuck Norris Party in Bid for Presidency

Funny story: Chuck Norris to Represent Chuck Norris Party in Bid for Presidency

Following what many believe to be examples of ridiculous and juvenile leadership styles from the Republican candidates on the debate trail as well as from the Democrats in Washington, Chuck Norris has decided to take the U.S. Presidency in 2013. No...

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Lohan Crashes Weinstein Party with Centerfold Invitation

Funny story: Lohan Crashes Weinstein Party with Centerfold Invitation

Without a Golden Globe invitation or her name appearing on any guest list, Lindsay Lohan brought her buxom luggage stuffed neatly into a tailored Prada dress, as she crashed the Weinstein Company After Party. Reportedly handing the party's recep...

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Lingerie Ad 'Unlikely To Seriously Offend Jews'

Funny story: Lingerie Ad 'Unlikely To Seriously Offend Jews'

The Advertising Standards Authority has rejected a complaint about a Calvin Klein lingerie poster. An ultra-Orthodox Jew claimed that the poster - featuring five models in the designer smalls - was offensive to fellow believers who are forbidden t...

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Man Dies After 'Wrong Version' Song Resuscitation

Funny story: Man Dies After 'Wrong Version' Song Resuscitation

Tragedy struck today on the streets of London, after an American tourist suffered a heart attack and was then finished off by a well meaning teenager trying to administer first aid. The victim, Barry Goldfinch, 47, had complained of feeling unwell...

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Sherlock Holmes's Fury At Dartmoor Parking Charges

Funny story: Sherlock Holmes's Fury At Dartmoor Parking Charges

A top local detective is furious at the introduction of parking charges on Dartmoor. The move follows cuts to the national park's funding. There has been an angry reaction to plans to replace "honesty boxes" with £4-a-day ticket machines. But m...

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Diamond Jubilee turd flotilla revealed

Funny story: Diamond Jubilee turd flotilla revealed

London - The Queen and Prince Philip will have a commanding view from their gilt Poop Deck thrones Jubilee organisers said today. Most of the floaters will be provided from royal estates septic tanks which have been groaning under excess Yuletide...

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Angelina Jolie Furious As Brad Pitt Spotted At A Topless Bar

Funny story: Angelina Jolie Furious As Brad Pitt Spotted At A Topless Bar

NEW YORK CITY - It is really no secret that the Brad Pitt - Angelina Jolie relationship has had more ups and downs than the Cyclone Roller Coaster at Astroland in Brooklyn. During their six years together the couple dubbed Brangelina have snickere...

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Easy life for Abu Qatada

Funny story: Easy life for Abu Qatada

The European Court of Human Rights has ruled that Abu Qatada the suspected 'right hand man' of Osama bin Laden should not be deported in spite of the UK's attempts to see the back of him. In their ruling the Court went further than many expected s...

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Kristen Stewart to Shoot Hot Steamy Scene with Taylor Lautner in Post Breaking Dawn Film

Funny story: Kristen Stewart to Shoot Hot Steamy Scene with Taylor Lautner in Post Breaking Dawn Film

Twilight Saga actors Kristen Stewart and Taylor Lautner are not very happy about their movie Breaking Dawn getting snubbed this film award season, so they've vowed to make a comeback after their Twilight contract is up. "I don't understand what...

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George Lucas Retires from Hollywood, Plans First Art Film

Funny story: George Lucas Retires from Hollywood, Plans First Art Film

Following an announcement from George Lucas that he has retired from Hollywood and all the action and fantasy-adventure movies he's best known for, Lucas is reportedly working on his first independent art film from a secluded ranch in the Grand Teton...

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O2 buy the Centre Circle of Stamford Bridge

Funny story: O2 buy the Centre Circle of Stamford Bridge

Chelsea football club have made the unusual step of selling the centre circle on the pitch of Stamford Bridge to the mobile phone giant, O2. "We're not sure what we will do with the newly acquired land," said O2 property manager, Ray Diao. "Initi...

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Prince William becomes patron saint of offenders charity

Funny story: Prince William becomes patron saint of offenders charity

London - An ex-lags self-help club has picked Prince William to be its official mouthpiece it was announced today. The Royal Gravytrains Anonymous sinecure comes just days after Kate Middleton took on the patronage of the Snouts-in-the-Trough Asso...

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RBS propose to pay Chief Executive £7m, and investment Executive £5m Bonus!

Funny story: RBS propose to pay Chief Executive £7m, and investment Executive £5m Bonus!

The Guardian: The Royal Bank of Scotland proposes to give a £5million bonus to its investment banking chief, with another £7million for its chief executive More than three years after bankers brought the country to the brink of collapse, their cavalier destruction of British businesses goes on and on. Look at Peacocks, the retailer which employs more than 10,000 across the UK. At the heig...

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Responses to Cameron Popularity Poll in Nottingham

Funny story: Responses to Cameron Popularity Poll in Nottingham

We asked the Nottingham firm of Tymoshchuck, Kuzmanovic, & Mulumbu, Real-Time-Poll-Assessors, if they would do a poll in Nottingham, to find out just what the people think of David Cameron. The branch manager, Branislav Pavlyuchenko, agreed, as long as his polster's could carry out the canvassing in disguise. we agreed. We said we would like the question asked: 'What do you think of Cam...

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The Spoof to be closed for one day in protest alongside Wikipedia

Funny story: The Spoof to be closed for one day in protest alongside Wikipedia

Popular artificial news site The Spoof will be supporting WikiPedia's stance on the US copyright laws by going dark for twenty-four hours. "Under new US legislation," said editor Mark Lowton, "much of the content of The Spoof would be illegal and...

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Brian Cox Gets Rocket Over Switch Channel Comments

Funny story: Brian Cox Gets Rocket Over Switch Channel Comments

TV space boffin Brian Cox has been given a "rocket up the arse" by BBC bosses for urging members of his audience to change channels. Cox was presenting the second episode in BBC2's three-night astronomy spectacular Stargazing Live with Irish comic...

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John Lewis Delivery Service Leaves Local Man A Gibbering Wreck

Funny story: John Lewis Delivery Service Leaves Local Man A Gibbering Wreck

A local man was recovering at home today after a top department store delivered a new washing machine. Mr Pendulum Vase, 47, of Bective Avenue, was found collapsed on the living room floor about 4pm yesterday by his wife Primula. She said: "We...

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Donald Trump To Buy Madison Square Garden

Funny story: Donald Trump To Buy Madison Square Garden

NEW YORK CITY - Donald Trump in a surprise move has made an offer to purchase the world's most famous arena Madison Square Garden. The billionaire who still is considering running for the office of president of the United States told a close frien...

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Kidnapped Grandma forced to rob bank with Bomb. Claims: It was the most fun I have ever had in my Entire Life

Funny story: Kidnapped Grandma forced to rob bank with Bomb. Claims: It was the most fun I have ever had in my Entire Life

A New Orleans, Louisiana grandma, 67 year old Anna Flakes, joyfully told a group of arresting officers that her experience of having been abducted, fitted with a live bomb and forced to rob a bank was the most fun she has ever had in her entire life.

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Ian Somerhalder Goes Green All The Way!

Funny story: Ian Somerhalder Goes Green All The Way!

The multi-ubiquitous heartthrob and runaway star of TVD spoke recently with the Green Giant of Le Sueur, Minnesota. Professing his desire for increased education of all things green, the founder of the ISF wished to convey his appreciation for the G...

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Week 7 Power Rankings: Tuckersville Slow Pitch Softball League

Shake-ups abound after another raucous week of underhand toss competition. Week 7 has proven that the dynamics of an entire league can be drastically altered overnight; all it takes is the world's worst managerial decision (comon', pinch hitting a man in a coma!?), an entire team whose namesake has filed for Chapter 11 Bankruptcy Protection, and the arrest of a certain right fielder (yeah, that s...

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Cameron Diaz Reveals The Amazing Reason Why She Had Breast Augmentation Surgery

Funny story: Cameron Diaz Reveals The Amazing Reason Why She Had Breast Augmentation Surgery

HONOLULU - Cameron Diaz was sunning herself on Honolulu Beach oblivious to the crowd that had formed around her. As she looked up she suddenly noticed that she had at least a dozen admirers. Cameron who has never been shy suddenly stood up and beg...

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Romney unveils new definition for 'not very much" money: $374,327

Funny story: Romney unveils new definition for 'not very much" money: $374,327

FLORENCE, South Car. - In a year that has seen a football player's name turned into a verb (to tebow), Mitt Romney has decided to provide a new definition for "not very much" money. Romney had just revealed that he paid about 15% in income taxes o...

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Sick Child Defeats Illness. Townspeople Pissed.

Tuckersville, Pa.- Nine-year-old roller coaster enthusiast Elliot Karstens has set off a firestorm among the residents of his rural Pennsylvania town by overcoming steep odds and defeating a rare form of lung cancer. A little more than a year ago...

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Dog receives detention after eating boy's homework

Funny story: Dog receives detention after eating boy's homework

When 13 year-old Harry Macintosh, an pupil of St. David's High School in Ontario, Canada, neglected to hand in his homework on the morning of Monday 9th, a shocking turn of events meant that his dog, 4 year-old German shepherd Indiana, was placed in...

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EPA to Penalize Failure to Use "Carbon-Free Unicorn Gas"

Funny story: EPA to Penalize Failure to Use "Carbon-Free Unicorn Gas"

SAN FRANCISCO - Corporations which fail to use EPA mandated "Carbon-Free Unicorn Gas" may face almost $7 Million in fines as warnings from the Federal Government were issued with the arrival of a new year. Objections are loud and numerous over a requ...

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Paedophile found guilty... of being awesome!

Funny story: Paedophile found guilty... of being awesome!

Today a convicted Devonshire paedophile, who has asked to remain anonymous, was recently labeled 'awesome' by a group of fans, who have been camping outside his house and filming his hilarious antics Jackass-style for the last 14 days. One 22 year-ol...

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