Blame Toby Keith
First of all, all Americans owe Toby Keith a long overdue thank you for releasing the kick-ass song Brought To You Courtesy Of The Red, White, And Blue as the dust cleared after the tragedy on 9/11. Since he warned the Jihadists of the world that he would "put a boot in their ass because it's the American way," how many domestic terror attacks has the US sustained in the last nearly 10 years? Exa...Read full story
One Man Freak Show At Granite Fairgrounds
Granite Co.- Chuck Unger, the typically reserved and grizzled dairy farmer from Tuckersville, Pa., is now officially a freak. Well, at least from August 21-27. Organizers of the Granite County Fair, an extremely popular annual event, have decid...Read full story
Paula Deen Keeps On 'Whiskin'
There are some things Paula Deen doesn't plan on giving up, like food, food, glorious food. But as the celebrity chef reaches out to her adorable fans she admits there is one huge indulgence she's had to completely eliminate from her diet. "I g...Read full story
Spoof writer decides to call it a day!
Cheers and laughter were heard all over the Spoof HQ today, when the news broke that one of thier best loved writers was; "Calling it a day". Mr Armfeetandtoe, announced his decision to friends and fellow writers in a written statement, read out b...Read full story
David Cameron, Andy Coulson, Nat Rothschild and Peter Mandelson on Oleg Deripaska yacht: videotape emerges
London - The Royal YouBoob! channel has received millions of new hits after someone posted footage of the pleasure boat piss-up without any airbrushing of the two main protagonists. At noon today at a packed PMQs the PM told the Commons he was 're...Read full story
Betty White Says That If Ron Paul Wasn't Married, She'd Be All Over Him Like Stripes on A Zebra!
BEVERLY HILLS - Betty White just recently celebrated her 90th birthday and the feisty Hollywood gal does not show any signs of slowing down. She is seriously considering an offer to appear in next season's edition of Dancing With The Stars as well...Read full story
Arsenal fans turn on Thierry Henry for lack of va-va voom
Thierry Henry was involved in an altercation with an Arsenal supporter when the players went across to applaud their followers after the final whistle of their defeat at Swansea City on Sunday. It is understood the on-loan forward took exception...Read full story
Boris Johnson International Airport To Open In Thames Estuary
Following the refusal of the British Aviation Authority to rename Heathrow or Gatwick airports after him, London Mayor, Boris Johnson has renewed his attempts to open a new international airport in the Thames estuary, between Lancashire and Cumbria,...Read full story
At Last - A Credible Euro Strategy!
After casting around in vain for over a year in search of an economically literate plan to save the Eurozone which could command the confidence of the financial markets EU President Herman van Rompuy announced today that the Council of Ministers had...Read full story
Rejected student tells Oxford to "F++k Off"!
A wee young lassie student who applied to enter the prestigious University of Oxford to study law was rejected, so she decided to reject the University by telling them to "F++k Off" (well not really, but nearly). In fact, after hearing of her reje...Read full story
Britain's Hottest Diet causes dieters to shed ten kilos a week
The latest fad diet to streak across Britain is the Britain's Hottest Diet diet, which has left some dieters so emaciated that they qualify for NHS anorexia aid. "This diet really works," said Anne Heemia housewife, who shed thirty kilos in three...Read full story
Armenian loses his head in Hollywood!
Two doggies walking their owners along the rocks where the famous Hollywood sign hangs found something round and packed in plastic. Without ado they decided to have a kick-about, but their owners, worried that they would kick the round thing over the...Read full story
Swiss Central Bank chief resorts to face grilling
In a drastic plan to evade prosecution for fraud, Pierre Bagsoffit, Chief of Swiss Central Bank, thought he'd try a bit of face grilling. Bagsoffit had amassed nearly 5 billion euros by distorting accounts and sometimes adding too many noughts. Wh...Read full story
Mystic Falls to visit Charlotte
Still, Charlotte appears in the TV series The Vampire Diaries. As we learned from some sources here in the next series of the show Nina Dobrev will play three roles simultaneously. "Charlotte is, so to say, original. But Helen and Catherine, it do...Read full story
Jam Manufacturer to Enter Strange Flavor Market
Following the successful business models set forth by Jelly Belly candies and the Ben & Jerry Ice Cream company, Smuckster's also hopes to cash in with its own blends of strange jam and jelly flavors. Ice cream flavors with names like Moose Tr...Read full story
Chuck Norris to Represent Chuck Norris Party in Bid for Presidency
Following what many believe to be examples of ridiculous and juvenile leadership styles from the Republican candidates on the debate trail as well as from the Democrats in Washington, Chuck Norris has decided to take the U.S. Presidency in 2013. No...Read full story
Lohan Crashes Weinstein Party with Centerfold Invitation
Without a Golden Globe invitation or her name appearing on any guest list, Lindsay Lohan brought her buxom luggage stuffed neatly into a tailored Prada dress, as she crashed the Weinstein Company After Party. Reportedly handing the party's recep...Read full story
Lingerie Ad 'Unlikely To Seriously Offend Jews'
The Advertising Standards Authority has rejected a complaint about a Calvin Klein lingerie poster. An ultra-Orthodox Jew claimed that the poster - featuring five models in the designer smalls - was offensive to fellow believers who are forbidden t...Read full story
Man Dies After 'Wrong Version' Song Resuscitation
Tragedy struck today on the streets of London, after an American tourist suffered a heart attack and was then finished off by a well meaning teenager trying to administer first aid. The victim, Barry Goldfinch, 47, had complained of feeling unwell...Read full story
Sherlock Holmes's Fury At Dartmoor Parking Charges
A top local detective is furious at the introduction of parking charges on Dartmoor. The move follows cuts to the national park's funding. There has been an angry reaction to plans to replace "honesty boxes" with £4-a-day ticket machines. But m...Read full story
Diamond Jubilee turd flotilla revealed
London - The Queen and Prince Philip will have a commanding view from their gilt Poop Deck thrones Jubilee organisers said today. Most of the floaters will be provided from royal estates septic tanks which have been groaning under excess Yuletide...Read full story
Angelina Jolie Furious As Brad Pitt Spotted At A Topless Bar
NEW YORK CITY - It is really no secret that the Brad Pitt - Angelina Jolie relationship has had more ups and downs than the Cyclone Roller Coaster at Astroland in Brooklyn. During their six years together the couple dubbed Brangelina have snickere...Read full story
Easy life for Abu Qatada
The European Court of Human Rights has ruled that Abu Qatada the suspected 'right hand man' of Osama bin Laden should not be deported in spite of the UK's attempts to see the back of him. In their ruling the Court went further than many expected s...Read full story
Kristen Stewart to Shoot Hot Steamy Scene with Taylor Lautner in Post Breaking Dawn Film
Twilight Saga actors Kristen Stewart and Taylor Lautner are not very happy about their movie Breaking Dawn getting snubbed this film award season, so they've vowed to make a comeback after their Twilight contract is up. "I don't understand what...Read full story
George Lucas Retires from Hollywood, Plans First Art Film
Following an announcement from George Lucas that he has retired from Hollywood and all the action and fantasy-adventure movies he's best known for, Lucas is reportedly working on his first independent art film from a secluded ranch in the Grand Teton...Read full story
O2 buy the Centre Circle of Stamford Bridge
Chelsea football club have made the unusual step of selling the centre circle on the pitch of Stamford Bridge to the mobile phone giant, O2. "We're not sure what we will do with the newly acquired land," said O2 property manager, Ray Diao. "Initi...Read full story
Prince William becomes patron saint of offenders charity
London - An ex-lags self-help club has picked Prince William to be its official mouthpiece it was announced today. The Royal Gravytrains Anonymous sinecure comes just days after Kate Middleton took on the patronage of the Snouts-in-the-Trough Asso...Read full story
RBS propose to pay Chief Executive £7m, and investment Executive £5m Bonus!
The Guardian: The Royal Bank of Scotland proposes to give a £5million bonus to its investment banking chief, with another £7million for its chief executive More than three years after bankers brought the country to the brink of collapse, their cavalier destruction of British businesses goes on and on. Look at Peacocks, the retailer which employs more than 10,000 across the UK. At the heig...Read full story
Responses to Cameron Popularity Poll in Nottingham
We asked the Nottingham firm of Tymoshchuck, Kuzmanovic, & Mulumbu, Real-Time-Poll-Assessors, if they would do a poll in Nottingham, to find out just what the people think of David Cameron. The branch manager, Branislav Pavlyuchenko, agreed, as long as his polster's could carry out the canvassing in disguise. we agreed. We said we would like the question asked: 'What do you think of Cam...Read full story
The Spoof to be closed for one day in protest alongside Wikipedia
Popular artificial news site The Spoof will be supporting WikiPedia's stance on the US copyright laws by going dark for twenty-four hours. "Under new US legislation," said editor Mark Lowton, "much of the content of The Spoof would be illegal and...Read full story
Brian Cox Gets Rocket Over Switch Channel Comments
TV space boffin Brian Cox has been given a "rocket up the arse" by BBC bosses for urging members of his audience to change channels. Cox was presenting the second episode in BBC2's three-night astronomy spectacular Stargazing Live with Irish comic...Read full story
John Lewis Delivery Service Leaves Local Man A Gibbering Wreck
A local man was recovering at home today after a top department store delivered a new washing machine. Mr Pendulum Vase, 47, of Bective Avenue, was found collapsed on the living room floor about 4pm yesterday by his wife Primula. She said: "We...Read full story
Donald Trump To Buy Madison Square Garden
NEW YORK CITY - Donald Trump in a surprise move has made an offer to purchase the world's most famous arena Madison Square Garden. The billionaire who still is considering running for the office of president of the United States told a close frien...Read full story
Kidnapped Grandma forced to rob bank with Bomb. Claims: It was the most fun I have ever had in my Entire Life
A New Orleans, Louisiana grandma, 67 year old Anna Flakes, joyfully told a group of arresting officers that her experience of having been abducted, fitted with a live bomb and forced to rob a bank was the most fun she has ever had in her entire life.Read full story
Ian Somerhalder Goes Green All The Way!
The multi-ubiquitous heartthrob and runaway star of TVD spoke recently with the Green Giant of Le Sueur, Minnesota. Professing his desire for increased education of all things green, the founder of the ISF wished to convey his appreciation for the G...Read full story
Week 7 Power Rankings: Tuckersville Slow Pitch Softball League
Shake-ups abound after another raucous week of underhand toss competition. Week 7 has proven that the dynamics of an entire league can be drastically altered overnight; all it takes is the world's worst managerial decision (comon', pinch hitting a man in a coma!?), an entire team whose namesake has filed for Chapter 11 Bankruptcy Protection, and the arrest of a certain right fielder (yeah, that s...Read full story
Cameron Diaz Reveals The Amazing Reason Why She Had Breast Augmentation Surgery
HONOLULU - Cameron Diaz was sunning herself on Honolulu Beach oblivious to the crowd that had formed around her. As she looked up she suddenly noticed that she had at least a dozen admirers. Cameron who has never been shy suddenly stood up and beg...Read full story
Romney unveils new definition for 'not very much" money: $374,327
FLORENCE, South Car. - In a year that has seen a football player's name turned into a verb (to tebow), Mitt Romney has decided to provide a new definition for "not very much" money. Romney had just revealed that he paid about 15% in income taxes o...Read full story
Sick Child Defeats Illness. Townspeople Pissed.
Tuckersville, Pa.- Nine-year-old roller coaster enthusiast Elliot Karstens has set off a firestorm among the residents of his rural Pennsylvania town by overcoming steep odds and defeating a rare form of lung cancer. A little more than a year ago...Read full story
Dog receives detention after eating boy's homework
When 13 year-old Harry Macintosh, an pupil of St. David's High School in Ontario, Canada, neglected to hand in his homework on the morning of Monday 9th, a shocking turn of events meant that his dog, 4 year-old German shepherd Indiana, was placed in...Read full story
EPA to Penalize Failure to Use "Carbon-Free Unicorn Gas"
SAN FRANCISCO - Corporations which fail to use EPA mandated "Carbon-Free Unicorn Gas" may face almost $7 Million in fines as warnings from the Federal Government were issued with the arrival of a new year. Objections are loud and numerous over a requ...Read full story
Paedophile found guilty... of being awesome!
Today a convicted Devonshire paedophile, who has asked to remain anonymous, was recently labeled 'awesome' by a group of fans, who have been camping outside his house and filming his hilarious antics Jackass-style for the last 14 days. One 22 year-ol...Read full story