American Author Dies Attempting British Spoof
PICADILLY CIRCUS, London - An unidentified American tourist died today while visiting a British satirical. The bloke had just stepped from the lift coming up from the tube. He was enjoying the many colours, odours, and flavours of Picadilly when...
Read full story5 things you need to survive a night on the lash
An Asian bar. An eighteenth birthday meal. And the Birthday Boy lashed on three cans of Strongbow. What could possibly go wrong? The night soon descended into chaos when he started to smear curry on the tablesheets. Two pints later and we were soon making our excuses. But how can you avoid these circumstances? As always, Masterchev Inc. have the answers which will help you solve any unnec...
Read full storyEva Longoria Is Desperately Looking For A Tattoo Removal Specialist
SAN ANTONIO - Eva Longoria, who has already dropped using the name Parker after her maiden name, sat visiting in the home of fellow San Antonians Mr. and Mrs. George Strait. Eva had been invited to the luxurious Strait mansion by the country music...
Read full storyFamily of four found living under William Shatner's toupee
Startling reports out of Los Angeles this afternoon reveal that a practically microscopic family has been living under William Shatner's toupee for decades without notice. The shockingly teeny Mudd family apparently migrated from the fur of a tri...
Read full storyWar between Barbara Bush and Sarah Palin Heats Up
It is becoming increasingly clear that the established Republicans don't have much love for Ms. Sarah Palin. And it is also becoming crystal clear that Sarah Palin couldn't give a rat's ass if they do or not. In fact, she is going out of her way, it...
Read full storyAshley Greene Embarrassed At Twilight Party
Friends of Kristen Stewart will probably get a great laugh out of the Ashley Greene embarrassment at a recent small party given by the head honchos of the Twilight movies. A bit part player says that there were about fifty or so of them gathered i...
Read full story"O.J. The Musical" Set For Production!
Some thirteen years after the trial which captured the World's imagination and held it riveted for months, the entire story has been released as "O.J. The Musical"! Martin Scorcese's first live theater musical will star Bruce Willis as O.J., Lady...
Read full storyElin Nordegren Seeing Alex Rodriguiz, Wants To Have More Children As Tiger Roars
It seems that it was OK for a married Tiger Woods to have lovers all over the country but Elin Nordegren doesn't deserve the right to get married again and begin to have more kids. "That's exactly what she's going to do", stated Elin's sister. "Sh...
Read full storyBrand New WikiLeaks Revelation That Will Send Shockwaves Round the World
A shocking new revelation from WikiLeaks can be revealed here for the first time...and its a real shocker that is set to rock the world on its very foundation, and could cause the collapse of a world giant. The new revelation comes in the Winter...
Read full storyBuying Toys on Credit for Grandkids Burying Seniors in Debt
More and more seniors are seeing their overall debt to income ratio increase due to the overwhelming urge to buy toys for their grandkids on credit to keep them in their good graces. According to a study, a large majority of seniors 60 and over lost...
Read full storyArsene Wenger Spends A Day Abusing Fan At Work
It has been revealed that Arsenal manager Arsene Wenger was this week given unrivalled access in to the life of an Arsenal season ticket holder who verbally abused him from the stands throughout the second half of his teams shock defeat to Champions...
Read full storyMichael Jackson's Gifts Compared to Those of Musical Genius Wagner
The Skills of Michael Jackson have tonight been compared to those of the great musical genius, Wagner. The shock comparison was made by a man who knows Genius when he sees it. Yes, that's right Louis Walsh. Louis Walsh says that Michael and Wa...
Read full storyKim Jong Il Earns Nickname 'Lil Dick'
North Korea's bombing of a residential district on a South Korean island this past week has the entire world on edge to see what lies ahead. The United States is already responding to the threat while holding talks with China to ask for their assista...
Read full storyBasketcase Obama in stitches - sounds like another presidential pretzel moment!
Washington AC/DC - (Ass Mess): A basketball injury has seen President Obama's mouth sewn up by emergency room surgeons. The last time White House medics had a chance to practice their blanket stitch techniques was when a half-cut George W Bush fel...
Read full storyChicago High School Replaces Gym Equipment With Nintendo Wii Stations
Chicago's George Washington High School is the first in the nation to bring its gymnasium into the 21st century by replacing all of its gym equipment, including balls, bats, paddles and nets with two big-screen Nintendo Wii Stations. The idea spun ou...
Read full storyU.S Shortage Of Condoms Reaches Critical Stage!
It may be the biggest shopping weekend of the year but the other celebrations will just have to wait awhile. "We can't have sex without condoms", stated one customer for the sixth time since he arrived at a bar three hours ago and decided to stay...
Read full storyGhana bans the sales of second hand knickers, what a load of old "pussy"!
The selling of second hand knickers has been banned in Ghana: Markets, second-hand shops, even brothels are not allowed to issue used knickers to Ghanaian women, even if they can't afford new ones. This situation has caused a lot of pleasure for G...
Read full storyGuerilla Warfare Breaks Out as Irish Lad Challenges Thai Guy Over Featured Writer Award on Prestigious Writers' Site!
What was once an inane, harmless joke perpetrated on the unpaid writers for the Spoof.com, by it's shadowy editor, has now prompted open warfare over the previously little regarded FEATURED WRITER award that randomly pops up now and again to rando...
Read full storyIrish Government Apologises For Jedward
The Irish Government has today sent out a public, heartfelt apology to the world for having spawned the crap-pop-freak show Jedward. The apology was particularly aimed the people of the UK, who have had to suffer this inhuman blight more than anyone...
Read full storyD notice - You need to read this
In case you are not aware, the UK government has issued a D notice which simply means that anyone in the UK, needs to ask permission of the tragic Tories and chums, to read US information. Aimed at Wikileaks, latest release of millions of US documents, these D notices are intended to prevent UK residents reading goodness knows what. What is a D notice? Issuing D notices is a rare tool used b...
Read full storyLady Gaga Furious! Says That A TSA 'Pat Down' Should Not Last Twenty Minutes
SAN FRANCISCO - Lady Gaga had just finished performing at the famous Cow Pasture Palace in San Francisco when she was asked about her 'pat down' incident down at LAX Airport in Los Angeles. Gaga told a reporter for West Coast Mirror magazine, Sigo...
Read full storyFive Things You Need to Survive Winter
Tired of watching six inches of snow outside your house? Wondering how you can survive winter, even though you live in a comfy house with central heating and the works? Are you a naturist? If so, you'll love the Masterchev "Five Things You Need to Survive Winter"! As you may have guessed, there are five things you need to survive the cold breezy nights. 1) A partner of the opposite sex Alwa...
Read full storyCold Weather Hots Up
Passions are high at the meteorological office, more heat is being engendered than the cold snap in February. 'It is so exciting' said Met Chief Isobar Therm 'and it is going to get better. We will be headline news all next week.' However homel...
Read full storyCity Discovered In Drug Smuggling Tunnel
A drug smuggling tunnel was discovered today in Tijuana, it crossed from Mexico into America. The DEA was shocked and surprised when they found the tunnel was not only a tunnel, but there was a small city thriving there. There was a grocery store, m...
Read full storyThe Truth Behind Cheryl Cole's Brand New Secret Tattoos
LONDON - Cheryl Cole was speaking before the English Garden Club at the Monty Python Hotel in Brompton when she was asked how her American boyfriend was doing. She smiled and said proudly that Derek and his dance partner Jennifer Grey had just won...
Read full storyNew Bush Memoir Hails Choking on Pretzel as Top Decision Point
In his newly published memoir, Decision Points, former President George W. Bush hailed his most critical "decision point" as choking on a pretzel, which caused him to faint and fall off the sofa while watching American football on television. "The...
Read full storyDumpster Divers Praise Bountiful Harvest
Yesterday in America the day of Thanksgiving was observed, families, friends and workmates all gathered to give their heartfelt appreciation for all they are fortunate enough to have received. People gather together and celebrate in the tradition...
Read full storyTeenagers Found on Island
Starving teenagers have been found on a small island off the coast of New Zealand where they were wrecked in a gale. They had been living on coconuts for many days and were slowly starving. 'This is just what we need' declared Prince Philip from t...
Read full storyGeorge Bush Was Played By...
Washington - In an interview with Matt Lauer, George Bush disclosed that his last four years in the White House were played by Ralph Burges, owner of a Jimmy Johns in Dallas, TX, because he wanted to spend more time relaxing on his ranch. "I real...
Read full storyErotic Toys for Males Cumming
With women enjoying sex toys for years, men have felt left out. 'This is sex discrimination' alleged Simon Perv who is introducing a number of holes in the wall that leave little to the imagination! Behind the wall is a handy implement which Perv...
Read full storyNorth Korea Conquers U.S. during National Food Coma
WASHINGTON - The Unites States is now under the rule of a North Korean occupation force of one million troops. In a carefully timed midnight raid, the North Korean military successfully executed Jag-eob Teulibtopan (Operation Tryptophan), easily sei...
Read full storyTurkey Man Ready for Christmas
Bernard Matthews, famous for his turkeys, has made the ultimate sacrifice just in time for Christmas. He should be ready in the shops in time for the great festivities. 'It will give my Christmas that extra oomph' said housewife Vera Mook 'to have...
Read full storyDaily Telegraph giving away free mincepies. Spoof to go 'one better'
So, the Daily Telegraph is giving away free delicious mincepies with proof of purchase of the newspaper. God they must be desperate for sales. Rather cheeky when you think about it, as they often steal our Spoofs to pad their paper. Well, I have come up with a much better idea. The Spoof will be giving away free stories. 'So what's the difference - we do that now?' you ask. The difference...
Read full storyFormer Madam Heidi Fleiss In News Again As Underwear Blamed for House Fire!
Fire investigators in Pahrump, Nevada, are continuing their investigation into the fire at former Hollywood Madam's Heidi Fleiss's "house", parrot aviary, and center for her internet site which offers suggestions on small business 'start up' strat...
Read full storyRoyal Shakespeare Company to perform Star Trek
Patrick Stewart has convinced the Royal Shakespeare company to put on his play The Trouble with Borg Tribbles at the Globe Theatre. The play is loosely based on the Shakespearean play The Two Gentlemen of Verona. "I am relatively excited by this p...
Read full storyRepublicans Hope for Government Shutdown
November 26 (Spoof News) - Republicans are hopeful that a government shutdown in April will prove that they are serious about smaller government and less influence from Washington. "I know we can avoid a government shutdown if we work with Obama t...
Read full storyNick Clegg refuses to give children Xmas presents despite promises
Nick Clegg, Deputy Prime Minister for the Coalition government, has sensationally refused to give his children any Christmas presents this year despite promises being made for lots of presents in April. Nick Clegg also revealed that he never had a...
Read full storyThanksgiving snaffles up Turkey tycoon Bernard Matthews
Norfuk - (Cold Turkey Stuff): Karmic synchronicity saw the octogenarian's death on Turkey Day, aka Thanksgiving. Matthews died peacefully surrounded by his flock of Broad Breasted Bronzes, Bourbon Reds, Spanish Blacks and Midget Whites. Among...
Read full storyUK Woman Admits She Bought 2nd Hand Dehydrated Smoked Turkey on eBay Cause She Couldn't be Arsed!
Neighbours in a quiet Manchester suburb were still buzzing today after a domestic row over an eBay purchase spilled out into the public street causing further disarray when husbands and wives began to choose sides in the matter, causing further comp...
Read full storyWagner - surprise judge on X factor in US?
Rumours are circulating that Simon Cowell will be taking Wagner to appear as a judge on X factor in the US after a rift developed between him and Cheryl Cole. Insiders claim that Simon is tiring of Cheryls demand to be included, including her citi...
Read full storyAll the Pope's condoms - are they the right fit?
News that the Pope has opted to "kick start" a debate on the use of condoms in Catholic World has caused a predictable stir. Surprisingly few pundits have welcomed the move, viewing this daring exploration of the outskirts of the nineteenth centur...
Read full storyFuture News: Palin Actually Wins 2012 Race
(Published in 2012) - WASHINGTON, D.C. - The whole world had to eat its words today, as Sarah Palin won the presidental race for the Republicans. The race was hard-fought, with either Democrat hopefuls Obama or Hillary Clinton, or Republican James...
Read full storyPolice Chief Takes Hard Line
Sir Paul Stephenson has come out with a prediction that a 'new era of civil unrest' is in the pipeline for Britain. This comes in the aftermath of the Kettle boiling in Whitehall and 16 campus buildings being occupied by students. Sir Paul anticip...
Read full storyRoman Settlement Found In London: Big Deal, Says Expert.
An archaeology expert has poured scorn on the discovery of a Roman settlement at a London building site. The discovery, on the site of the new Waldorf Astoria being built at Syon Park, has "excited" archeologists who have found more than 11,000 ar...
Read full storyFuture News: Voyager One Probe Returns to Earth
(To be published in 2068) - OBAMA, D.C. (EASTERN AMERICORP) - Voyager One, a space probe released in the early 20th century Old Age, has returned to its place of origin: Earth. Voyager One, which was the first ever human-made object to go further...
Read full storyBBC And ITV Daytime TV Schedules Revolution
Daytime terrestrial TV schedules are to be completely revamped next year in response to criticisms and complaints from viewers and watchdogs. Producers and schedulers on the mainstream channels BBC 1, BBC 2 and ITV, have come under fire for showin...
Read full story$2600 for a Pizza Shocks Connecticut Customer
"Mamma Mia," she screamed, when she realized that the charge for her just-delivered pizza had demolished her bank account. Good grief, it was only a $30 pizza, she reasoned. Could the tax and delivery charge really be that high? "Inflatio...
Read full story"Goodbye Joe, We Gotta Go, Me-O My-O" - The Death of Joe Camel
They had an open, Crush-Proof casket at Joe Camel's funeral last week. They tried to plump up his hump by stuffing it with rags but sadly, it had shriveled down to the size of a prune. One of those organic, non-sorbate ones. The wonderful lips, ordinarily flaccid and over to one side in Death, had regained their lifelike shape through the use of clever metal hoops. (1) Late nights in smokey clu...
Read full storyI'm A Celebrity Gillian's Sanity In Question
Serious questions were being raised yesterday about the sanity of I'm A Celebrity contestant Gillian McKeith. Sheryl Gascoigne became the first celeb to be evicted from the jungle and told the audience she didn't know why Gillian went on the show.
Read full story75 Year Old Fridge Takes Place in Record Books
Mrs Ethel Marshwarbler is 92 years old and lives in Cromer, Norfolk. She is the proud owner of a fridge, which has been certified as the UK's oldest, continuously working domestic appliance. The fridge, a Frigidaire D30 model, was made by General...
Read full storyWHO Warns of Possible Asian Gerbil Flu Epidemic
The World Health Organization (WHO)has issued warnings to every major country's health departments regarding the spread of the deadly Asian gerbil flu. Two cases of the flu have already been confirmed, one just outside of Phuket, Thailand and one jus...
Read full storyBush Threatened with Paternity Suit!
Pat McGroyne, a native of Knoblick, Georgia, currently living with his mother, Freida Peoples, in Cazadero, claims that he has indisputable evidence that President George W. Bush is his father. Moving to Sonoma County last April after shutting d...
Read full story"The Walrus and the StockBroker"
The Walrus and the Stockbroker by Stephen D. Gross The neon puddled in the street Coney Island bright illuminating luridly the sallow urban blight and that was odd because it was a National Heritage Site Flourescence poured through office panes and with the neon's glare exposed the sidewalk's cracks and stains which had no business there "A painted whore" a man complained "and I...
Read full storyFeng Shued!
My Bob's Big Boys were all wrong, Pearl told me. Her netsuke-like brow knit in disapproval, she pointed to their aggressive posture, the conspiratorial way they peeked over their shoulders. The way their snug, checkered overalls bulged - "latex lewd! latex lewd!", she snapped in disgust. Their attitude was threatening, Pearl said, if not outright hostile. No wonder people who had slept in our gues...
Read full storyIsle of Wight residents excited about Royal Wedding
Isle of Wight residents are so excited about the upcoming Royal Wedding. They have started fundraising events in order to pay for two islanders to travel to Westminster Abbey to see the wedding up close and personal. The two MUST take many polaro...
Read full storyNew Gov. Says "Hello Kitty!"
"I know you'll have trouble taking me seriously but it seems a viable, virtually untapped resource and I think we should explore it," said Governor-Elect Jerry Brown in a speech to a group of California's county and civic utilities commissioners.
Read full story"SARAH" from Dylan's :Desire: (updated)
SARAH by stephen d gross "I hid in a bush I loaded my gun Had me too many kids, I refused to abort I shot me a moose, I was jes' havin' fun Call me hockey mom, it's a ballbuster's sport" Sarah Sarah With your shrill brittle voice you drill holes in my mind Sarah Sarah What ever made you the dull-witted kind? "I can still see it bleedin', its guts in the sand I grabbed me my kn...
Read full storyBrutal Shopping Conditions Force Renaming to Black and Blue Friday
Traditionally, the Friday after Thanksgiving in America has always been known as Black Friday. This is a day when stores open their doors in the wee hours of the morning and offer the deepest discounts on popular items to give shoppers a break in pri...
Read full storyLocal Rodeo Switches to Bots!
Succumbing to pressure from a community which has grown tired of the exploitation and abuse of animals, the Russian River Rodeo Association has voted 315 to 3 to replace their traditional affair this year with a "Virtual Rodeo." Using mechanical...
Read full storyBoho Grove opens gates to homeless
In an unprecedented and totally unexpected gesture of compassion and generosity, the fabled Bohemian Club has voted to allow its seasonal Monte Rio retreat to be used to shelter Sonoma County's homeless. "We've got dozens of cabins just sitting e...
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