Royal Shakespeare Company to perform Star Trek

Funny story written by IainB

Friday, 26 November 2010

image for Royal Shakespeare Company to perform Star Trek
Patrick Stewart contemplating the sequel: The Merchant of Deep Space 9

Patrick Stewart has convinced the Royal Shakespeare company to put on his play The Trouble with Borg Tribbles at the Globe Theatre. The play is loosely based on the Shakespearean play The Two Gentlemen of Verona.

"I am relatively excited by this project," said Stewart. "It successful fuses the two loves of my life: Star Trek and Shakespeare without detracting from either."

At first the RSC were unwilling to perform a play that was not Shakespeare.

"Generally we only perform Shakespeare's classic plays," said RSC director, Ivy Henry. "The initial draft of Patrick's script was more Star Trek than Shakespeare. Fair play to Patrick though, he took on board our criticism and returned with the play modelled on Shakespeare's first play."

The play itself centres on the friendship between Jean Luc Valentine and Proteus Riker, and their quadratic relationship with Deanna Silvia and Julia Crusher. This stormy affair is set against the backdrop of Tribbles being assimilated by the Borg and attempting to take over the galaxy.

Derek Jacobi has been lined up to play Riker, as he is the only acceptable English actor that looks good in a beard, whilst Deanna Silvia and Julia Crusher will be played by Helen Mirren and Kate Beckinsale respectively.

"There is a satisfactory denouement that resolves both the strained relationships between the four principle characters and the saving of all life in the galaxy," said Stewart. "I don't think I am revealing too much when I say that the finale will bring tears to the eye."

Casting for the remaining roles in the show have begun, and the play is expected to run at the Globe Theatre between March next year and Stardate 46379.1.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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