Roman Settlement Found In London: Big Deal, Says Expert.

Funny story written by Ellis Ian Fields

Friday, 26 November 2010


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An archaeology expert has poured scorn on the discovery of a Roman settlement at a London building site.

The discovery, on the site of the new Waldorf Astoria being built at Syon Park, has "excited" archeologists who have found more than 11,000 artefacts, coins and jewellery.

Said one: "We were extremely fortunate to discover such a comprehensive repertoire of Roman finds and features so close to the surface. They tell us a great deal about how the people of this village lived, worked and died."

But another expert, Durham University's Dr Branston Hittite-Trowel, said: "Oh For crying out loud. Another bloody Roman settlement - what on earth are they wetting themselves about?

"Archeologists getting all excited about another Roman site... 'we can learn so much!' Utter bollocks.

"There are Roman settlements all over the place and museums are full of their rubbish. Bits of broken pots, swords - how much of this junk do we need?

"If you ask me, it just gives them something to do. Get a life, for Heaven's sake!"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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