Former Madam Heidi Fleiss In News Again As Underwear Blamed for House Fire!

Funny story written by Morse

Friday, 26 November 2010

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Bollocks Blows the Whistle on Former Madam after Soiled Panties Blamed for Fire!

Fire investigators in Pahrump, Nevada, are continuing their investigation into the fire at former Hollywood Madam's Heidi Fleiss's "house", parrot aviary, and center for her internet site which offers suggestions on small business 'start up' strategies.

When fireman arrived, they found the house in flames, Ms. Fleiss, 45, emerging from the house after rescuing all of her 25 exotic parrots, claiming the conflagration was the result of a 'chimney fire' gone out of control.

Suspicions were aroused when one of the senior parrots, named Bollocks, continued to cry out " LIAR, LIAR, PANTS ON FIRE!" which ultimately led investigators to Ms. Fleiss's charred underwear drawer in a bureau in her master suite.

Preliminary visual inspection seemed to confirm that indeed, the fire might have started there, with traces of an accelerate found inside the charred drawer, 2 severely burned electrical wires, a melted AA battery and a Patek Phillepe watch, later traced to Hollywood SEX addict and Prostitute Prone, Charlie Sheen.

A distraught Fleiss, who had earlier in her career claimed to have made $1m in just her first 4 months as Madam in Hollywood, with her "slowest " day being just $10,000, said she didn't know how Charlie's watch wound up mixed in with her crotchless panties, but did acknowledge Charlie had been known to drop by once in awhile to interact with her birds.

In recent years Ms. Fleiss had attempted to open her newest venture, "Heidi's Stud Farm" at the location, but the permit was held up by State Senator Harry Reid in a fit of pique, according to insiders, who refused to leave a tip after a late night romp.

Following that delay, Heidi opened her all night nude cleaning business aptly named "Dirty Laundry" which was said to be doing just "OK" but was under scrutiny by the FBI due to complaints of women's thongs going missing and possibly being part of a global internet trafficking scheme involving soiled panties stretching as far as the UK.

With her fortunes looking dim, Ms. Fleiss recently announced her engagement to the owner of a Nevada legal house of pleasure, "The Moonlite Bunny Ranch" catering to out of state tourists with a 'rabbit habit' according to the owner.

When last seen Ms. Fleiss was seen frantically trying to cover the cage of Bollocks who continued to cry out "AAARGHHH,AAARGHHH.... Avast there Big Boy...no more Pussy until you Pay....AAARGHHH!"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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