Written by Karen Leone

Friday, 26 November 2010

image for Family of four found living under William Shatner's toupee
"Even though you can't see or hear them at all, a person's a person, no matter how small"- Dr. Seuss and Harry Mudd

Startling reports out of Los Angeles this afternoon reveal that a practically microscopic family has been living under William Shatner's toupee for decades without notice.

The shockingly teeny Mudd family apparently migrated from the fur of a tribble to the crown of Shatner's head in 1967 and has been living there, rent free, ever since. "I don't know what's worse," complained Shatner's agent, Tranya Balock, "the fact that these infinitesimal freeloaders haven't paid my client one red cent in 43 years, or that I didn't get my cut of that money. It's a f-ing outrage."

Harry Mudd, the itsy bitsy family's patriarch understands Mr. Shatner's dismay, but insists that the family has been the ideal tenants. "Look, it's true we're not paying rent, but it's also true that we keep this man's head in perfect condition. The daily scalp massages and dandruff treatments alone are worth at least as much as the cost of renting this bald spot- and, besides, I didn't see anyone else lining up to live here. When all is said and done, I think the landlord breaks even on this deal."

As for Shatner, the iconic actor released the following statement through his publicist just minutes ago: "I don't wear a toupee."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: William Shatner

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