New Bush Memoir Hails Choking on Pretzel as Top Decision Point

Written by Zako Strle

Friday, 26 November 2010

image for New Bush Memoir Hails Choking on Pretzel as Top Decision Point

In his newly published memoir, Decision Points, former President George W. Bush hailed his most critical "decision point" as choking on a pretzel, which caused him to faint and fall off the sofa while watching American football on television.

"The pretzel-choking decision was by far my most critical," wrote Bush, "Because it taught me the important lesson of chewing before attempting to swallow food."

Bush also ranked the pretzel-choking incident as his fourth most embarrassing after 1) Cheney shooting a guy, 2) Dodging a flying shoe, and 3) Getting caught on tape sarcastically searching for WMDs under his office desk.

Bush concluded by saying he regrets not getting to serve a third term because he's pretty sure he could have bankrupted the US and broke the entire world.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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