Peter Andre: Secret Girlfriend Named
I can exclusively reveal that Peter Andre has been involved in a secret love affair for the past few months, despite taking an official line with the media that he is single. Speculation over Peter's love life has been rife since he split with his...
Read full storyRash of Celebrity's Children Committing Suicide Puts Hollywood Day Cares On Lock-Down
It started with the son of Walter Koenig (Chekov on Star Trek). Next was the son of singer and entertainer Marie Osmond. No one in Hollywood knows who will be the next child of a b-list star to commit suicide due to depression, and the second tier...
Read full storySusan Boyle Frightened By Bald-Headed Mouse In Closet
Friends of Susan Boyle say that Susan told them that she would NEVER go back to the ****** Hotel ever again. "She told us that she thought she saw a bedbug when she first came into her room but that might have been one of those 'spider web things...
Read full storyOlympics present dangerous safety hazard reports Canadian Industrial Safety Board
After routine inspections, the CISB is considering closing down this year's Winter Olympics in Vancouver, B.C. Inspectors were amazed at the number of dangerous, slippery floors and slopes that were accessible to the athletes and the general publ...
Read full storySubo gets her red mittens
Miss Boyle is reported to have spent most of yesterday afternoon chatting with her expat Canadian volunteers in the shed. Notbannedfan noticed that Miss Boyle appeared to be sad. It can't be money, she thought, subo has just sold her zillionth CD, sh...
Read full storyTaylor Swift, Tila Tequila, and Brenda Song To Record The Classic Hit Song "Sukiyaki"
LOS ANGELES - Record producers Trevor and Yoshi Kitchenbit have just announced to the recording industry media that they have signed Taylor Swift, Tila Tequila, and Brenda Song to record the 1963 number one hit "Sukiyaki." The song which was made...
Read full storyIron Brew sold out in UK
The British fans of Iron Brew are up in arms at the news that there isn't a drop of their favourite drink to be found across the nation. Apparently some rich American fan's of Susan Boyle's ordered every last drop and are having it shipped over to...
Read full storyThe U.S. and The U.K. To Ban "Um" and "You Know" During Award Show Acceptance Speeches
LONDON - The combined governments of the United States and the United Kingdom have decided to act on thousands of complaints, requests, and suggestions and will immediately be moving to ban the use of the words "um" and "you know" in award show accep...
Read full storyPatti LaBelle Says The American Idol Judges Are Not Qualified To Judge
MOBILE, Alabama - Patti LaBelle was in Mobile visiting an ex-boyfriend who she says borrowed $7,000 from her back in 1987. She was asked what she thought about this year's American Idol contestants and new judge Ellen DeGeneres. Miss LaBelle sa...
Read full storyChilean quake dislodges Neo-Nazi's secret Colonia Dignidad/Villa Baviera torture tunnels
Conception - (Faultlines): "Not hard to guess where Austrian dungeonmaster Joseph Fritzl got his inspiration!" was the only comment from astonished relief workers in the devastated Chilean town of Parral. Located on the northern shore of the Perqu...
Read full storySubo needs red mittens in Scottish blizzards
As blizzards once again hit her homeland Miss Boyle, reportedly, is unable to get her mitts on the 2010 Winter Olympics must have, a pair of red mittens decorated with the maple leaf on one side and the Olympic rings on the other. Allegedly there...
Read full storySnap, Crackle, Where's Pop?
Famous brothers Snap, Crackle and Pop have announced that they are splitting up after decades of working together on the cereal promotion circuit. The elves, who were "snapped" up by cereal giant Kellogg's to be the official mascots of Rice Krisp...
Read full storySubo takes up Subbuteo and gets beat 77 to nil
Susan Boyle alias Subo has taken up Subbuteo the football table soccer game in which you use skill to flick the football players you have to play a game of soccer on a table. Players maintain possession as long as the figure they flick makes contact...
Read full storySimon Cowell and Ellen Degeneres Invite Ivana Phuque To Perform On American Idol
Swedish Olympic Skater Ivana Phuque has become the international darling of the Vancouver Winter Games. She has won four gold medals and the hearts of millions of fans all over the world. Her daring jumps, spins, and leaps, all performed braless an...
Read full storyIvana Phuque To Take Up Karate
Ivana Phuque, Olympic speed skating champion and darling to millions of sports fans has announced that she wants to win gold at the summer Olympics. She is to attempt to gain a place on the Swedish Karate team for London 2012. At a press conferenc...
Read full storyWailng Wall Proposed For DC Mall
In a joint press conference today, Republican leaders joined by members of the T-Baggers, Birthers, Fox News, and talk show personalities announced that a bill is being introduced in Congress to construct a Wailing Wall on the DC Mall. Congressma...
Read full storyBA - "Project Mirror" goes Live!
Not so well known British airline company Brutish Airways today announced cost saving measures to try and shore up the ailing company's finances until they go bust allowing Ryanair to take them over later this year. "We had a brainstorming session...
Read full storyMartha Stewart: How To Wipe Your Ass Using Only One Corncob
Today's guests on Martha Stewart are one Lonas Peediddle of Badger, Arkansas and his pig, Alice. Martha announced that today her audience would be learning a basic survival technique from a Mr. Badger from Peediddle, Arkansas. "Uh, right...or c...
Read full storyKristen Stewart Was Pregnant Insists Australian Tabloid
It was all front page news last year when the story broke by the Australian tabloid, "The Weekly Snatch" saying that Kristen Stewart was pregnant by Robert Pattinson. Then it all blew over and the tabloid was discredited. Now they are back and ins...
Read full storyNick Jonas To Star In Challenging Movie, "A Leap In Time"
Nick Jonas of the band, the Jonas Brothers who has played roles on television besides playing music and singing for the group, has taken on the challenging role of a teenager who goes back in time to try to prevent a tragedy from happening. "This...
Read full storyAmazon Offence Coalition blames Falklands crude drill for Chile tremor
Quito - (Richter Scale): The Ecuadorean corruption cheerleader issued a statement today blaming Wannabe Petroleum's oil rigs for triggering the 8.8 quake which rattled much of western Latin America today. The fledgeling crude explorer started dril...
Read full storyLloyd Grosswoman Recalled
Lloyd Grosswoman has been recalled amid fears that he might contain traces of ass. Customers who have purchased any Lloyd Grossman products are being urged to return the products. The warning was issued by the Health Standards Agency. Spokesman S...
Read full storyBuckingham Palace Closed After Tourist Mauled By Camilla
Buckingham Palace has been closed to visitors after a tourist was mauled by Camilla, wife of Prince Charles. The incident happened in the state banqueting rooms during a guided tour. Several times in the past visitors have been attacked by minor m...
Read full storyChinese bank owns 50 Premiership players' gambling debts 'worth £60m'
London - (Sports Relief): At least fifty Premiership players' gambling debts worth an estimated £60 million have been bought up by the King Kong & Sham High Banking Corp. Worried Punters Anonymous sources estimate that up to 90% of England 20...
Read full storyMet Launch New Personal Officer Scheme
The Metropolitan Police have launched a new scheme in order to combat crime in a modern way. The traditional 'bobby on the beat' is a huge strain on resources and is now largely unworkable. It will be replaced with the new personal officer scheme.
Read full storyAl Gore Pleads Please Please Help Me as Global Freezing evidence grows
Al Gore appeared today at a news conference in New York looking rather worried and disturbed. "Please Please Help Me" he said "An iceberg that has broken free from Antarctica caused by Global Warming will probably cause Global Freezing" The iceber...
Read full storySuBo abducted by aliens
Fanatics were distraught last night after Susan Boyle was reportedly abducted by aliens. A bright beam of light was seen over her Scottish home, lasting for several seconds. SuBo is nowhere to be found. Late last night, a communication from the pl...
Read full storySubo blamed for US shortage of red wool
"Wool for all seasons" magazine has reported a shortage of red wool in many US states. Shelves in craft stores are reported to be cleaned out of red wool while stocks of other shades of wool appeared to be plentiful. The craft store chain, "M...
Read full storyRobert Pattinson & Kristen Stewart meet the wise woman
Robert Pattinson & Kristen Stewart took a flight to London yesterday after someone advised them to check TheSpoof.com and read the magazine article about the wise woman. The Wise Woman lives in London in Trafalgar Square and feeds the pigeons...
Read full storyAndy Murray & The Money to Burn Syndrome
Investigative reporter Ian Burns has been investigating what he calls THE MONEY TO BURN SYNDROME and is calling for an end to this madness now. Ian explained that he is pissed off hearing about overpaid sportsmen,actors and corrupt overpaid politi...
Read full storyBBC Radio Cutbacks - Radio Glasgow To Close
The BBC has announced that it is to axe Radio Glasgow as part of its cutback plans. The radio station will broadcast for the final time on Monday March 1st. BBC spokesperson Marmalade Dirty-Hussy said "We have to make some savings and we decided...
Read full storyAshley Cole Blames It On The Boogie
Shamed Ashley Cole, philandering husband of nation's sweetheart Cheryl Cole, has broken his silence regarding the high profile break-up. An unofficial statement released by a tramp this morning states, "My wife's always dancing, which isn't in its...
Read full storyNASA Says Astronauts Will Eventually Go To Mars, Martians Say "Oy!"
Martians are appalled by the news that astronauts will, at some point in the future, be heading for their homeland. With an intergalactic wiretapping audio-visual device, a Spoof reporter was able to observe, and listen to, a conversation between tw...
Read full storyScotland owned By England according to Queen of England and other places
The Queen of England today declared that Scotland is owned by England,speaking from Buckingham Palace she said " Scotland is part of the United Kid On and is owned by England we need your oil money" While the mainstream media continue to confuse p...
Read full storyLady Nips Only in Airplane Bathroom
(Tokyo-Japan) All Nippon Airways, ANA, will introduce women-only lavatories on its international routes starting next week. In a statement released by the airline, the gender based lavatories were not a result of "any specific complaints. It was...
Read full storyHealth Care Reform on TV...at Least
(Washington, D.C.) The televised live bipartisan debate between President Obama and members of Congress was generally dubbed a "publicity stunt" by the media as well as political scholars, who are convinced that neither side was swayed. "Only the...
Read full storyPaterson not looking for reelection; will remain governor
(Albany-NY) Embattled New York Governor David Paterson is expected to announce that he won't seek reelection, but will remain as governor for the rest of the year. This is due to a "New York Times" story reporting that the governor may have inter...
Read full storySarah Palin Goes NRA
(Charlotte-NC) Sarah Palin will be the keynote speaker at the National Rifle Association's annual meeting in Charlotte, North Carolina this May. Palin, in addition to being a former Governor of Alaska and nemesis to "The Family Guy", is a huntere...
Read full storyIvana Phuque To Enter UK Politics
Swedish speed skater Ivana Phuque is to turn her back on Olympic sport for a career in politics. Phuque, resident in Littlehampton, is expected to announce the formation of her own political party, the Free United Constitutional Kinfolk. Already memb...
Read full storyTurkey Coup or Coop for Turkeys? You decide!
Most of the world has always wondered about a country that is named after a fowl. We don't have the "United States of Chicken" or "Great Budgie". Of course there are the Canary Islands, but they are just islands after all! So when Turkey's government suffers a coup, just how serious are we to take it? Does this mean that a portion of the country will be chopped off like some huge drumstick?...
Read full storySad day for Americans - they have run out of red tablecloths
It's a sad, sad day for Americans. Today, 26th February, 2010 the USA ran out of red plastic tablecloths. This date 26th February will be forever recoginized as RED FRIDAY and has been designated an American National Holiday. From this day forward, whenever the 26th February falls on Friday....NO-ONE will be allowed to wear anything red or anything plastic. No-one is allowed to give...
Read full storyCharlie Sheen in talks to make new show Two and a half men in Rehab
Charlie Sheen star of the television programme Two and A Half Men has now gone into Rehab and is unavailable at present to film any more episodes of the hit US comedy series. Producers are threatening to sue Mr Sheen for two and a half million dol...
Read full storyRobert Pattinson & Kristen Stewart visit Eskimos in Alaska
Robert Pattinson & Kristen Stewart visited Eskimos in Alaska yesterday as part of a plan to see if everybody in the World knew who they were. After speaking to dozens of Eskimos in their Igloos it became quite clear in fact 100% clear Eskimos...
Read full storyDancing With The Stars Kisses Lacey Schwimmer Bye-Bye
HOLLYWOOD - One of the producers of Dancing With The Stars Curtis Verflippet has stated that the upcoming DWTS season will not include professional dancer Lacey Schwimmer. When asked why the popular 21-year-old had been axed Verflippet simply said...
Read full storyTGN Cancels The Miley Cyrus, Selena Gomez, and Demi Lovato Reality Show - "We Were Just 17"
HOLLYWOOD - TGN, the Teenage Girl Network has just stated that they have cancelled the teenage girl show, We Were Just 17, after only airing four shows. TGN vice-president of programming and scheduling Ellsworth Birdstoopski stated that although t...
Read full storyAtomic element namesake snubbed
The International Union of Pure and Applied Chemistry (IUPAC) added copernicum to its list of officially-recognized elements this week. Element number 112, previously named ununbium, was given a permanent title after seven months of debate. Whi...
Read full storyMan grows beard on back of head
Local dead-head Iver Stronganja has repeated something experts said could only happen once in the age of Aquarius - he has grown a beard squarely on the back of his head! In an interview he said, "Last fall I decided to go for it again and get so...
Read full storyGiant Iceberg Breaks Off In Bid For Winter Olympics
After months of vacillation Antarctica has decided to send a delegation to the Winter Olympics in Vancouver. The team is heading northward in the shape of an large iceberg. More massive than the state of Connecticut,the berg is hoping to medal in...
Read full storyToyota throttles hacked
After their success in defeating Google, the Chinese Hackers Society (CHS) has turned its attention to Japan. Since they discovered that the new Toyotas use wireless throttle control, they are now hacking the control systems of the Toyotas, and ar...
Read full storyAshley Cole's Mum Wants Cheryl To Forgive Little Ashley For His Being Seduced By Half A Dozen "Fans"
LONDON - One has to hand it to Ashley Cole, err on second thought lets make that one has to admire the Chelsea chap for pulling out all of the stops in trying to salvage his marriage to his wife the "Pond Hopping" Cheryl Cole (Hough?). Ashley, or...
Read full storyNBA Sports Announcer Marv Albert Suspended For His Watermelon Remark
NEW ORLEANS - Veteran National Basketball Association sports announcer Marv Albert has been suspended by the NBA for a remark he made during the New Orleans Hornets - Cleveland Cavaliers game. Albert who thought that his microphone was off remarke...
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