Not so well known British airline company Brutish Airways today announced cost saving measures to try and shore up the ailing company's finances until they go bust allowing Ryanair to take them over later this year.
"We had a brainstorming session at McDonalds on the Bath Road", aye, so we did, explained Wee Willie Walshie the beleaguered little Irish Tinker that currently heads BA.
"The five remaining staff came up with some great ideas that'll fit in perfectly with the grim reality of the current times" beamed the perma-tanned executive. We needed a plane that doesn't require any staff and that led us to begin "Project Mirror" the invention of our new "Austerity Jet"!
Instead of the usual safety announcement pantomime we'll now play a recorded message saying, "We crash, You Die" which'll save us at least three minutes on each leg that a BA jet flies.
Mr.Walsh went on to reveal that the new style of BA jet will not use engines but will be launched on a giant catapult into a Low Earth orbit.
It will use the latest "TomTom" technology to land utilising giant parachutes into the nearest ocean/Sea/Garden Pond where rapid rescue teams will be on hand to Welcome/Recover/Resusscitate our Beloved Business Class Passengers!
Our Opinion
Apparently there'll be a similar system for economy class passengers although their new jet won't have the parachutes. BA want the travelling public to know that no expense has been spent in the quest to supply a unique travelling experience.I would recommend that anyone flying from London to Scotland should take the train as the angles involved in take off and landing look rather extreme!
