The British fans of Iron Brew are up in arms at the news that there isn't a drop of their favourite drink to be found across the nation.
Apparently some rich American fan's of Susan Boyle's ordered every last drop and are having it shipped over to the States. However, they won't be drinking it, they intend to fill all their huge pools with Iron Brew. Only the indoor pools of course, as they don't wish the precious liquid to be diluted by rain.
They've already been on their knees numerous times, apologizing to and asking for the forgivess of their 'maker' for snubbing one of His greatest creations 'water'.
They WERE going to await the '2nd coming' and get their 'Saviour' to do his magic trick of turning water into wine, or in this case, Iron Brew.
It seems they just couldn't wait.
These fans are offering, out of the kindness of their Susan Boyle fluttering hearts, to allow any Susan fan to swim or lounge in their Iron Brew filled swimming pools:
a) For free if they are wearing red knickers and a red scarf and also agree to be blessed every time they visit.
OR
b) For a donation of $25 to their favourite charity, which is, of course, their darling fansite. This will be $25 per dip.
In order to avoid a riot in the UK the owners of the Iron Brew company,their regular staff plus 2,000 temporary newly hired employees,are working 24/7 in 3 shifts to refill the vats and have promised that fans of Iron Brew will be receiving 2 free bottles as soon as they can ship them to the Supermarkets.
All TRUE Iron Brew fans can be easily recognized by the light orange colouring of their skin. However, darker skinned fans, who have a difficult time being recognized as Iron Brew fans, have been examined by skin specialists employed by the Iron Brew company and have been given a special ID card.
This move is to stop non Iron Brew fans from 'pretending' just to get the 2 free bottles.
Normal supplies of Iron Brew should be available by the end of the week.
Iron Brew fans have been promised that the drink will never again be sold to anyone wearing a red scarf or a Pebbles button or anyone looking 'holier than thou'.
