WikiLeaked...Clinton:"Cheryl Cole's Accent Good for U.S. X-Factor Audiences"...TheSpoof.com Editor:"We Need More Britney Spears"...Obama Girls Graded by Teacher Taylor Swift...It's Snowing (So More Gay Royal Sex, Less Football)
WikiLeaks founder, Julius Massage, has warned earthlings that the leaks will continue until his demands are met. The warning coincided with yet another leak of classified data -- this time to Good Housekeeping Magazine. The United Nations has cal...
Read full storyTaylor Swift's Top Ten Things She Wants for Christmas
10. People to accept her boob size. 9. A number one hit that doesn't have anything to do with a bad relationship. 8. To be as popular as Miley Cyrus. 7. For those pictures of her wearing her grandmother's bathing suit to disappear from the internet. 6. To be liked by Kanye West. 5. To get a date with a Spoof Writer. 4. To find out what it means to have a broken heart. 3.
Read full storyDickiLeaks: First and Fore(skin)Most & Other Assorted OddBall Realities of the Nixon White House Years
In what certainly ranks as one of the more bold and thoroughly adventurous attempts by once proud and reasonably respectable Watergate era newshound Bob Woodward to once again remind a more or less disinterested world of his once upon another time aw…
Read full storyBarca Pedro in autograph shame
Barcelona ace Pedro is at the centre of a controversial new autograph rule, that he himself has created and imposed. The player and his agent have both confirmed that the only thing Pedro will be signing from now on is 'titties'. Employers Barc...
Read full storyBritain defeated by Compare the Meerkat in World Cup bid
Aleksandr Orlov. The funny little meerkat every British household wants a doll of, just to have him given to your dog as a Christmas present. Now the proud mascot of Moscow as he was the first to celebrate the Russian success. In a fixed vote,...
Read full storyStephen Ireland in Corrie anniversary deal
Aston Villa have this evening confirmed that midfield maestro Stephen Ireland has agreed to play in this weekends fixture against Liverpool. The Villa spokesman went on to state that as the Villa fixture doesn't clash with any soap omnibuses Irel...
Read full storyNew Penis Injection Has Permanent Affect
What man wouldn't mind a semi-erection at normal times and a full one when he or the wife wants it? Scientific breakthroughs are coming in daily, along with results of research on human DNA and the human brain. "What we are afraid of is that th...
Read full storyWikiLeaks: Angelina Jolie Worked For CIA
Although not near as startling as the fact that Julia Child was a spy during World War II, the report in WikiLeaks CIA file shows that actress Angelina Jolie was working for them for 4-5 years before dropping out two years ago. "She was doing a gr...
Read full storyVietnam anyone? But you need to be schizophrenic, bi-polar or have multiple personality disorder to be elgible for THIS competition
I came across this in one of the Dailies: "Luxury travel specialists Travelzest are looking for a luxury holiday tester to try out a fabulous holiday for two in Vietnam and report back on their experience. Enter our competition and it could be you… " Firstly, they must be fixing the competition for a person suffering from, schizophrenia, bi-polar disorder or multiple personality disorder bec...
Read full storyA Surprise
Penny came through the door and told Terry: 'I've been to Upton Park and had a real surprise.' 'I'll guess. Manchester United only beat West Ham 3-0'. 'No.' 'Am I close?' 'No.' 'Just 1-0?' 'No.' 'Not a draw?' 'No.' 'We got a penalty in the last minute and won 1-0?' 'No.' 'Penny. You've got to tell me.' 'We won 4-0! The worst deafeat for Manchester United since a...
Read full storyATT to Release 5G Network Early 2011
Thumbing its proverbial corporate nose at Verizon Wireless and the success of their 4G network, ATT reportedly plans to step over 4G technologies with fifth generation wireless speed and smart phone solutions before Spring of 2011. ATT's closely g...
Read full storyAliens on Arsenic; A New Standard for Life in the Universe
Really, totally, and unequivocally excited about their recent bacterium discovery in an arsenic pool in California, biologists and astrologers were quick to hypothesize the existence of life (in other forms) across the universe. Though most all li...
Read full storyThe Universe Has Billions More Stars than Once Thought
Thanks to deep space analysis and the identification of galaxies even further away than had ever been measured before, scientists now believe that there may be three times as many stars as previously thought. Astronomer and discoverer, Myron Neepe...
Read full storyWikileaks set to reveal the obvious once again
Whistle-blowing site of the obvious, Wikileaks, is set to reveal more 'shocking' truths next week in further fresh revelations. This follows a week in which the website exclusively revealed America is wary of Iran, members of the Royal Family are...
Read full storyMan Caught Masterbating With Barbie-Type Doll In Toy Department Of Wally World
A man who would only give police his last name as "Blick" has been arrested in the toy department of Wally World in Sarasota, Florida. "We caught him wiping his goop off onto two more dolls when we got back to that part of the store. No one in the...
Read full storyEngland's World Cup Bid failure explained
England's latest world cup failure is easy to explain. It has nothing to do with handbags, wags or Panorama - but has a more down to earth explanation - Gary Lineker's confession that he had shat himself during a game in the 1990 World Cup Finals.
Read full storyProcrastinators arrested for stealing time
Many people have asked themselves where has the time gone, and wondered why there does not seem to be enough hours in the day. After a three year investigation by the temporal branch of Scotland Yard it looks like an answer to both questions has...
Read full storyBreast Implant Explodes
Harry Caster, through his attorney C. Brewton Collier revealed today that a family Thanksgiving Dinner was ruined when a "breast implant" was discovered in their turkey. "It was devastating for the family," Collier stated, "You can just imagine, t...
Read full storyEgypt offer all-in shark attack package holidays "dead" cheap!
Thousands of thrill-seeking extreme surfers and stupid tourists are packing their surf boards, suitcases, buckets and spades and are heading towards Egypt. Sharks have been attacking people there with impunity and the Egyptian Tourist Board are ex...
Read full storyDom Jolly: "My placenta hell"
Comic and reality tv star Dom Jolly has emotionally revealed to fellow camp mates that he has finally beaten a placenta addiction after three years of suffering with the disease. Jolly said, "After Trigger Happy TV finished I spent most of my time...
Read full story£460 Million spent for TWO votes at the FIFA World Cup bid.
Zurich, SWITZERLAND: England's World's Cup bid was humiliatingly destroyed as FIFA revealed that the England bid won just two votes. 2018 World Cup bid voting. First round: England 2 votes. Belgium-Netherlands 4. Spain-Portugal 7. Russia 9. (E...
Read full storyBalotelli: "Yous lot need to fix up"
Italian badboy Mario Balotelli last night stunned radio listeners with a foul-mouthed outburst live on air. The Man City ace was a special guest on a football based show, and did little to change the perception that he is an overpaid premadonna.
Read full storyU.S. Sends Federal Mediator to Wrong Ivory Coast
While the Ivory Coast nation is embroiled in election fraud and other voting practice controversy, the U.S. Department of State offered up one of their most experienced mediators to help bring closure to the conflict. Thanks to overly brief text mes...
Read full storyMoon to host 2026 World Cup
The Moon has been selected to host the 2026 World Cup it was announced today. FIFA are keen to bring the World Cup to places that are undeveloped in economic and football terms and the Moon's bid fulfilled both those criteria. The lack of stad...
Read full storyInternet Groupons Confuse Men Shopping for Massage Services
The current rage among some Internet retailers, the group coupon or "Groupon" which is targeted at specific demographic groups, seems to be a misunderstood concept among some middle aged men. Popping up in related Internet ads while surfing for lo...
Read full storyAmazon Drops Links for WikiLeaks; Free Speech Just Got Expensive
Not a bad way to kick off a business really, obtain a controversial commodity, even if that commodity embarrasses some world leaders, puts covert operatives lives in danger and damages state relationships, then make it available through paid links fr...
Read full storyRoyal Wedding overkill blamed for England 2018 flop
London - (Nuptial Tosspots): You can blame Clarence House tosspots for this one - or whoever else picked the 65th anniversary of Hitler's Berlin bunker wedding to Eva Braun as next year's Wills and Kate nuptials. That's the message from Zurich ton...
Read full storyWesley Snipes; Man of Principle and Soap on a Rope
Talented and iconic American Actor, Wesley Snipes, has been on a crusade to avoid the payment of what the government claims to be his fair share of taxes, but recently lost his fight. Snipes will voluntarily surrender to Pennsylvania State Prison la...
Read full storyCan a Top Chef Actually Appear on a TV Show Called Top Chef?
Another reality TV competition based on an Oxymoron or two, the new season of Top Chef boasts another group of supposedly top ranked chefs who are so "Tops" in their field that they can apparently drop their restaurant duties to participate for weeks...
Read full storyPsychic Octopus in training for 2018 World Cup
Georgie Snuffeloffogos, Head of London's Zoo's Aquarium Department, was a little upset after hearing that England would NOT be hosting the 2018 Football World Cup after losing the bid to Russia. Georgie said he had started training his Octopus, Mi...
Read full storyRussian Mafia Triumph
In a total sham, which left the Queen in tears and Prince William berating the injustice, the 'FIFA Fools' went for Russia to stage the 2018 World Cup. 'It is clearly a fix' declared William 'the Russians got it because they backed Qatar to get th...
Read full storyEngland football and fans and players in tears over losing 2018 World Cup bid to Russia
England football fans and players were in tears after losing the bid for England to host the 2018 World Cup. Even Beckam and Wills were sniffling when the cameras weren't on them, consoling each other, with snot running from their noses. Now I...
Read full storySimon Cowell backs England World Cup bid, they lost!
All the hype, celebrities, politicians and David Beckham were of no use in England's attempt to host the footie World Cup in 2018, they blew it. The main reason was that "super presentator" of UK's popular talent shows, Simon Cowell, decided to b...
Read full storySF McDonald's Boycotts No Toys in Happy Meals with Wikileaks' Julian Assange Action Figure
Fast food giant, McDonald's today announced that they were considering disregarding a ruling to discontinue toys in Happy Meals and once again offering the popular childrens' treat with limited edition action figures. But the first toy being offered...
Read full storyFree Legal Advice from Supreme Court Justice Scalia
Dear Supreme Court Justice Scalia, I recently got a got busted at an underage drinking party, do I have any chance of getting the charges dropped? --Dumb Ass Dear Dumb Ass, The framers of the Constitution didn't have your best intentions when they came up with laws that violate your rights as a child, but since you old enough to know that underage drinking means a chance of paying fin...
Read full storySelena Gomez, Taylor Swift, and Lady Gaga Will All Sing On Demi Lovato's New Album, "My Favorite All-Time Rehab Songs"
HOLLYWOOD - Demi Lovato's publicist Buckholz Toolficker has informed the entertainment media that Miss Lovato is doing great with her rehab therapy sessions at The Henry and Betty Ford Rehab Clinic. Toolficker stated that Demi has already been acc...
Read full storySpitting hoodies engaged by Huddersfield council to clear snow
Huddersfield council have confirmed reports they engaged the services of spitting hoodies employed as 'conscientious ejectors' to clear snow in order to make up for a shortfall in available vehicles to grit the towns roads. The hoodies were paid a...
Read full storyWikileaks Is Reporting That The Minnesota Vikings Are Moving To Los Angeles
CHICAGO - Wikileaks has over 250,000 documents. And filed among the vast volume is a sports document which states that a Los Angeles based group headed by talk show host Larry King has had several conversations with the owner of the NFL Minnesota Vik...
Read full storyNew Jackson Album to Have Pink Floyd Cover of "Money"
Hollywood - Michael Jackson's new album is going to have a cover of Pink Floyd's song "Money" on it. The news isn't much of a shock for people that were close to Michael, and new that he was obsessed with Pink Floyd. "I can remember how my br...
Read full storyJon Gosselin Gets Job at Starbucks
Hollywood - Jon Gosselin got a job at Starbucks to help for gifts for his eight children. "Reality television was nice, and paid a lot of money, but without a reality show to fall back on, well, I needed to raise some extra cash." Jon Gosselin to...
Read full storyCoffins for Auction
The auction of the coffin of the person who was said to have killed President Kennedy in 1963 is likelly to set a new trend in antiques. With bidding starting at £600 there are likely to be sereral ghouls eager to possess something supposedly link...
Read full storyNew Cooking Method
It will soon be revealed that Ron Popeil and George Foreman are in the process of merging their two companies, and developing a revolutionary new cooking method which will be called the Forepeil. "We have been looking at this method for a number o...
Read full storyViagra Sales Firm while Ex-Lax Market Share Softens
U.S. pharmaceutical sales for both prescription and over the counter drugs remained strong this past week, where the movers and shakers included Viagra experiencing the strongest growth and Ex-Lax sliding into a softer market. Wall Street analyst...
Read full storyWikiLeaks Blamed for Yellow Stains on Pentagon Walls
Reportedly taking advantage of the press coverage provided by the WikiLeaks website, groups of vandals are riding the publicity bandwagon by engaging in some leakage activity of their own, on government buildings in the Washington D.C. area. Yello...
Read full storyLeBron's 23 Burns While Fire Crews Engage with Paper Cups
Anticipating the return of LeBron James to Cleveland for the first time since his money induced exodus, Cleveland basketball officials are doing everything in their power to reduce the risk of fan outrage during the game, including the switch to pape...
Read full storyWikileaks: Wee Willy Windsor 'is dead meat' if England 2018 bid fails
Zurich - (Offside Mess): Kate Middleton strippergram videos were being touted all over Zurich today in a last-gasp bid to secure the tournament. But some ugly rumors claimed FIFA officials would have preferred Beckham/Cameron/Prince William three...
Read full storyCelebrity Suicide Reality TV Show hits UK
A new reality TV show in which celebrities will attempt suicide live on TV is to be launched in the next month. Celebrities lined up so far include Noel Edmunds, Vanessa Feltch, Bobby Davro and Katie Price and will compete every day in various s...
Read full storyTchaikovsky - The Nutcracker
Berlin Philharmonic/Simon Rattle. (EMI) Pierre Noxious writes: Ah, it's Christmas, so it must be old Piotr's Nutcracker. There's a lot of interest in this because Sir Simon doesn't have any rep to speak of when it comes to Tchaikovsky. In fact, this is his first recording of the Russian master and he admits in the sleeve notes that he was never a fan. But this always brings a smile to...
Read full storyMatch Of The Day Presenter Goes AWOL
One of the Match of the Day pundits has stepped out of line and blasted an unprecedented tirade at the Premier League and football authorities. The outburst was made during filming of last Saturday's episode but was edited out before broadcast.
Read full storyJulian Assange Found Hiding Out in Charleston, SC Outback Steakhouse
Julian Assange, founder of Wikileaks had been on the run for months due to a few little missteps in life that got him into hot water with everyone from Interpol to the United States Attorney General. Keeping one step ahead of the law had taken its to...
Read full storyElectrified Testicles Explain UFO Sightings
Boffins worldwide have been stunned by findings that suggest flying saucers can be explained by distressed male organs. Professor Cletus X Scrotum, of the Institute of Weird Science at Harvard, has been studying the phenomenon of UFOs for years an...
Read full storyNASA Using Martian Teaser to Bargain for Billions in New Funding
NASA announced on Twitter Wednesday that on Thursday, they would hold a press briefing on NASA TV and the internet on a new astrobiology discovery. While one can only speculate that they will actually show physical proof of aliens by either producing...
Read full storyJason Trawick Denies That He Beat Britney Spears - He Says She Lip Syncs A Lot And As A Result She Falls Down A Lot
WEST HOLLYWOOD - Jason Trawick, speaking from the front porch of a very close male friend of his, but not a gay one, has flat out stated that he never beat his girlfriend noted singer Britney Spears. Trawick did note that Spears was always walking...
Read full storyJon Gosselin Begs Kate for Money to Buy Engagement Ring
News sources claim that Jon Gosselin has recently found gainful employment in the tech industry, meaning he is back to earning a mere pittance of what he was making before as a pseudo-reality celebrity. Meanwhile, his ex-wife Kate is still making...
Read full storyWikileaks: "We Have In Our Possession The Official President Barack Obama Birth Certificate"
CHICAGO - An unnamed spokesperson for Wikileaks has just informed the main stream media that they have in their possession the one and only original President Barack Obama birth certificate. The birth certificate which has been authenticated by th...
Read full storyKanye West Is So Angry At Taylor Swift That He Is Threatening To Go Up On Stage And Take Away Her Guitar
ATLANTA - Kanye West says that one year after his Taylor Swift MTV MVA microphone stealing incident he is still mad as hell at the little white girl because she never apologized to him for not telling the people not to hate him because he was drunk a...
Read full storySimon "The Sultan of Sarcasm" Cowell Signs The Sexy British Singer Cheryl Cole To Be A Judge On America's X-Factor
HOLLYWOOD - Simon Cowell, the man with the Midas touch, has just signed the attractively sexy British singer Cheryl Cole to be one of the judges on his new American version of X-Factor. Cole was given a contract which will pay her $4.7 million [£3...
Read full storyPrincess Anne goes high tech to double insults to onlookers
The Princess Royal is planning from later this month to more than double the number of insults she delivers to pensioners and other unwitting gatherers at her engagements. "Her Majesty's government has declared we must do more with less, and so I...
Read full storyJust How Sweet Is Stacey Solomon?
Stacey Solomon - most satirists would love to take a pop at her, but they just can't. What's to take a pop at? The girl is deeply dippy in a 'Right Said Fred' way, and just so utterly lovable that she can't be touched. Okay, she's got a really gra...
Read full storyBow Tie Wearing Men 10 Times More Likely To Be Labeled Douchebags
A revealing study today learned that pompous pricks that insist on wearing bow ties are at a 10 times greater risk of being labeled a douchebag. More than 250 people were asked their opinions about men wearing bow ties and the overwhelming respons...
Read full storyFrustration leads to apathy as Americans lose interest in government
The once mighty fists that pumped at the screen while Sean Hannity preached about the socialist government have turned to mild shoulder shrugs as Americans realize that there is nothing they can do about it. "I was so angry about the bailouts, the...
Read full storyWikileaks To Release Never Before Seen Nude Photos Of Angelina Jolie
CHICAGO - Wikileaks has just made it known that it has over three dozen never before seen nude photos of Angelina Jolie that it will be releasing shortly. The photos were reportedly taken by Brad Pitt when he and Jolie were vacationing in Cabo San...
Read full storyYahoo Posts top 10 Searches of 2010
Well, it's almost the end of the year again and it's time for the top searches of 2010. Who will be the reining champion of this much sought after title? In the past winners such as Paris Hilton and Britney Spears were the undisputed heavyweights. Th...
Read full storyHoward Stern Announces Contract Resolution
Howard Stern, Talk Radio Host, Shock Jock and self proclaimed King of All Media, announced at a press conference today he would not be re signing his contract with Sirius/XM Radio. The announcement was prompted by Sirius hiring Dr Laura Schlessinger,...
Read full storyHoward Stern Quits Sirius Radio, Stock Plummets, Subscribers Bail Out
Howard Stern, "King of All Media", has decided to take a powder from Sirius/XM satellite radio. Sterns contract is up for renewal at the end of the year. Howard is famous for his antics when his contracts are due for negotiation. Stern, who is...
Read full storyWorld Comes to an End, No One Notices
The Apocalypse is upon us, the world is falling apart bit by bit. The climate is doing totally unexpected, swings from one extreme to the other. National economies are failing, one after the other, like a unstable house of cards with no sign of bein...
Read full storyDoshless of York Feels Vindicated Yet Depressed by Candid Andy WikiLeaks
The Doshless of York has told friends of her mixed emotions at the WikiLeaks revelations about Prince Andrew braying like an ass in front of a Middle Eastern Rotary Club luncheon. "On one hand, she sees his comments as proof they were perfectly s...
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