Written by Jaggedone

Thursday, 2 December 2010

image for Egypt offer all-in shark attack package holidays "dead" cheap!
Nr 1 Egyptian tourist attraction, never, shark infested Red sea, wicked man!

Thousands of thrill-seeking extreme surfers and stupid tourists are packing their surf boards, suitcases, buckets and spades and are heading towards Egypt.

Sharks have been attacking people there with impunity and the Egyptian Tourist Board are exploiting the situation by offering "Thrills and spills (blood) all in package holidays for 'deadly' wicked cheap prices."

The poor sharks only entered Egyptian waters because the surfing season is over in South Africa and Australia. Always partial to a good piece of muscular surfer leg, they mistakenly took a right at the Dead Sea (nothing doing there), swam down the Nile and ended up in the Red Sea (aptly named after the first attacks, yummy).

Hotel bookings for the region are booming and one no-frills package holidaymaker is putting on surfer-shark-attack specials at very low prices, surf boards included but no suitcases please!

The white tip sharks in question are just minding their own business whilst going about the business of filling their tummies, nothing else!

The first thrill-seeking, loony, sun-burnt, bleach-haired surfer to venture out was Billy Billabong-Wipeout, better known as Archibald, here his comments on the shark situation:

"man, been waiting for this shit all my life, fuck the 4 metre tubes in Hawaii man, this is the real shit!"

He hopped towards the infested waters with his surf board under one arm and his artificial left leg under the other, wicked man!

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Egypt, Shark

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