Zurich - (Offside Mess): Kate Middleton strippergram videos were being touted all over Zurich today in a last-gasp bid to secure the tournament.
But some ugly rumors claimed FIFA officials would have preferred Beckham/Cameron/Prince William three-way shagathon footage instead.
YouBoob! channel sources later commented the steamy 15 minute home movie of England's Three Lions cavorting naked in a hotel shower 'was a damp squib'.
It was withdrawn from circulation after failing to excite a randy - er...random! - cyberaudience of 000s.
The flaccid trio had earlier been warned that failure to deliver the 2018 World Cup could see Young Wills receive a home visit by Uncle Vlad's homeopathetic healers.
According to a latest Wikileaks transcripts these Putin miracle workers hit the headlines in 2007 with a radical cure of a congenital Plutonium-210 deficiency in ex-KGB turncoat Alexander Litvinenko.
The results were of course remarkable.
Today's live draw in Switzerland will be watched by millions including excited bookies who stand to make a $$$s fortune if Spain/Portugal win the prize.
A semi-naked Nadal/Shakira promo video earlier this year may have swung the decision ahead of the opposition campaigns.
Coleen Rooney's stretchmarks are a bit of a legend.
